lupercus @ 2003-04-27 22:17:00

Current mood: confused

Oh, and also...
What on earth happened to my office?

Comments:

wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:09 pm UTC

Ahahaha, well. LONG STORY OKAYBYE

lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:14 pm UTC


Why is my chair in pieces?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:28 pm UTC

Absolutely no idea!

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:20 pm UTC


And why is there an enourmous gash in the wallpaper?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:29 pm UTC

Somebody redecorating?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:21 pm UTC


The floor is wet and full of soap, and the rugs are ruined. Why?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:30 pm UTC

Bleeding innerstorms, I'd imagine. Poor chap!

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:23 pm UTC


The windows are smashed. And there are - are those staples?

How did my shoes get stapled to the ceiling?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:31 pm UTC

Students think they're so sodding funny enchanting things, hahaha!

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:25 pm UTC


Are those scorch-marks on the-

Wait.

Arthur...

WHERE ARE MY OWLS?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:32 pm UTC

OUT DELIVERING? HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:28 pm UTC


Arthur, there is an OWL HEAD under my desk.

There are FEATHERS stuck to everything.

WHY do I think you know something about this?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:33 pm UTC

Not a bleeding sodding clue!

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:29 pm UTC


...

Forget it. I am not even going to ask about the dishwasher.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:33 pm UTC

What's a dishwasher?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:30 pm UTC


Where is the mouse to my computer?

And where did all these ruddy STAPLES come from?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:34 pm UTC

Cat ate it?

From a stapler?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:31 pm UTC


I need a holiday.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:35 pm UTC

Don't we all.

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potions_master @ 2003-04-27 11:38 pm UTC


I would be interested to know, Remus, why there was an unconscious Weasley on the floor of what is left of your office.

With a stapler attached to him in some manner.

And you are still an idiot.

lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:46 pm UTC


Really.

That is interesting.

Arthur? Care to comment?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:48 pm UTC

NOT REALLY

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:49 pm UTC


Oh, I think you should.

Start with the owls.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:53 pm UTC

owl
n.

Any of various often nocturnal birds of prey of the order Strigiformes, having hooked and feathered talons, large heads with short hooked beaks, large eyes set forward, and fluffy plumage that allows for almost noiseless flight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Middle English owle, from Old English le, of imitative origin.]

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lupercus @ 2003-04-27 11:57 pm UTC


That's all very well and informative, Arthur, but I am afraid I must lodge a complaint.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-27 11:58 pm UTC

CLOSED FOR TEA

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:00 am UTC


Never mind that, Arthur.

I wish to complain about the owl what I left here not twenty-four hours ago, in this very office.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:04 am UTC

Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Owl... What's, uh... What's wrong with it?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:05 am UTC


I'll tell you what's wrong with it, Arthur - he's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:07 am UTC

No!!!!!!1 No - he's uh... he's resting.

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:08 am UTC


Look, Weasley, I know a dead owl when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:09 am UTC

NONONO he's not DEAD!!!!!1 He's - he's restin'!!!!!!!1

Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Owl, innit, ay??// Beautiful plumage!!!!!1 :D :D ;)

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:10 am UTC


The plumage doesn't enter into it. It's stone dead.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:11 am UTC

THERE HE MOVED

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:13 am UTC


No, he didn't! And you're not even here so how would you know if he moved?!

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:17 am UTC

I'M TELEPATHETIC DIDN'T YOU KNOW?! HULLOOOO MISTER OWLY WOWLY HOOT HOOT HOOT!!!!!!!1 >O^O

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:18 am UTC


Nope. Nothing.

Now that's what I call a dead owl.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:20 am UTC

NONO!!!!!1 NO 'E'S STUNNED :O!!!!!!!11

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:20 am UTC


Stunned?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:22 am UTC

YEAH!!!!!1 YOU STUNNED HIM JUST AS 'E WAS WAKING UP >:O Norwegian Owls stun easily, Professor >:O >:O

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:24 am UTC


Now look, Arthur, I've definitely had enough of this. That owl is definitely deceased, and I highly doubt that its total lack of movement is due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged hoot.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:26 am UTC

NO WAIT LOOK WELL - he's... he's OH HE'S PROBABLY PINING FOR THE FJORDS!!!!1

lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:28 am UTC

Pining for the fjords? Now what kind of talk is that?

Look, I took the liberty of examining that owl when I got home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been STAPLED there.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:30 am UTC

...

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:32 am UTC

WELL OF COURSE IT WAS BLOODY STAPLED THERE!!!!11 >:O

LOOK, IF I HADN'T STAPLED THAT BIRD DOWN IT WOULD'VE NUZZLED UP TO THEM BARS, BENT THEM APART WITH ITS BEAK AND VOOM!!!!!1

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:34 am UTC


Voom?!

Weasley, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you strapped it to a Firebolt! He's bleeding demised!

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:35 am UTC

NONO 'E'S PINING!!!!!!!!!11 :/

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:43 am UTC

No Arthur, he's NOT pining. He's passed ON. This owl is NO MORE.

He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't STAPLED him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. His metabolic processes are now history. He's off the twig. He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile.

THIS IS AN EX-OWL.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:45 am UTC

... er. WELL! I guess I'd better replace it, then!! :D

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:49 am UTC

Er, sorry, Lupin :/ I've had a quick look round the Burrow and, uh - well unless you want Errol (ABORT, ABORT) we're right out of owls. :/

lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:50 am UTC


I see.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:52 am UTC

I've got a Ron?

lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:53 am UTC

Well, he's hardly a bleeding replacement, is he?!

...

Does he talk?

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 12:56 am UTC

Uh, yeah?

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lupercus @ 2003-04-28 12:59 am UTC


Right, I'll t-

Actually, I think this is getting too silly.

I'm going to bed.

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wehaveseven @ 2003-04-28 01:01 am UTC

Heavens to Betsy, man. With those nails I'm sodding well off, too. o_O

>O^O

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