| wheresmytoad @ 2003-05-17 16:08:00 |
| Current mood: |  drained |
McGonagall has answered . . . some
According to Professor McGonagall, I have to still keep taking potions. Lovely to get the news the day after I walked out of a potions class for the very first time. What a smashing time I'll have in there when I go back. I wonder if that was her decision, or the Headmaster's. Or they decided it together. As disappointed as I am, to be fair, well, I understand why they decided that way. They really had to. She's right; they can't make an exception for me.
At least she didn't tell me to pack my trunk to move to Slytherin. Or worse, to leave Hogwarts entirely. (On second thought, maybe being told to move to Slytherin would be worse.)
But nobody's given me an answer on whether they'll let me take Veritaserum again.
From Professor Snape.
Ugh.
But I still want to do it. It's driving me mad, the not knowing. It's really strange. That block must have been there for years. I've been living with it all this time, and honestly, it never really bothered me, because I didn't know about it. All I knew was that I tended to forget things a lot. And that was just me, right? Ha, stupid, dunderheaded Neville. But it must be because of the block. Maybe they used too strong a spell on me? (And who are they, anyway?) But now that I do know about it, it feels like I just can't bear it. I want to claw it off somehow, to see for myself what's been hiding underneath--only I can't even figure out how!
I wish they'd just give me the sodding Veritaserum already and get this over with.
I've been thinking about the day I got my Hogwarts letter. Gran had a whole lot of my aunts and uncles over that day, and they told me it was just because it was my birthday, but everyone knew they were waiting for the owl to arrive. It came rather late in the day, after tea, and I was starting to get afraid there would be no owl for me at all. But then it came, and I read the letter, and everyone was so happy.
And then Gran said we should go to St. Mungo's to tell Mum and Dad.
I didn't want to go, I remember. I didn't want to sit there with her when she went to tell them, "Neville's gotten his owl from the Headmaster, and we're all so pleased!" As if they could hear her. Because they couldn't.
But I went, like I always do.
Don't know why, particularly, I'm writing all this. Except that I'm glad that (so far) I'm apparently not being asked to leave Hogwarts. I would have liked--well. It's strange, but I would have liked to have the chance to experience what it's like to be worried about what your Mum and Dad will say, when you get into trouble at school.
If they could have said anything.
Today would have been their twentieth wedding anniversary.
This has been a horrible week.
N.
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