| potions_master in nocturne_alley @ 2004-02-12 18:39:00 |
| Current mood: | unapologetic |
Not a public apology.
This is becoming rather tiresome. I simply cannot believe that every time I perform a good deed for Sirius Black, I am required to apologise for it. After all, it is well known that Black's Animagus form is that of a dog of obscure pedigree, and every dog needs someone to look after its hygeine and care.
Therefore, regardless of what Dumbledore or anyone else says on the matter, I cannot really apologise for transfiguring Black's chair at the high table into a wooden tub during lunch, nor for the flea-dip and grooming session that followed, courtesy of some enchanted brushes, scissors, and other accoutrements. It is true that he was not actually in his Animagus form at the time, but that could not be helped, as I think a key element to any good deed is the element of surprise, and to warn him would have been to ruin the entire thing. I also think the curls and ribbons in his hair are quite fetching, and of course his finger- and toenails needed a good trim.
He will thank me for it some day.
However, I firmly believe he should thank me for the following right now. Inspired by the day's events, and in fact by the goodwill engendered in me by this entire week of miracles and joy, I have written a poem in Black's honour.
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Sirius Black
By Professor Severus L.S.A. Snape
I.
From a great distance,
if you
Really must.
II.
The Continent is littered with broken hearts.
Is it because Sirius Black went away?
No. Why
did he have to come
In the first place?
III.
Sirius Black
Would have done very well
as a fallen soldier.
One can only hope.
IV.
Indecisive, foolish, immature, and noisome.
So inadequate to describe him, and yet so fitting too --
the dichotomy of language.
V.
A man and a man are one.
A man and Sirius Black
Are one with venereal disease.
VI.
Many people want him dead.
VII.
I caught him propositioning a Ravenclaw
the day after he proclaimed his all-enduring love
For Remus Lupin the first time.
VIII.
Drip, drip, drip.
The melting of snowflakes
or Chinese water torture?
Black's girlish screams tell all.
IX.
Leather trousers
Were never in style.
Never.
X.
He stole a cannabis plant from the Herbology greenhouse
In his sixth year
And smoked it
And threw up all over Peter Pettigrew's lap as a consequence
Truly, a great man
And it is he you may thank
That Professor Sprout no longer stocks cannabis in greenhouses.
XI.
The best his own lover can say about him
is "Good dog." I think
That tells us something, don't you?
XII.
The fleas are hopping.
Black must be scratching.
XIII.
Sirius Black did us all a favour
And emigrated
To Antarctica
Without a coat.
This entry will also serve quite well to let you all know that, as per the headmaster's orders, Black and I have not been permitted to draw up our own lesson plan, as the other teaching teams did. Instead, we are to end the week on "lessons in trust," and we are to teach all of you something called "trust exercises."
The lesson begins at eight-thirty sharp in the potions classroom. Sixth and seventh years will have their lesson first. Do not be late.
Comments:
| jadedsirius @ 2004-02-12 06:52 pm UTC |
Ah, Snape, the world may have gained another mediocre schoolmaster when you signed on to Hogwarts, but it lost a poet of power and resonance. It is the world's terrible, terrible loss.
I hope you sleep well tonight.
Oh, and you know, I kind of liked the curls too. It's kind of fun to dress up every now and then.
| potions_master @ 2004-02-12 06:57 pm UTC Re: |
Why, thank you, Black. I'm glad you could appreciate it. You sound remarkably cheerful, I must say; perhaps you had one of Parkinson's biscuits? Or did she make a special doggy treat just for you?
(parent)| jadedsirius @ 2004-02-12 07:04 pm UTC Re: |
No, no biscuits. I prefer the ones Remus gets, really.
| missgranger @ 2004-02-12 08:20 pm UTC |
If you don't mind my commenting on it, Professor, I think your poem is really somewhat funny.
| potions_master @ 2004-02-12 08:45 pm UTC Re: |
I cannot blame you, Granger, as Black really is something of a joke.
(parent)| lupercus @ 2004-02-12 09:05 pm UTC |
II.
I caught him propositioning a Ravenclaw
the day after he proclaimed his all-enduring love
For Remus Lupin the first time.
She was such a nice girl.
| potterstinks @ 2004-02-12 10:16 pm UTC |
I don't particularly like poetry, Professor, but yours was quite good.
| potions_master @ 2004-02-13 07:33 am UTC Re: |
THANK YOU MALFOY, BUT I AM AFRAID THERE IS NO TIME, I MUST FIND PROFESSOR BLACK AT ONCE.
(parent)