jadedsirius in nocturne

REMUS
After spending the night in the garden as Padfoot, I've come to some conclusions.

1, I'm too old for this.

2, Remus... I love you with all my heart.

3, I was just talking to him.

4, I'm sorry I'm not the man you expect me to be.

5, I don't know if I ever can be.

6, I'm deeply sorry I have hurt you, now or in the past.

7, Smoke all you want, it's really not my place to complain, and I apologise for doing so.

8, Screw the list.

Remus... I'm writing this because I don't know if you even will talk to me face to face, and I can't trust my temper if we do. I'm not making excuses for my behaviour. I am merely stating facts. You knew what I was like before Azkaban, and could you really have thought it would improve me?

But this is pointless. I'm sore and cold and I'm sure you're no better.

I'm coming to find you, Remus.

Then, I have to apologise to Harry.

I hate parties.

erniemacmillan @ 2003-08-03 03:33 pm UTC

I hate them too, Professor!!

lupercus @ 2003-08-03 04:37 pm UTC

You know that I love you.

I just can't allow you to disregard my feelings anymore. It's a simple request, Sirius, that you not have anything further to do with Lucius Malfoy. You don't have to stop flirting with other people, I know it's your nature. I know that you know that your place is at home, with me, at the end of the day. I'm not trying to change you, or turn you into someone that you are not. It's just this one thing, the only thing I've ever asked you for, and you just can't - or won't - do it. I don't understand. Why do you put a piece of filth like him before me, and Harry? Why do you continually do these things that you know upset me?

Why do you try so hard to make me hate you? Don't you understand that I never will?

I am in the guest house. Harry's here, and we are playing Exploding Snap. You ought to come and join us.

We will talk later.