potions_master in nocturne_alley @ 2002-05-23 18:35:00

Current mood:slightly put out
Current music:Niccolo Paganini: Violin Concerto No. 2 in B minor

A Guidance Counselour Needs to Die
Had a very interesting evening last night. Went to dinner with Lucius. Am admittedly irritated that he seems to be in a vegetarian cuisine only phase. It defies explanation as to why he would want vegetarian beef stew. I think if you admit that you like the taste of meat, and crave the taste of meat, you may as well have the real thing. Who are you really trying to fool?

He is being cagey and has given me the newest "orders". I am to brew some lubricating salve. I must admit that I am sceptical. In fact, I will go so far as to bet my entire supply of unicorn horns and my 15th century bronze cauldron that this salve is for Lucius' personal use. I would not be surprised as he is very cheap and probably is trying to weasel out of buying his own.

One little-known fact about Lucius: he is a knut-pinching miser. When our squad invaded Denmark, Lucius took all the little bottles of alcohol, shampoo and conditioner with him when we checked out of our hotel. If memory serves me right, and it always does, I do believe that he also took the dressing gowns from our rooms we stayed at when we were sent to Prague in the late seventies.

Lucius. I can imagine his weeping pointy face when he purchased those brooms for the Slytherin Quidditch team. I can say without reservation that it was probably at Narcissa's insistence that he do so. Draco can keep hoping to get a Firebolt, but as long as Lucius clutches his purse strings the way a Puritan clutches their buckle shoes, it will never come to be.

So, it was an interesting evening - which I paid for. After dinner, we walked to one of those "massage dens" and found much entertainment there to be had - also something I paid for. I have to admit that I'm rather amused at the fact that I'll have to fill out an expense report for all of this:



What a job. What more can one ask for? I have the dubious honour of instructing very hormonal and acne-ridden adolescents. I have to have every meal while being seated next to Sirius "Sir Martyr" Black. I have to brew an extremely tedious and smelly wolfbane potion to Remus Lupin, the Infinitely Insipid. I have to be subjected to a very badly inked tattoo on my forearm because Voldemort was on a punk rock whimsy. I am forced to attend staff meetings where Albus talks about the joys of socks and lemon drops. I have to watch out for that blasted Harry Potter, who makes it a habit to attempt to get himself killed in a desperate bid to win points for Gryffindor.

What an appealing career this is. Where can I sign up?

And all I learnt last night was the fact that if Voldemort WAS planning to invade England's backside, then at least he planned to "be responsible" while doing so.

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