| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 17:09:00 |
| Current mood: | enraged |
Oranges, grapefruits, cantaloupes and grapes.
As I was contemplating the Pureblooded witches of Hogwarts, eventually I came to Governess Weasley. As hard as it is to believe, the Weasleys are still Purebloods, no matter how often they try to besmirch the very idea of being Pureblooded. Fortunately I find redheads to be absolutely revolting. I can't imagine why anyone would be attracted to pasty skin and freckles, but I suppose some just can't have standards when they're so below standard themselves. Aside from that, the Weaselette looks as though someone dropped two lumps of dough down her robes in a half-hearted attempt to mould them into breasts. I imagine she hasn't even begun wearing undergarments yet--as I doubt they come in size 'Mosquito Bite'--which would explain why half of the time I see her she looks as though she's either freakishly cold or trying to help the blind kid in Ravenclaw learn Braille through fondling. And since it's known that the Weasleys are natural redheads, I can only imagine how ghastly the sight would be once someone finally managed to get into her knickers. Red hair is frightening enough on its own, but when coming in the form of damp curls it could only be my worst nightmare.
Millicent has definitely moved onto bras during the course of puberty, but they do say that more than a handful is a waste, particularly when one is threatened with suffocating to death at the mere idea of having their head trapped between two pendulous sacks of lead. Honestly, if Millicent doesn't get some better support soon, all she'll need to do to be written up for indecent exposure is lift the hem of her robes an inch off the ground. I imagine if someone were trying to curse her and aim for her heart two inches below her breast, they'd end up cursing her right in the kneecap.
A good pair of breasts is severely underrated, since no one seems to have noticed the whole of Hogwarts features only in the categories 'invisible' and 'gargantuan.' Of course, Pansy's breasts (a lovely photo, if I do say so myself) seem to break the redundancy by managing to be of healthy size and alluring shape. Not small, but large enough, and not so large that they still remain firm yet upright, unlike some. And of course Pansy, unlike most, dresses to accentuate her curves, and they're curves that haven't turned to sausage links, unlike others. Also, Pansy, as far as I know, is not a redhead.
The options are many, but I feel my choice shall be the right one.
Comments:
| jadedsirius @ 2003-03-25 05:27 pm UTC |
Mr Malfoy, I do wish you'd learn to use the cut tag in future. Remus read your journal entry and is now curled up in the corner, whimpering. I had to restrain him from clawing his eyes out. Please do keep such musings to yourself from now on.
~Sirius
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 06:47 pm UTC |
Turnabout does call for fair play, don't you think, Professor?
(parent)| jadedsirius @ 2003-03-25 08:47 pm UTC |
Don't threaten me, little ferret. I have so far been very discreet for your delicate sensibilities. However, I think you doth protest too much, and I think you're trying to convince us all you're something you're not. Takes one to know one and all that.
I'm prepared to go into quite a bit of detail if you so wish.
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 09:29 pm UTC |
What can I say? I just can't help talking about breasts.
(parent)| jadedsirius @ 2003-03-25 09:32 pm UTC |
One might say that this is perhaps because you wish you had a pair of your own.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 07:00 pm UTC |
Professor, I hardly see how the mention of a hypothetical vagina calls for such a stringent dictatorship. It's not as though I mentioned how horrific it would be to encounter a redhead up close and personal during menstruation, for instance. That would have been too far, don't you agree?
Curious,
Draco Malfoy
| lupercus @ 2003-03-25 10:02 pm UTC |
If you do not apologise to Miss Weasley immediately, Mr Malfoy, and get that filth out of my sight, you will be scraping up Clabbert dung for the rest of the term.
And as I'm sure you recall your past experience with the Clabbert (as does the whole school, with amusement), I'd suggest you take that threat very seriously.
- Lupin
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 10:05 pm UTC |
This is discrimination! Just because you don't like the female body doesn't mean the rest of us don't have a right to whatever we like. This is censorship, and My Father won't hear anything of it.
(parent)| lupercus @ 2003-03-25 10:38 pm UTC |
You're damned right this is discrimination, boy, and I don't care if you haul the bloody Ministry in after me, you will not insult the female population of this school with your attempts to reaffirm your manhood. You can do that on your own time in the privacy of the boys' toilet, just like everyone else.
Four weeks detention. We can make it six if you like.
- Lupin.
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 11:44 pm UTC |
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm going to have to check my calendar.
| lupercus @ 2003-03-25 11:46 pm UTC |
Good. Because it'll be filled. We'll keep going!
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say the word. Instead of going to Azkaban, you'll come here.
Are you through?
| lupercus @ 2003-03-25 11:49 pm UTC |
That's another one, right now.
I've got you for the rest of your natural born life, if you don't watch your step.
You want another one?
| lupercus @ 2003-03-25 11:51 pm UTC |
You got it.
You got another one, right there.
That's another one, pal.
| seekercho @ 2003-03-26 12:05 am UTC |
That's seven, including the one when we first came in, and you asked Professor Lupin whether Gilderoy Lockhart knew that he raided his closet.
(parent)| lupercus @ 2003-03-26 12:14 am UTC |
Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe.
You know something, Malfoy? You ought to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself, and a little less time trying to impress people. You might be better off.
Right, that's it. I'm going to my rooms.
The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls.
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 07:07 pm UTC |
Oh, hello, Chang. Tell me, what do you think of Pansy's breasts? I'd like your expert opinion.
(parent)| seekercho @ 2003-03-25 10:22 pm UTC |
They could be better, for the amount of gold she paid for them.
Watch your back, ferret.
| potterstinks @ 2003-03-25 11:33 pm UTC |
Is that a threat? Two points from Ravenclaw. Tsk tsk.
(parent)| la_pensee @ 2003-03-26 06:24 am UTC |
Cho Chang,
How very kind of you. To insult the party who was not even talking to you. My breasts are quite real, thank you, and I would appreciate an apology.
Pansy Parkinson.
| divineparvati @ 2003-03-25 10:38 pm UTC |
You're absolutely filthy and obviously have no respect for the Female Form, despite what you seem to think.
| just_harry @ 2003-03-25 11:31 pm UTC |
Yeah, I didn't get the Potions assignment this morning. I mean, I know what we have to do, but I don't know where to start looking. I got this book that's not on our reading list, for Christmas, but I'm not sure where to look in it.
| arithmantra @ 2003-03-26 01:35 pm UTC |
Might I recommend the index, Mr. Potter. 5 points to Gryffindor for doing outside reading.
(parent)| la_pensee @ 2003-03-26 06:33 am UTC |
Thank you, darling. Although some of the others would look quite good if they had the right dress robes to accentuate their body types.
And shall I say, dearest, you look so very handsome in that picture of us?
| percyneedsalife @ 2003-03-26 04:16 pm UTC |
Malfoy.
Are you a paranoid sort of person?
Do you enjoy looking around behind you, wondering whether or not that flash of red hair you saw out of the corner of your eye has a wand pointed at you and is about to perform a Castratus Charm at you?
Have you ever thought about checking your food for Shrinky-Dick powder?
Because if you're not -- and if you don't, and if you haven't -- you'd better learn. Fast.
Luv 'n' kisses,
-Fred & George
