potterstinks @ 2003-09-29 15:41:00 |
Current mood: | enraged |
Well, well, well.
As you may or may not know, Saturday I went to Falmouth with Potter to see the Falcons play the Cannons. I only thought it proper that, since Potter has ridiculously argued in the past that the Cannons are a 'good team', it would be best if I could be there personally to see the disappointment he would face when they inevitably lost to my team, the Falcons. In any case, obviously Falmouth is quite far, but Apparation does save quite a bit of time. I, of course, acquired excellent seats, since My Father has many connections with the British League.
Fortunately, Potter didn't wear his atrocious orange Cannons robes, as I likely would have had to curse him, and a sentencing to Azkaban would have conflicted with my enjoyment of the Falcons match. The Falcons, of course, were in top form. Hannaford and Teague, you'll know, are the new Chasers, and naturally they perform at a high level. Within the first two minutes of the match, they nearly had Phoenix off of her broom. Phoenix is a complete riff-raff as it is, and as a Keeper she could hardly keep up with the Falcons. Get it? 'Keep up'? Anyway, the last time I saw the Cannons they still had Maloney as a Seeker, and while I suppose he was fair enough for a mediocre team, he's gone to Italy and now they've got Cadwallader. Actually, I'm sure I saw Maloney while I was in Italy over the holidays. He's rather short.
Cadwallader couldn't fly his way out of a satchel in comparison to Rochefort. Rochefort is the best Seeker in the British League. I rather think his Wronski Feint compares to Krum's as far as believability, and I expect the only reason Cadwallader didn't fall for it was because he thought that if Rochefort had in fact seen the Snitch, he'd have no chance in beating him so it wasn't worth the effort. Cadwallader seemed rather apathetic about the whole thing. For instance, when Charrington accidentally hit Cadwallader's nose instead of the Bludger, Cadwallader continued playing regardless, as though he didn't even feel it, which is entirely possible given that his nose was rather ugly in the first place.
Jenkins tried to pull off a Bludger Backbeat, but of course Knode ended up catching it, apparently under the impression that it was the Quaffle. How unbelievably thick must one be to mistake a Bludger for a Quaffle? I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Knode is so disgracefully fat. It must be rather hard to think when your brain is buried under all that flesh. In any case, that nearly took Knode out of the game, which I for one thought was a brilliant move of cleverness. Nearly taken out of the game by your own Beater! Ha ha ha ha. And by this time the Falcons were already winning 110-20, which is absolutely pitiful for the Cannons. Then Jenkins aimed a Bludger at O'Neill. O'Neill. How does one aim a Bludger at one's own Beater? Particularly when said Beater happens to be wearing bright orange. It's hardly an acceptable mistake.
Anyway, O'Neill shaped up later, I suppose, as he did manage to ruffle Hannaford's robes, but of course, Lucas stupidly dropped the Quaffle on Toohey's head. Toohey got out of the scoring area to throw the Quaffle back at Lucas and both teams got fouls, which was interesting, as the Cannons failed miserably when Toohey successfully pulled off the Double Eight Loop. Phoenix, of course, tried to do so in turn and failed miserably at that as well and the Falcons of course got another goal. Then Hannaford valiantly took a Bludger to the elbow and in turn valiantly smashed O'Neill in the face. Of course, at this point I had to rely on Omnioculars to play everything back later, as Hannaford, Teague and O'Doyle crowded O'Neill and nearly had him off his broom when Cadwallader, stupidly, flew into the thick of it.
Of course, Cadwallader is ridiculously small, so he was entirely in the way and took at least one elbow to the face from Jenkins. Then when he did manage to get out of it, of course, Sykes and Charrington were waiting for him and got him with the Dopplebeater Defence. It was the most impressive Dopplebeater Defence I've ever witnessed, actually, since Cadwallader was so close to them that much power really wasn't required to unseat him with a Bludger. Cadwallader didn't even see it coming. He likely thought he'd managed to avoid the scrape with a few bruises when Sykes and Charrington's Bludger got him full on in the chest. He nearly fell off his broom, but I suppose he managed some sort of mangled version of the Sloth Grip Roll with one hand, and then Teague got back into the thick of it and blatched, but before he could get a foul for it, Cadwallader lost his grip and Sykes sent the Bludger back in his direction. It hit the tail of his broom, Rochefort flew past underneath and just as Cadwallader hit the ground, Rochefort got the Snitch.
All in all, an excellent match, and it would appear Cadwallader's out for the entirety of the season as he was practically scraped off the pitch. Actually, I think he took a bat to the head early in the match as well, but that may have just been O'Doyle's broomstick.
Once again the Cannons are off to a poor start for the season. Potter, of course, tried to argue that Teague committed a foul, but that really has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Rochefort caught the Snitch quite fairly, which even Potter had to admit. Of course, it was an easy win for the Falcons and rather akin to Slytherin beating Hufflepuff, which is and always has been simply a given, but nonetheless I feel I've once again come out the better wizard when it comes to competition between Potter and myself. I'm not entirely sure why Potter continues to follow a losing team, as even Quidditch Through the Ages states that the Cannons are rubbish, so it's certainly not as though it's a well-kept secret or anything as ludicrous. And the Cannons managed to lose with a dismal score of 290 - 60, despite the fact that the Cannons had a great deal of penalty shots. You'd think that if a team got enough penalty shots they might actually make a few, but the Cannons only made three of them.
I'm not surprised that the Falcons have taken Cadwallader out for the season. It was only a matter of time, anyway.
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