legit_regit @ 2004-06-24 18:57:00

Current music:

Anyone Can Use a Wand - Acciohead

"I wanna be in a band when I get to Heaven."
I got out of hospital early this morning.

Hermione Granger has covered so much and it saves me the trouble, but it also made everything come alive again.

I was late for dinner last night because I was trying to fit in some last minute revision for my Potions N.E.W.T.s. That seems like years ago now. And then everyone knows what happened. I've never seen anything like that in my life. I've never even seen a Death Eater. I was on the far other side of the castle last year, and part of me thought they were fairy tale monsters. They are that; only the fairy tale is real.

I felt so paralysed, and I suppose that's why I got shoved to the floor. All things considered, I was lucky. In the midst of everything I ended up stuck with Morgan Mullarkey between a wall and a table turned on its side. It sounds safe, but in fact we were terrified because the table was too heavy for either of us to move and no one saw us there. We were afraid that we would be trapped there forever, and it's what it felt like.

We were watching the whole time, basically. Watching and doing absolutely nothing because we couldn't. If we'd had our wands we could have at least attempted to move the detail, but pure brute force was impossible. So we watched. We watched when Prunella Palushock and Euan Abercrombie were levitated into the air, and then the horrible, disgusting Cruciatus Curse.

The thing that I don't want to talk about most, which means I probably should, is that we were in perfect view of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when he crashed in, and I was so scared I cried. I can't believe a person could look like that. He looked more like a snake than anything, and he put the Cruciatus Curse on Harry Potter. I never want to see the Cruciatus Curse again. I can't talk about that anymore. Harry had his wand, and I don't know how he got it but thank God he did. I heard You-Know-Who speaking, and God, it was the worst thing I've ever heard. I put my head between my knees and put my arms over my head so I wouldn't have to hear it.

I heard the Killing Curse and I looked up because I thought it was over. I wished I hadn't looked as soon as I did it, but it was like a reflex. Something odd happened, and something gold shot around the both of them and their wands seemed to be connected. I've never heard of anything like that. One of the Death Eaters started heading towards them, and the next thing I knew there was a huge explosion of green light, and after that I woke up in the Arithmancy classroom.

Which is when I found out about Lisa. Professor McGonagall told me, but Morgan wasn't awake yet and she didn't get to see him once he'd woken up. I didn't want to tell him, and I should have, and I was a coward and I didn't. But I wasn't even thinking. All I could think was that my friend is gone. Lisa and I were closer when we were younger than we are now, but she was my friend, and she - I don't know. I'm not talking about this here. Everything sounds incredibly hokey, like it wasn't all that important or like I'm over it but I don't understand how she could possibly be dead. I spoke to her yesterday. This doesn't make sense to me, and it just happened and I cannot move on from it but so much is happening as well.

I'm listening to this record, and I feel like something inside of me hurts, physically. I want to push my heart back into my chest.

This afternoon people were speculating that Harry Potter is dead, but he isn't. I saw him in the actual hospital wing today while I was looking for Shay. He wasn't awake or anything, but I highly doubt he'd be there if he were dead. It seems that many people were knocked unconscious when there was that large explosion of green, and most are still passed out.

And now, I've heard about Professor Lupin.

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