onourbrooms @ 2002-09-17 17:58:00

Hogwarts' potions master has a few skeletons in his closet, as well. Ones completely unrelated to frilly aprons and very tastefully applied lipstick.

You see, before Severus started practicing perfecting his rather intimidating smirk on small children became a professor at Hogwarts, he went through a series of interesting life experiences.

He flirted with body modification for a while, at one point piercing his mouth entirely shut. (A pity he didn't leave the jewelry in, really.) He claimed he had to sacrifice himself to "the Dark Master" and enlisted the help of a chartreuse-tressed Lucius Malfoy in the following:



Tragically, His Dark Master chewed him up and spat him out, but our ever-stalwart Severus picked himself up and moved on to a dungeon-based profession. This sort of dungeon didn't quite have the desks and books that Hogwarts does. It seems the stint in the skirt impacted Severus a great deal.



(Yes, I can hear you slobbering.)

I could go on (the impressive shrub-like cultivation of facial hair; the weight gain, the reinforced vinyl getups, and subsequent admission to the Big and Beautiful Goth Babes Affiliation...) but why bother? It is quite clear that Severus has no room to be pointing fingers regarding dignity or lack thereof.

Comments:

purestblood @ 2002-09-17 10:41 pm UTC

My hair was never chartreuse. With all the absinthe you've imbibed, I see you've forgotten what Slytherin green looks like. I suggest a field trip down the dungeons. Re-discover your roots.

Too late. They're already showing.

Lucius