| missgranger in nocturne_alley @ 2003-06-07 02:20:00 |
A note for Seamus:
Seamus,
I hope you see this - you might like to avoid the library, as Dean is in here. I simply thought you might like to know.
Comments:
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:25 am UTC |
What could you possibly have to say to me? When your drawings were so eloquent? They told me all I needed to know, thanks. Bugger off.
| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 12:28 am UTC |
Seamus, this is silly, we just need to sit down and talk this out..I mean, it was BOOT....it was really STUPID...but I was angry and I wasn't thinking and I'm really really really really REALLY sorry, baby...I really am....so...let's just go back upstairs and figure this out, ok?
(parent)| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 12:30 am UTC |
what do you MEAN I didn't do anything?! I WOKE UP ON THE FLOOR OF THE COMPUTER LAB WITH YOUR LEG IN MY FACE.
(parent)| boot_boy @ 2003-06-07 12:32 am UTC |
Well, yeah. But - and I am only going to say this once - before that we actually TALKED and you had some THINGS to say to Seamus. SAY THEM. I'm saying this as a friend.
(parent)| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:32 am UTC |
Get the fuck out of here, Boot, or I will kick your head in. Don't think I won't.
(parent)| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:31 am UTC |
This is silly?
What is silly is my boyfriend deciding that it's perfectly fine for him to stay out all night with his friends, but if I spend a total of FOUR HOURS on two afternoons with someone--someone that I'm not actually friends with, by the way--then hey, I'm cheating? After I posted to say that nothing was happening?
What do I have to do, Dean? What do you want from me? Because I'm at a loss, here.
| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 12:36 am UTC |
It didn't mean anything. nothing really happened. it was just stupid. I'm sorry. OK?
now let's go to bed and sleep this off...
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:38 am UTC |
Like fun I'm getting into any bed with you any time this century.
I don't care what happened. You go off with him, you get drunk or stoned or whatever, and you do stupid shit, and it happens over and over, and I never say anything. Ever.
I talk about decorating for one afternoon, and I'm the bad guy? No.
| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 12:45 am UTC |
...
this is not about malfoy. I mean...it IS, but....I was angry last night because of him, but that's not the only...
...
you know, seamus, if you want to make this about who we do or don't hang out with, that's fine. but it's not. I've been trying to talk to you about this for months, you just don't want to hear it.
| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 12:56 am UTC |
You know, Seamus, you've been my best friend forever. We met on the Hogwarts Express and we've been joined at the hip ever since. I barely remember a time when you weren't in my life. Hell, you ARE my life. You've defined so much of who I am. You were the one who helped me make sense of myself...You helped me come out. And you've stuck by me ever since. You loved me and took care of me and were everything I could ask for. In a way, I wouldn't know who I was without you.
But that's the problem.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:57 am UTC |
I see. I've been a great friend, good to you, and that's what's wrong? So you'd like me better if I'd been a prick to you? Because I can do that. Especially now.
(parent)| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 01:04 am UTC |
MY WHOLE LIFE IS YOU, SEAMUS. I feel like...like I'm under a warm, fuzzy, blanket and its smothering me. I can't deal with this...you're the same as you always were, Shay, but I feel like a completely different person than I was six months ago. I don't know if I want that person to be so tied up in someone else. If you're going to hate me for that, fine.....but...
I hope you don't.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 01:10 am UTC |
I'm sorry Dean, but WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?
Okay, you want to go out into the cold world alone? See what it's like? Go then. Go get drunk with Terry and fuck god knows who, and have a great time discovering yourself.
But this time, I won't be here when you get back. I'm tired of tying myself up in knots for you. I'm tired of making giant posts about how I feel about you and getting in return, love you shay. I'm tired of being endlessly understanding. I'm tired of being satisfied with whatever you want to give me. Maybe this is best. Maybe I'll find someone who isn't ashamed of me and isn't afraid to love me. Because I deserve that.
You're lucky, because I don't think I could ever hate you. But I'm really glad it's nearly end of term, because I don't think I want to be your friend. Not for a while, anyway.
| deanthomas @ 2003-06-07 01:16 am UTC |
All right then.
...
I don't want you to have to stay out of the dorm because of me. I am going to sleep in the Ravenclaw common room.
Owl me when it's ok for me to come and get the rest of my things.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 01:18 am UTC |
I'm off to Dogear Wyrde in the morning and I plan on staying there until Sunday night. You can come any time after 8am Saturday.
Happy Birthday, Dean.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:33 am UTC |
Yeah, I do. I just, I don't know. I don't see how. But thanks.
(parent)| lupercus @ 2003-06-07 12:36 am UTC |
The trick of it is not to think about it too much.
Whatever you do, Seamus, trust your instinct. Sometimes your instinct knows more than you do.
Take it from a werewolf.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 12:43 am UTC |
I just don't want to, you know, do anything stupid, but I can't . . .
Does that invitation still stand? Because I might need it after all.
| lupercus @ 2003-06-07 12:46 am UTC |
I think anything stupid that could be done has already been, dear.
The invitation stands, of course.
You can do this, Seamus. You need to.
| seamus_f @ 2003-06-07 01:19 am UTC |
Well, I suppose I did it. Doesn't feel that great, though.
I'll be there first thing in the morning. And, thanks, Professor.