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potterstinks @ 2002-11-07 18:27:00 |
I have come to the conclusion that someone or something has been stalking me throughout my detentions. Of course, it could very well be stalking Potter, but somehow, I think it's me. Again. Every time I get into detention and get to work, I'm certain I hear something moving. In fact, I suspect this stalker is reading a book while doing it, because I know I heard pages turning last time.
Monday's detention was extraordinarily boring. The library is like a bloody tomb when no one else is in it. And the fact that the books were so dusty only proves how illiterate and under-read the whole of Hogwarts is. Of course, Potter and I had to clean the Restricted Section as well, and I'm nearly positive that there was blood on some of the spines. Why the sod does this school keep those books in its library? Half of them decided it would be a fabulous idea to escape, and I certainly didn't feel like chasing after them. Of course, it turned out I was right, seeing as one of the books started bloody chasing us. I myself managed to avoid a gruesome death of papercuts rather easily, as it takes no trouble at all to stroll out of the way of a book.
Tuesday: Professor Trelawney has been complaining about the cloudiness of her Instrument lately, so you will meet in the Divination classroom and polish whatever assortment of crystal balls, teacups, and defoggers she instructs you to clean.
Since I don't take Divination, I'd been lucky enough to avoid Trelawney's classroom until now. It's a sodding nightmare, in case no one knew. There was so much smoke in there, probably from stupid incense, that I could scarcely see. I don't appreciate having my eyes irritated from smoke. Why is it that this school sees it fit to inflict physical pain upon students for punishment? When I was in first year I had detention, and Filch made us go into the Forbidden Forest. Does this school care nothing for the safety of its habitants? I could've been killed, which, I might add, Filch nicely pointed out. We aren't allowed in the Forbidden Forest. Dumbledore makes a grand fuss about it at the start of each year, just to make sure we know we aren't supposed to go in there. And yet, they feel it fit to put us there for detention at the meagre age of eleven. Something isn't quite right there.
Trelawney spent most of the time predicting Potter's death in all sorts of creative ways, which I personally thought was the only highlight of detention so far. I'd had no idea that those born under the sign of the Lion were expected to meet their fiery, bloody death by way of a plumbing accident. Naturally, I had high hopes for yesterday's detention.
Wednesday: The prefects' bathtub needs scrubbing, and the faucets and nozzles all need cleaning, and the flavored magic soap replaced. If you have questions about how to go about this, please see Mr. Filch for instructions. And do not attempt to substitute anything other than soap for the faucets, Mr. Malfoy.
Why should I, a Prefect, be forced to clean my own bathtub? Isn't the point of the Prefects' bathroom to make the line between Prefects and non-Prefects a bit clearer? If that's the case, then surely peons and plebeians should be the ones cleaning out the bathroom. I don't see why I should be the one doing the labour. After all, I doubt the Minister cleans his own bathtub.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to ask just which one of the Prefects is eating the flavoured soap. There's absolutely no reason the soap should have been down that low. Someone has been eating it. Don't think I won't find out who it is and reveal this to everyone.
One of my finest pairs of trousers is absolutely ruined now, thanks to the perfumed soap that leaked all over them. Honestly, you'd think Hogwarts could bother making soap that doesn't turn into jelly when it gets stuck to clothing.
That stupid bloody mermaid portrait was making such a big fuss about the whole thing as well, trying to make me slip in the soap. Why do they stick a portrait in the washroom? Had no one considered the fact that portraits are not for bathing with? Of course, I suppose it was all right that she was there yesterday, seeing as otherwise, my only company would have been Potter.
And let's not forget this gem of a detention I've to serve this evening:
Thursday: The trellis that Sprout is using to grow her special hybrid of Mandrake-eating Vine-traps keeps getting eaten by mistake. You and Mr. Potter will construct a new one, together, from the materials you find in the Herbology greenhouse--preferably one that will not break. And watch out for the vines, they have teeth.
"They have teeth" is rather an understatement, don't you think? That MacDonald witch on the Gryffindor team lost a finger on that vine. A finger. I don't care how quickly they replaced it. If anything bites my finger off, I'm taking Potter's as a replacement. He can try to fish mine out of the vine if he wants. I'm certainly not going around fingerless because of a stupid detention. I'll be thinking of Professor Vector when I'm lying on the ground bleeding and trying to fashion a tourniquet out of my hat.
Comments:
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la_pensee @ 2002-11-07 08:55 pm UTC |
Oh Draco, darling. It is so unfortunate you have so much detention. How do the teachers expect you to get your schoolwork done? If there's anything I can do for you, dearest.
Yours,
Pansy