perfectprefect: No subject.

I came home two days ago to find an older witch waiting in my flat. Promptly, she instructed me to come with her. I must admit to being slightly frightened; her tone was so minatory that I feared I was being arrested for reasons unknown. I followed her to a hall in Durham, where I was introduced to a myriad of persons who all seemed quite eager to see me. This I found to be odd, since I had never met them prior, but I was quite game to find out what was going on; I was to discover soon enough. I was, in fact, at a meeting for alcoholics. It would appear that my brothers, George and Frederick, thought it was amusing to enroll me into a drinking programme without my knowledge.

As you may have guessed by now, I was overcome to discover where I was. I informed them that I do not have a drinking problem, which I assure you is quite true. I have only had wine with dinner on a few occasions, and aside from a slight mishap with cooking sherry last week, I have not drank otherwise in my life. Unfortunately, when I insisted I did not have a problem, much to my surprise they offered condolences instead of recognising their mistake! They commiserated with me; they said that they, too, had felt they had no problem. It turned out that they thought that I was in denial.

That was quite a predicament, I can tell you. You cannot escape a meeting for alcoholics by simply telling them that you are not, in fact, an alcoholic. I was forced to sit through the entire meeting and was then given various fire addresses to contact in case I needed someone to talk to. It is not, of course, that I found these persons to be unpleasant; on the contrary, the majority of them were quite healthy, normal people. However, as a worker of the Ministry of Magic, this sort of thing simply is not on. I cannot have my coworkers discovering that I have been enrolled in a drinking programme.

I shall attempt to forego my next meeting, which is this Friday evening. I have an important appointment that I simply cannot cancel, so I can only hope that they will assume I have stopped drinking and thus no longer need to attend any meetings. I would be willing to testify under veritaserum.

This has been an exciting week at the Ministry of Magic. We have had some difficulty with Mundungus Fletcher. He has always been a slippery weasel, but I do believe I may have talked some sense into him. I had a long conversation with him about the rights and wrongs of his business, and he was quite attentive. I do believe I lost my watch at the time, so I may have to find him and ask if he has seen it. He is a charming man, I suppose, in his own way!

Alas! I must adjourn. Ronald and his friend Draco Malfoy have reached the computer in their path of destruction. I do not quite understand why they have spent the past thirty minutes in such a violent manner. It is simply not necessary to dump flour over one's head in order to communicate.