lupercus: The Bleu Ball

The Bleu Ball
I am a jealous person by nature. Perhaps it's the werewolf influence, sneaking in where I least bloody expect it. I don't know, I think I'm too jealous, now. I never used to be. I'm suspicious to the point of paranoia, and I fault people I love to hurtful points. I want to use this post as a chance to publicly apologise to Sirius, and I'll get to that later.

The Ball was nothing like the dances of my school days. Times have definitely changed, because they used to be a lot more fun and a lot less... eventful, perhaps?

Oh, and the teachers didn't get bloody sloshed in front of their students.

Oh, and Severus? Albus had only said to keep an eye on the students. He never said anything about partaking of the spirits.

The Little (but really big (tm)) Book of Manditory Teacher Rules and Regulations (Written by T. Whistcherspell, M. McFadden, Z. Goodhawk and T. Tim)

(Page 623, paragraph 4 (hardbound edition)): On the question of alcohol consumption, no teacher may imbibe the substance during;

a) classes
b) school functions
c) field trips
d) interactions with students
e) any event where one wishes to conceive a child with a partner that is not criminally ugly

-or any time when one needs to be in a state of alertness. It is generally wise to restrict drinking until you are on leave, on vacation or very sure you won't get caught.

Failure to conform to this(these) rule(rules) results in punishment from the Headmaster, and may include but is not restricted to;

a) announcement on record
b) a temporary impotency spell
c) muggle AA classes
d) very reprimanding glares and disappointed head-shakes
e) a guilt charm
f) a spell banning the intake of any drink other than goat's milk
g) murder most gruesome

Snape, Hooch and Sinistra, I believe the Headmaster shall wish to see you.

Sirius and I skived off a few times to chat, in the shrubbery. At one point we heard a row, and to our displeasure and surprise, Harry and Mr Malfoy engaged rather violently. Mr Malfoy was quiet livid and dishevelled, and I had to restrain the child from ripping Harry's "balls out of his arse," or so Mr Malfoy put it.

Is that even possible? It's best not to know, I think.

Now, back to the issue of jealousy.

Sirius and Snape had a bit of an accident with one of the bowls of punch that the Weasley twins had tampered with. Apparently, the potion they put in causes the drinker to become stuck to whomever they touch next.

It goes without saying that I happened to stumble upon Sirius and Snape in a fairly compromising position, and I might have stormed off in a fit of anger.

Sirius was able to calm me down, and now I feel rather terrible about the whole thing.

onourbrooms @ 2002-06-17 04:59 pm UTC

We snuck off a few times to talk in the bushes.

I believe you've got the wrong four-letter-word ending with "k" there, Lupin.

Kindly take such behaviour somewhere more private in future.

lupercus @ 2002-06-17 05:10 pm UTC

Unless my spelling is off, or terms have changed, the furthest Sirius and I went ended with a "g".

Lupin

(parent)

onourbrooms @ 2002-06-17 05:19 pm UTC

Unless my spelling is off, or terms have changed, the furthest Sirius and I went ended with a "g".

I don't care when you and Black, or anyone else for that matter, pop off for a shag.

But please, not in the bushes. Even if all that trampling weren't so dreadful for them, the rustling tends to displace any dubious cover they might have provided.

Truly, the students don't need to see that.

(parent)

lupercus @ 2002-06-17 05:25 pm UTC

And I suppose you're going to tell me you were standing right there, watching everything Sirius and did and managed to stumble around, ridiculously plastered, inside the school?

The word is kiss, Madame. Not shag.

Lupin

(parent)

jadedsirius @ 2002-06-17 05:20 pm UTC

Ah, yes, getting stinking drunk in front of students is much more appropriate behaviour. I bow to your much more upstanding nature. At least Remus and I were out of sight.

~Sirius

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jadedsirius @ 2002-06-17 05:24 pm UTC

My dearest Remus:

I am so happy that you understand the unfortunate circumstances by which the greasy bastard and I became entangled. I would never wish to cause you the slightest upset. Believe me when I tell you I spent the greatest part of an hour in the shower afterward, trying to rid myself of Snape's taint.

Can I make it up to you tonight over dinner and some strawberry massage oil?

~Sirius

lupercus @ 2002-06-17 05:28 pm UTC

I should be apologising to you still, Sirius.

Rest assured that I've more than forgiven you, though I do hold a bit of a grudge towards anything punch flavoured now, and the Weasley twins will be watched carefully. Have you been able to get the stains out of your pants with an ordinary cleaning charm?

I'll make pasta and you'll bring the wine. (And the massage oil. Strawberry. Mm.)

Remus

(parent)

jadedsirius @ 2002-06-17 05:37 pm UTC

Remus:

The punch stains came out quite readily but the grass stains have proven more stubborn. I swear I can still smell Snape... But no matter. I look forward to tonight, I have a few ideas for alternative uses of pasta...

~Sirius

P.S. Snape looked like hell at breakfast didn't he?

(parent)

lupercus @ 2002-06-17 06:01 pm UTC

Glad to hear about the punch stains. I had a coffee stain a few weeks back that you'd think would a breeze to get out with a simple cleaning charm... no such luck.

I didn't really look at Snape; I was turning my face away from his putridly hung over smell.

Remus

(parent)