| lupercus @ 2003-05-01 16:44:00 |
| Current mood: |  embarrassed |
| Current music: | 'Now That I'm a Woman,' The Sweet Transylvanians |
Everything is strange.
Am no longer under the bed. Which is good, because there are dust bunnies the size of dragons under there. Sirius is very convincing and I think he actually doesn't much mind that I am... er...
Right, so I have been turned into a woman. Courtesy of Professor Snape who, if he knows what's good for him, will lay low for a while until I am no longer inclined to strangle him. It's bloody bizarre, though Sirius assures me it could be worse. He also claims that I am "stacked," which I suppose is a good thing except that he now has trouble maintaining eye contact. Twice today I have had to remind him that no, they are not going to answer him, and he'd have better luck addressing me above the neck. Fat lot of good it did, but I suppose that it is a good thing. After all, if he can handle me being a werewolf, I suppose a temporary stint as the opposite sex isn't so bad. At least there's less shedding involved.
Thankfully this is only supposed to last twenty-four hours. Imagine if I had to walk down the proverbial aisle looking like this. What would people say? I mean nothing disrespectful to those born into the gentler sex, but frankly I feel quite freakish at the moment. Like I have been... displaced. Sirius keeps trying to tell me I look fine ("rather lovely," were his words) but I'm not buying it. I feel disproportionate, and my center of gravity is shot all to hell. My legs are too long and my hands too small and for the love of God, my chest is enormous. I can't cross my bloody arms. Do you know how frustrating that is? Not to mention the random emotions. How on earth do you women handle this feeling of... everything at once? It's like a cyclone inside.
Severus, you will pay for this. Mark my words. It's on.
Anyway, I've got to go get things done if I am to meet Narcissa later. Hopefully, she can help me a bit with... It will be nice to have a female point of view on this, at any rate. She's also lending me clothes - let's just hope she remembers to bring a bloody bra.
My back is killing me.
I relented and let Sirius take a picture of me, which he has insisted I use here. I'm no Celestina Warbeck or anything, but... well, I suppose i'm not too bad, really. That doesn't mean I have to like it, though. Or that you're off the hook, Snape.
Comments:
| lupercus @ 2003-05-01 09:35 pm UTC |
Everything is a learning experience, Hermione. If you don't look at life that way, you'll go mad.
How are you doing, by the way? You've been rather scarce.
- Professor Lupin