potions_master in nocturne_alley: Retribution with Eating Utensils

Retribution with Eating Utensils
First, a retort:

According to Lupin's entry regarding the partaking of spirits during a school function. Yes, he did reference the universal guide that is The Little (but really big (tm)) Book of Manditory Teacher Rules and Regulations (Written by T. Whistcherspell, M. McFadden, Z. Goodhawk and T. Tim) that quotes:

Failure to conform to this(these) rule(rules) results in punishment from the Headmaster, and may include but is not restricted to; [cut to preserve space]

Snape, Hooch and Sinistra.. I believe the Headmaster will be wanting to see you, soon.

Tsk tsk, Lupin. May I reference said book, Appendix D, Page 1306, Section 12, Paragraph 7:

Of course, before all you rush off to bring any litigation against the Ministry of Education, please note that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has its own charter that it follows. This book is merely a guide for the educational institutions on The Continent.

It's all in the details, Lupin. Details.

In other news, Black and I have reached new heights in our hostilities. Black can say what he likes, but the truth of the matter is this: he is an idiot. Throughout this entire week, he's been underfoot. I can't turn a corner without having to be on my guard. He is reverting to childhood, I know it. He actually tried the banana peel on the floor trick. He may need psychiatric help. That prank NEVER works.

As for his accusation that I'm the psychopath, does he really need reminding of that deadly prank from when we were children? But if Sir Martyr is the one playing the prank, then it's all in harmless fun, isn't it? I hate to repeat what I've said earlier, but I will anyway.

Albus: Now Sirius, you do realize that this is a grave matter.
Sirius Black: Oh Headmaster, I certainly didn't mean to harm Snape, here.
Me: *in shell shock*
Sirius Black: It was all in good fun, I certainly didn't intend for it to go quite as far as it did.
Albus: *cheerful* Oh, if that's the case, then no harm done! Lemon drop?

And as for dinner this evening. Black had the nerve to *cough* TRIP *cough* while he had a platter full of spaghetti. Guess where it ended up. In my lap. It was very hot. I was most displeased. So, in my instantaneous reaction, I grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be an ordinary fork, and I stabbed Black's thigh.

So then he spills MORE, effectively ruining my trousers. So, I stabbed him with a fork, harder this time hoping that perhaps in his canine brain, he'd also be trained like Pavlov's dog. Do this, and get stabbed. Does Black learn? No. He turns around and overturns his pumpkins juice over my head. I stabbed him again. Fiercely enough to penetrate those damned pleather trousers that he insists are real leather, but nobody is fooled. I was about to abandon the fork altogether to grab a spoon. Why a spoon, you ask? Because it would hurt more. Then that's when Albus saw fit to separate us.

And you know what he did? He sent us to our rooms. Imagine that. Once again, Sir Martyr is protected. He'll get his. I am absolutely furious. However, the night wasn't completely wasted. On my way out of the great hall, I saw that Harry Potter had served himself a massive amount of boiled potatoes and had only eaten a portion of it. He had pushed the plate away and was about to leave.

Well, we can't have students wasting food like that. Of course he had to be punished. Seamus Finnegan will be thinking of Mr. Potter when he's made to scrub the floors of the Owlery on Tuesday.

Detention List:
~~Hermione Granger~~
~~Ron Weasley~~
~~Lavender Brown~~
~~Parvati Patil~~
~~Neville Longbottom~~
~~Seamus Finnigan~~
Dean Thomas
Ginny Weasley
Colin Creevey
The rest of Gryffindor
Hufflepuff House
Ravenclaw House

lupercus @ 2002-06-23 10:16 pm UTC

Of course, before all you rush off to bring any litigation against the Ministry of Education, please note that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has its own charter that it follows. This book is merely a guide for the educational institutions on The Continent.

Snape-

You obviously have an outdated copy, probably the 1996 version, printed by Doublin and CO (paperback, am I right?) Please, consider taking up the newly revised hardbound edition; remember the Ministry's act to submit Hogwarts to all the rules/functions in the manual? Fudge must have a particular vendetta, but besides that.

It's all in the studiousness, Snape.

Lupin

potions_master @ 2002-06-23 10:23 pm UTC

Lupin -

I have the 1997 version, second updated of the book, this year's I might add. Actually, if you had been following the political section of the paper, you'd know that legislation regarding public education institutional policies are currently on the table as they are being argued for and against by interest group lobbyists.

Once again, Lupin, don't presume to point out the rules of the school to me. If in fact, I was caught in a compromising position, at least I went off campus for that. I don't believe I can say the same for you.

(parent)

lupercus @ 2002-06-23 10:38 pm UTC

Snape-

It was Hooch.

Lupin

(parent)

jadedsirius @ 2002-06-24 10:35 am UTC

Really, Snape, you always did have an overactive imagination, but this is ridiculous. To say that I did anything more than accidentally soil your already-grubby robes smacks of paranoia. Of course, a person as vindictive as yourself would probably be well-versed in the effects of extreme paranoia, wouldn't they? I'm sure you can twist the most innocent of circumstances around to make it seem like you are the victim. And you call me a martyr...

~Sirius