lupercus: Never. Again.

Current mood:	drained
Current music:	Sirius muttering to himself as he reads the paper: "Bloody Cannons."

Never. Again.

Attempted today to take thirty-eight teenaged witches and wizards through Muggle London to visit the Ministry. However what seemed like a good idea in theory was something else entirely when put in practise. Next time, I believe I shall hire Dementors to help keep the children in line.

The trip started out well enough. Everyone showed up on time and in decent Muggle-wear (with the exception of Lavender Brown who seemed to be under the impression that she would be fleeing a ball at midnight - was forced to transfigure her confection of a dress into a sensible blouse and skirt), and we got through the Portkey with no trouble at all.

We also reached the Ministry unscathed, though it required a bit of a wrangle on the Muggle Underground. Thankfully, our group leads are all quite versed in using the Tube and were able to get us from point A to point B without any detours via point Z. Some of the students who'd never been to the Muggle world before were utterly fascinated by the whole process. I probably would have been too, had I been in their shoes, but I lived as a Muggle for a time in London (sort of) and so the whole business has lost a lot of its novelty with me. However Terry Boot kept things entertaining by crawling under the seats in a Bean-induced fit. Was forced to knock some sense into him, haul him out and confiscate his Beans. That boy won't have any brain cells left if he keeps on with this Bean habit.

Anyway, the Ministry was very educational. The students saw first-hand what the process for a werewolf is like as a poor fellow had just come in to pick up some saftey enchantments and bewitched locks for his cellar for Wednesday night. He was very nice and patient with the chlldren's questions, and seemed very pleased that they had a werewolf teacher. I don't think he was used to the attention and the lack of fear. That was a nice feeling, really.

Also, something I may not have mentioned before - being in the room with another werewolf is a very odd feeling. Sort of a competitive empathy, I suppose. The understanding coupled with the urge to dominate. It was a bit uncomfortable but the chap was very nice so it wasn't too bad. The Support Staff were quite hospitable. We all recieved a tour of the office and the Registry, saw how the numbers are burned magically into skin, and the intricate filing system required to keep track of us all. Then it was on to the Capture Unit, where we met a very enthusiastic Arthur Weasley.

After Arthur gave to Ron a care-package from home we walked around the Capture Unit, and the students were very interested in the varied methods used in catching werewolves. There's also a sort of museum within the building, organised by H.O.W.L., where they preserve ancient and medieval torture devices and interrogation tools. I let the children walk through that bit without me.

Afterwards, I gave the kids the choice of whether they wanted to go back to Diagon Alley, or perhaps explore Muggle London a bit. There was a resounding interest in the latter and so we too a little side-journey to the Muggle streets, and everyone gawked at the shops and the people and the cars. I daresay I was afraid Arthur might have a stroke when he saw the double-decker buses.

The next thing I know, a fight's broken out between Ernie Macmillan and Gregory Goyle, which of course I had to break up, and then someone noticed that both Ron and Draco had wandered off from their group after visiting a joke shop. After a bit of chaos I sent Harry to go and find them, and led the children outside and down to Diagon Alley for a spot of lunch and a little free time to wander as we didn't have to return to the Portkey for another hour. I wasn't too concerned about Ron or Draco, at first - I assumed they would have had enough sense between them to go back to the meeting point and take the Portkey back to Hogwarts. I would know if they had.

I suppose I gave them far, far too much credit.

Eventually, as it began getting late, Arthur became very concerned about his son so he and I used the Ministry's Missing Wizard Tracking System to locate Ron and Apparate to him - in the middle of a very unsavory sort of establishment in Soho. Ron apparently had no idea he'd wandered into a lesbian bar, though he was with Seamus of all people - I just didn't ask - because he was very distraught over a row with Malfoy and the alleged theft of his mum's care-package. He also went on and on about a lottery ticket he'd somehow managed to buy while asking for directions.

The rest of the day is a complete mess in my mind. Arthur and I took Ron back to Diagon Alley, and eventually Harry turned up with golf clubs - again, I didn't ask - and Draco in tow, and there was yet another blazing row about the lottery ticket which - it turns out - is worth about 8,000 Galleons (£50,000 in Muggle money). Naturally this turned into an even bigger row about who the rightful owner of the ticket was - it took a Silencing Charm just to restore some semblance of order, though Arthur, you really didn't help matters any by taking the Charm off of Ron.

The whole matter became too much for me to handle so I pocketed the ticket and brought everyone back to Hogwarts. I've never been more furious with a pair of students in my life - getting lost, disobeying instructions, using magic in the middle of a Muggle street, separating, fighting... I've still no idea how Ron wound up with Seamus in a lesbian bar nor do I know where Draco had gone or where Harry found him or why they had golf clubs. About fifty rules were broken in the end and I'm completely out of patience. There will be house points taken, I warn, and I will not be kind about it.

Not to mention that I will be having a little chat about this with both their mothers.

Ron, Draco, Arthur and I have a meeting with Dumbledore very shortly concerning their behaviour and the fate of the lottery ticket, so I ought to wrap this up.

Please, everyone, the next time I get one of these brilliant ideas in my head, do me a favour and Avada Kedavra me where I stand. I promise not to haunt you.

However, I get my revenge of sorts on Wednesday, so. That's somewhat gratifying.

Off to see the Headmaster, then Madame Pomfrey for a headache cure.

purestblood @ 2003-04-14 07:35 pm UTC

Perhaps you should have tried nipping at their heels, Remus. That should keep the students rounded up nicely.

Lucius

lupercus @ 2003-04-14 07:42 pm UTC

Nobody bloody asked your opinion, Malfoy.

Excuse me, I have to go and be something approaching a parent to the son you pretend not to have.