| missgranger @ 2003-06-24 11:10:00 |
| Current mood: |  angry |
Why?
Things have been an absolute nightmare, if that wasn't already apparent. I just woke up and I don't know how I slept so long but I only wanted to rest my eyes for a minute last night and when I woke up I was in a bed in hospital, which of course worried me a bit. I thought I'd got injuries without realising! You can imagine my worry before I realised what was going on.
Seamus has been an absolute blessing in the hospital wing since they finally moved everyone there. Lisa Turpin and I, I'm afraid, haven't been much help there as of course Professor McGonagall has asked the prefects to keep everyone calm. Hannah Abbott's sister is missing, so it's perfectly understandable and expectable to give her the time off. I've tried to maintain a sense of order and calm to give the other students hope that everything was all right, but I don't know that I can go on that way for much longer. I don't quite see how much longer I can look at Ron and Ginny and tell them to stop worrying when I'm sneaking into the lavatory and crying. I feel like I'm--well, not exactly lying to them, but who am I to pretend they shouldn't be upset?
They cleared the first floor of the North Wing last night and finally had to turn in to get some rest. Today they've started the second floor. There were loads of frightened house-elves in the dungeons, all because they were afraid to go anywhere and disobey. There was a window they could have crawled out of, but they weren't even allowed to. Winky is absolutely hysterical.
I feel so childish sometimes, but I just don't understand why. Why do they always do these things to Harry? Why does everything happen to him? I don't mean to put his safety above everyone else's, but Harry and Ron are my best friends and Harry is missing. Ron has been in such a wretched state. He blames Malfoy, of course, and as soon as Professor Sinistra brought Malfoy and Millicent Bulstrode to the Great Hall, Ron picked a fight before anyone could realise what he was doing. I suppose I'd be lying if I said I didn't blame Malfoy, too. I want to blame him because it's easiest, but I can't help thinking that he had tonnes of opportunities to do something to Harry before.
I just don't understand why Harry can't just exist without someone getting angry at him for it. I'm so worried that by the time the entire North Wing has been cleared, it will turn out Harry isn't in it at all; that he isn't in the castle itself and we will have taken four days to realise that. A lot can happen in four days, of course, but I keep hoping . . . well, I keep hoping that maybe this had nothing to do with Harry at all. No one wants to believe that it had something to do with You-Know-Who, but what else would it be? Those were Death Eaters in the Prophet the other week, and the attack was nearly identical. It's not fair! Oh, why can't they leave us alone?
I hate this. I hate what they're doing to Harry and I hate that he can't have one year in peace without somebody trying to do something to him just for being him. I want to believe they weren't after Harry. The alternatives, however, seem even worse sometimes. If not Harry, then what? Why? And where is he?
I suppose I ought to check on Gryffindor to make sure everyone's quite all right today. So I'll put on my brave face and tell everyone else to do the same, and then we can all feel perfectly miserable.
Comments:
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-24 11:13 am UTC |
Hermione . . . what can I say? If you want to cry, come here; there's certainly plenty of tissues. But don't drive yourself mad trying to be strong for everyone else. Didn't you just tell Prof. Black to rest? Perhaps you should take your own advice and go a little easier on yourself.
You know, and I know, that "why" isn't the right question. It's, "what do we do?"
| missgranger @ 2003-06-24 03:17 pm UTC |
Oh, but I rested last night! I slept for nearly ten hours; it was utterly irresponsible of me, but it's a bit late for that now. I know that why isn't really the question, but the idea of why worries me. There's always a why, and the why is often ten times worse than the what.
(parent)| missgranger @ 2003-06-24 03:10 pm UTC |
How can you say that when you're the one posting his icons so Professor McGonagall remembers what he looks like? I feel as though if something had happened to Harry, we would know.
(parent)| wheresmytoad @ 2003-06-24 11:47 am UTC |
It'll be all right, Hermione. You'll see. Harry's like a cat, he always lands on his feet, just like Crookshanks. I haven't given up hope yet, and I know you haven't either.
| missgranger @ 2003-06-24 03:14 pm UTC |
No, I haven't. . . . I just needed a moment to worry.
(parent)