| lupercus in nocturne_alley @ 2002-08-10 22:00:00 |
| Current mood: | fleabitten |
| Current music: | 'Golden Years,' David Bowie |
scratchscratchscratchitchscratchnibblescratchBITE
Oh, honestly.
As if monthly transformations weren't enough, now I've got a new problem: fleas.
(Stop laughing, Padfoot, or I will lift my leg on your motorbike when you're not looking.)
It's really quite serious. (I mean it, stop your sniggering.) On the morning after the full moon I awoke on my office floor to a most horrible itching sensation. My rooms seem to be infested with the little beasts; I suspect they came in off the Puffskeins I brought in for the first-years. Dratted little buggers. I think I shall keep them for werewolf snacks.
At any rate, the result was the immediate fumigation of my quarters, followed by a rather mortifying situation involving Madame Pomfrey and a bottle of Furski's Fabulous Flea-Dip, which smells mysteriously like cats' urine. I'll never look the woman in the eye again.
As a result, I've spent the last week or so in quarantine, and for those of you not 'fortunate' enough to be an Animagus or a Magical Creature, let me tell you that being locked up for six days smelling of cats' urine is absolute hell on someone with a heightened sense of smell.
Sirius, I'd warn you to keep your distance for a bit, but seeing as you're probably still laughing, I really needn't bother. Hmph.
(And I still itch. Stupid bloody buggery bastard fleas...)
Anyway, while I was incarcerated I had a look through my previous journal entries and I have come to a very important conclusion:
I am a boring old sod.
Sirius, why didn't you tell me?
Nevertheless, I think the extended (and involuntary, dash it all) holiday had a positive effect on me. I feel almost as if I'm an entirely new person.
Curious, that.t
Comments:
| jadedsirius @ 2002-08-10 11:49 pm UTC |
Remus! You're not boring at all. And I'm not laughing at you. Much.
Could I interest you in a bath? A regular one? To get rid of the smell, of course...
~Sirius
| lupercus @ 2002-08-11 12:17 am UTC |
No, actually, you're right. I'm not boring, I'm "the personification of a sedative." Cheers to Severus for always being so articulate in his insults. No wonder my pupils kept dozing off in class; I damn near set poor Miss Weasley on fire once, when I poked her with my wand to wake her up during a lecture on Bundimuns.
As for the bath, I'm afraid I'm not allowed near water for at least another few days. Madame Pomfrey's given me a good dousing of flea powder, which seems to be working to keep the buggers away as much as it works to make me sneeze.
How are those anger-management sessions going? Killed each other, yet?s
| jadedsirius @ 2002-08-11 12:24 am UTC |
Snape is as infuriating as ever, you know that. And Dumbledore won't let me kill him, alas.
A massage then? I've really missed you...
~Sirius
| lupercus @ 2002-08-11 12:56 am UTC |
Well, if you don't mind the perpetual cloud of dust I seem to travel in these days, then a massage would be lovely. Just let me finish up marking these essays . . .
How is the new motorbike working out?
Actually, sod the massage. Just give me a good scratching, before I eat someone. Arrrgh.t
| jadedsirius @ 2002-08-11 12:59 am UTC |
I'll be glad to scratch any itch you might have, Remus. Shall I pop over?
And I could show you the new motorbike in person...
~Sirius
| lupercus @ 2002-08-11 01:02 am UTC |
Honestly, Sirius, do you ever think about anything else? I can't tell if it's you, or if perhaps you picked up the more randier aspects of the canine psyche. You're too good an Animagus, my friend.
You might as well come over, though I don't know why I'm telling you since I can already hear the familiar sound of claws clicking against the stone floor outside my rooms. Though if you scratch to be let in, I'll-
...
Git.
| potions_master @ 2002-08-11 02:20 am UTC |
Sirius, why didn't you tell me?
Why didn't he tell you you were about as exciting as a pair of wet socks? I can't begin to guess that one. Was he conscious at the time? Because I know that if I were you, I would take hints from the random narcoleptic fits as a sign that perhaps I needed to spruce up my conversational topics.
Perhaps that's just me.
-SS
| lupercus @ 2002-08-11 10:11 am UTC |
I suspect even wet socks held more entertainment value than I did. However, I thank you, Severus, for your always refreshing candor. Would that I could count on Sirius to clue me in that I was a crashing bore, but I'm afraid I prefer your particularly prickly brand of honesty.
I hope you're well after the Lantern Festival debacle. Tsk. After what happened at the 1975 Beech Ball I would have thought you might have learnt some restraint with regard to spirits. I hope I didn't miss another enlightening demonstration of your tango skills. That would be quite disappointing.
| potions_master @ 2002-08-12 03:12 am UTC |
Mock if you will, Lupin. The truth of the matter is that I am very accomplished at executing the perfect tango. Do not laugh at those who are fortunate to have natural rhythm, and do not blame me for your four left paws.
-SS
| lupercus @ 2002-08-12 12:29 pm UTC |
I don't believe I was mocking your tango skills, Severus. I don't know of many people who can manage to look both malevolent and distinguished stomping about with a rose clenched in their teeth. Even the Headmaster's rhumba cannot hold a candle.
Must you be so paranoid, Professor, when one only wishes to pay you a compliment? Those so-called 'anger-management' sessions don't seem to be working as well as I'd hoped.
Perhaps then, more drastic measures may, indeed, be in order. Hmm...
| lupercus @ 2002-08-12 05:22 pm UTC |
Breathe, Sirius, or else your eye is going to twitch right out of your head.
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