la_pensee: The Unhappy Truth

The Unhappy Truth
If I had thought the weekend was horrible, I've only found out that the classes here are two hundred times worse. It is not my schedule which I dislike but enduring the other students for hours. In addition to the traditional curriculum (history, potions, DDA, charms, herbology, transfiguration), I am continuing my studies in Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. They do not have Care of Magical Creatures at Beauxbatons, so I have decided to take a class on the Theory of Spellwriting. Unfortunately, it goes into some detail about the Latin language and I'm afraid learning a new language in a foreign language may be beyond me.

If you remember Fleur Delacour from the TriWizard Cup, she has become a Professor at Beauxbatons. She now teaches charms at the school, but I am afraid she in no way compares to the experience and skill of our own Hogwarts teacher, Professor Flitwick. I have no doubts that she was the best in her class - in her school - as she was chosen to compete in the TWC, but compartively speaking - I'm sure you can see my concern.

I almost wish I had been sent to Durmstrung instead. Perhaps then there would not be this mismatched air of pretentiousness and substandard faculty. Forgive my bluntness in that matter, perhaps it is merely my Hogwarts loyalty finally shining through. Little use it is to me now.

In Slytherin, loyalty is not something given much value and rarely cultivated except through fear. Such a trait is usually reserved for those at Hufflepuff. What matters in Slytherin is money and power and who has the most of it. Of course, this kind of relationship holds little room for actual respect or friendship or admiration. Still it is almost ironic that I was exiled by a family of Slytherins for telling half truths, when the other houses think we excel and admonish such acts. The Malfoys can argue libel, but as if I could truly be percieved as having the ability to sully their reputation. If being raided for Dark Artifacts or wading through past accusations of having been a Death Eater have not already done so, surely an offhand comment about the purity of their blood by some "teenaged girl" could not have held much weight either.

I am not justifying my actions, merely pointing out that such things were said in anger, and I think its common knowledge that when we are angry we say things we don't really mean. Of course, I had never dreamed that any of these things would be believed nor have the ability to truly injure the Malfoy name. As if I could have had such an impact on such an old, wizarding family. I was not silly enough to think that, and I don't believe anyone else should have been.

So clearly this exile was merely the Malfoys making some kind of point. It is the only logical conclusion. However, what strikes me as odd is why they have never made a similar points with - for example - Arthur Weasley, who has insulted the Malfoys in public for years and made infringements upon their good name by searching for connections with the Dark Arts in their home. Yet he remains in England with a Ministry job, no less. I suppose it is much easier to merely exile a 16 year old girl. If I were in the same position - a wealthy and prominent adult whose opinion is reputed to hold such weight among the Ministry officials - perhaps I would be tempted to choose similarly. I do not profess to understand the mind of a man so brilliant as Lucius Malfoy.

I suppose this forced emmigration from England has actually been good for my own reflection on the matter. It all makes sense now. At four, I aspired to become as great and beautiful and interesting of a woman as Narcissa Malfoy, so therefore it was only logical that I took interest in her son. However, at fifteen, I began to realise that Draco Malfoy never intended to seriously date me, and thus I became increasingly depressed. Yet for my sake I tried to persuade myself and others that he was actually interested in a girl such as myself. But recently this became undeniably apparent and my hopes of becoming the next Narcissa Malfoy were shattered.

It was all merely a result of unfortunate biology, bad timing, and broken ambitions.

purestblood @ 2002-07-29 08:39 pm UTC

"I do not profess to understand the mind of a man so brilliant as Lucius Malfoy."

Indeed, my dear. You are well advised not to try. I can see that your time away from England has served you well. I do hope that Beauxbatons strives to instill in you the courage to face both your actions and your accusers, rather than running off to London to stay with "family" members. In this matter, you yourself are to blame, not any organs that identify you as female. You say that you endeavored to become the next Narcissa Malfoy. I am sorry, my dear, but she is far, far above anything you could ever aspire to. Her family is impeccable in breeding, manners, and charm. Your parents would do well to emulate those they wish to consider their peers.

Perhaps, once you've accepted your limitations, the need to "lash out" will resolve itself.

One can only hope.

Lucius Malfoy

la_pensee @ 2002-07-30 08:45 am UTC

I think it can be said that a person cannot be blamed for who their parents are, nor have I ever limited myself to thinking that a bad situation during childhood limits future greatness entirely. When one makes goals, one should aim high.

In regards to my "running away" I admit bravery has never been my strong poing. I am not Gryffindor after all. However, it seems to me cowardice is an unfortunately prevalent trait in the Slytherin house. Was it third year or fourth when that Mr. Hagrid unleashed some new horror upon his Care of Magical Creatures class? I can't remember. Only that he tried to have us force them into hibernation boxes and they were none to pleased and attacked us. Of course, most of us were very afraid and went running to his cabin for safety. I am not a bad runner, sir, I do not think so at all, but there breezing past me and screaming at the top of his lungs was none other than your son. He really is quite fast - you should be proud. But I do not blame him of course, we were all scared. Although, I do believe Harry Potter and that muggle-born Hermione Granger stayed behind.

And did you know there are rumours that many of the followers of He Who Must Not Be Named chose to hide and lie and cower in shadows rather than face the consequences of their choices and their actions? (It is an unforutnate truth that many slytherins had joined the ranks of You Know Who.) But you probably do not understand as you are a very brave man unafraid of reaping what he's sown. You were never a willing participant of You Know Who's affairs nor would you have ever even have thought of trying to lie or hide from the repercussions of any such actions.

I am sure these examples to explain the unfortunate fault of fear and self-preservation are lost on a man such as yourself.

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