potions_master @ 2002-06-14 01:01:00

Current mood:aggravated
Current music:Bach, English Suite No. 2 in A Minor, BWV 807

Of Human Stupidity
In perusing over several days worth of journal entries, I happened upon Percy Weasley's book review. I would like to point out that I'm Okay, You're Okay: A Mutually Beneficial Relationship Between Cauldron and Wand by Gahnifer Anibelea is a very interesting read. It is practically required if you plan to pursue a career in the potions industry.

I am certain that there are many who would believe that potions making is a skill that anyone can do, including muggles. However, this is a fallacy. The person making the potion must be at least nominally gifted as a wizard or witch, otherwise they would end up with a very interesting, if completely inedible, soup. There are also many potions that require a magical signature in order to set properly. Of course, these particular potions are not standard learning material, and in fact are the exclusive domain of academia.

I would also like to stress the absolute importance of standardizing the thickness of cauldrons. Potions will remain a required subject in the far foreseeable future, so we must ensure that standards are maintained. I will never forget the time back in my seventh year that MacNair decided to skimp on the cauldron, opting to buy one that was cheaply manufactured from a third world country. This was, of course just after the WWFTA (wizarding world free trade agreement) passed in Parliament.

Our assignment was to brew a simple post-surgical incision sealer potion. Due to the inferior materials and the flimsiness of MacNair's cauldron (the cauldron of course, turned out to be made from silver plated aluminum instead of silver-plated copper), the mercury extract had a VERY counterproductive chemical reaction with aluminum which caused the potion to develop into something else entirely.

Of course, this "something else entirely" overboiled and ran over the sides onto the table and subsequently all over MacNair himself. What were the reactions? The skin immediately absorbed the mis-potion and, as a result, the "free radical" agent raced through MacNair's bloodstream and destroyed the majority of his sperm count.

The thought makes me shudder to this day. And there is the reason why MacNair never married and why he still pretends that executing magical creatures is a worthwhile career. The funny thing about it all - MacNair skimped on the cauldron so that he could save the two sickles required to purchase the latest line of Real Witch Exotic Lifelike Figurines. Oh, we all had a good crack at that one in the Slytherin common room that evening. It's still a memory that we all like to revisit whenever we gather for one thing or another.

Lucius always said that sometimes, other people's humiliation makes for some very nostalgic memories. I'm inclined to agree.

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