| potterstinks in nocturne_alley @ 2003-10-27 07:12:00 |
| Current mood: | enraged |
WHEN I WENT TO GET DRESSED THIS MORNING, I DISCOVERED THAT ALL OF MY SOCKS WERE ABSENT FROM THEIR DRAWER. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF MY SOCKS IS IN THIS DORMITORY. I HAD SOCKS AT THE FOOT OF MY BED, BENEATH THE DUVET, AND THEY'RE QUITE GONE. I HAD SOCKS IN MY TRUNK. I HAD SOCKS ON MY NIGHT TABLE. ALL ARE MISSING. I NO LONGER HAVE THE SOCKS THAT I WORE TO BED LAST NIGHT. WHEN I FIND THE CULPRITS WHO HAVE DONE THIS, YOU CAN BE QUITE SURE YOU'LL BE EXPELLED.
Father, I think you ought to know that someone has stolen all of my socks under the negligent eye of Hogwarts' staff. A Malfoy cannot be expected to go sockless. This is an absolute outrage.
I'LL BE MAKING INQUISITIONS TODAY. IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY SOCKS TO HIDE, DON'T EXPECT THAT I WON'T FIND THEM.
Comments:
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:19 am UTC |
I shall send you a lot of socks posthaste. Do speak to Professor Snape about this theft.
Mother
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:22 am UTC |
Mother,
No one took any of Crabbe's or Goyle's or Smith's socks. I've been solely targeted in this petty theft, and I feel I have every right to complain directly to the Minister of Magic. What is his home address on the Floo Network?
Your pride and joy,
Draco.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:26 am UTC |
Draco,
Your socks are the only ones that have gone missing? It sounds as though someone or someones are indeed lashing out against you because you are a Malfoy. This siutation needs to be remedied as quickly as possible. I shall send you an owl now with the Minister's home address on the Floo Network, although I should warn you that Your Father has always found him to be rather unhospitable in the morning until he has had his fill of scones and clotted cream.
Concerned,
Mother
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:29 am UTC |
I don't particularly care how hospitable he feels. I'll have a firechat with him immediately, and he'll have to see to it that my socks are returned. I could develop a callous.
Outraged,
Draco.
| perfectprefect @ 2003-10-27 05:33 am UTC |
You cannot possibly have a firechat with the Minister this morning. He is quite busy today and as someone who is presently on his staff I must inform you that you will need to make an appointment if you wish to speak with Minister Fudge.
Firmly,
Percy Weasley
| sinistra @ 2003-10-27 05:36 am UTC |
Surely, Mr Weasley, the Minister will be greatly concerned about Mr Malfoy's socks.
Certain,
Professor Sinistra
| perfectprefect @ 2003-10-27 05:47 am UTC |
This is highly unlikely, Professor. The Minister has far more important things on his mind. I am afraid that you are incorrect.
Apologetically,
Percy Weasley
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:43 am UTC |
My Father is an acquaintance of the Minister's. He will, of course, make time for me. Keep out of it, working class.
(parent)| wehaveseven @ 2003-10-28 05:09 am UTC |
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
In good humour,
Arthur Weasley.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:35 am UTC |
Draco,
In case he is unable to locate your socks, I have taken the liberty of sending Your Father's best owl with a parcel only moments ago. They shall arrive shortly and I do hope that they are acceptable. I would not wish for you to develop a callous as, not only are they (so I hear) painful and very unsightly, they would chafe the inside of all your lovely pairs of Italian leather shoes.
Love,
Mother
| sinistra @ 2003-10-27 05:37 am UTC |
In case he is unable to locate your socks
Hahahahahahhahaa.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:40 am UTC |
Although I cannot possibly expect you to understand, one must appease and comfort their children when they are distraught.
Narcissa Peltier Malfoy
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:42 am UTC |
Mother,
Please alert Father of my present condition. I shall begin interviewing students after breakfast. I may have to miss lessons today, but it is a sacrifice that must be made.
Your favourite son,
Draco.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:48 am UTC |
Draco,
I shall go wake Your Father immediately and alert him to this travesty. Waiting until after breakfast to inquire after your students is very wise. You do not want to begin such strenuous work without having had sufficient nutrition first! If you feel that you must miss a class or two in order to discover the whereabouts of your socks, then such a sacrifice shall be made. Socks, after all, tie one's outfit together. Without socks or a foot covering of some sort, one's entire balance would be thrown completely off-centre for the day!
Love,
Mother
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:51 am UTC |
Mother,
You are, of course, quite right. Fortunately, I do have a pair of loafers that are about six months old. I'd been planning to throw them in the dustbin due to their age, but since I've not yet got around to it, they'll do acceptably to wear without socks.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 05:54 am UTC |
Draco,
Do not be so modest. I am quite sure that those worn loafers were kept by you for emergencies just like this one. You are my clever boy, after all. Be sure to visit Madam Pomfrey after wearing them for an extended period of time for a potion or jelly that will ward off any possible skin afflictions.
Love,
Mother
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:59 am UTC |
Mother,
You're right, of course. That is quite why I'd kept them around. My modesty is often overwhelming.
| blondenarcissa @ 2003-10-27 06:03 am UTC |
Draco,
Such modesty does run in the family.
Do keep me informed. I shall go wake Your Father now.
Love,
Mother
| turpinol @ 2003-10-27 05:24 am UTC |
...
All right, Malfoy, if you've had a theft I'll help you. When did you last see your socks?
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:25 am UTC |
Well, I took them out for supper last night and I assumed they had a good time, so I'm certain they've not run away. THEY'RE SOCKS, TURPIN. I WAS WEARING THEM LAST NIGHT. Oh, and in case you've been confused, I was only wearing one pair. I don't wear all of my socks at once, you see.
(parent)| turpinol @ 2003-10-27 05:27 am UTC |
Well, how do you know the socks in your trunk weren't taken before now? Maybe they took all of your socks last night and took the last pair this morning. I'll come search your dormitory now.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:31 am UTC |
I'll not be having you in my dormitory. You're not even a Slytherin. You could, of course, send the Head Boy, but - oh, wait. He hasn't bothered revealing himself to you. I've already ransacked the entire dormitory. It's not as though I simply woke up and said, 'Oh, bother. I've got no socks. Well, I certainly won't look throughout the rest of the dormitory as I know that the others are far too kind hearted and intelligent to steal my innocent socks.' Clearly I checked the others' belongings.
How, for that matter, do I know you didn't take my socks?
| turpinol @ 2003-10-27 05:40 am UTC |
Fine, Malfoy. You're right. I took your socks. I tiptoed into your dorm last night and stole your socks because, God, I just couldn't help it.
Do you want help looking for your socks or not? I'm obligated to help you anyway, so you really don't have a lot of choice here.
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-27 05:44 am UTC |
You've not any authority to help me. You're only Head Girl. Head Girl has far less authority than Head Boy, and I can do a far better job quite on my own.
(parent)| scotchtartan @ 2003-10-27 06:03 am UTC |
Malfoy! Two points from Slytherin, and I assure you that the Head Girl does indeed have quite as much authority as the Head Boy. Do not make the same mistake again.
Professor M. McGonagall
| la_pensee @ 2003-10-27 07:51 am UTC |
Oh, Draco darling. How terrible! This is a tragedy. Your feet must be terribly cold with the progressively chilling weather. I do hope they find the culprit quickly and punish him accordingly.
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-29 02:43 am UTC |
My feet will soon be utterly destroyed. Heaven forbid it rains.
(parent)| sibyllsays @ 2003-10-27 03:54 pm UTC |
I Foresee that your socks will reappear right where you left them, Mr. Malfoy!!!!
| purestblood @ 2003-10-27 06:21 pm UTC |
Draco,
You may rest assured that I, and the Minister, will be investigating this incident immediately and we will discover the culprit. Your mother has sent you a package; it will have to do until we solve this mystery.
Your Father
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-29 02:45 am UTC |
Father,
It would appear that someone intercepted my parcel from Mother, as it arrived opened and without any socks.
Your antagonised son,
Draco.
| purestblood @ 2003-10-29 11:08 pm UTC |
I or your mother, or perhaps Gunther, will be delivering socks to you in person shortly.
Your Father
| seamus_f @ 2003-10-27 08:17 pm UTC |
Perhaps a nice Italian sandal? After all, the palace can be rather warm.
Only, then you'd need a pedicure. Ah, the details.
| potterstinks @ 2003-10-29 02:44 am UTC |
I am not going to wear sandals. Evidently you don't spend much time in the dungeons.
(parent)| seamus_f @ 2003-10-29 06:12 am UTC |
Come to think of it, no I don't, since I am not in your house.
Slippers lined with sheepskin then?