| seamus_f in nocturne_alley @ 2003-04-06 13:20:00 |
| Current mood: | powerless. absolutely fucking powerless |
It seems to me that I have lived through interminable ages of emotion.
My head is spinning--I have to tell this in order or I don't think it will make any sense.
Not that it makes any sense, anyway.
The day started out nicely enough. Ron, Dean and I went to Lupin's office for our detention. There was no sign of Malfoy, so Lupin sent Dean and me to look for him while he and Ron hunted doxies. Lupin also said that Dean and I could go on being partners, so I suppose he wasn't really angry with us after all, just annoyed. He was even sort of smiling--you know, that little smile that he has.
So Dean and I were off exploring the castle, and found lots of little rooms that we filed away for future reference, and some that we took advantage of then and there. It was such a nice, leisurely day, just being together and joking and such, and things were said that we hadn't said before, and Dean was so relaxed. I think he was relieved, that he had made a decision, that everything was out in the open. It was lovely.
Anyway, we didn't find Malfoy at all--which is just as well, considering that those that DID find him did better with him than I reckon we ever could--so we gave up and went down to dinner.
You all know what happened next.
Everything happened in sort of a rush, and yet it was like slow motion--Dean ran off to see McGonagall and I ran up to the owlery to send a note to my parents about Easter hols and everything that had happened, and then I just sat in the common room and waited and everyone kept asking me if I wanted anything and they wanted to help and that was great but I don't even know what I can do to help, so I just tried to stay calm and wait for Dean because Dean always knows the best thing to do in any situation. It got quite late--lights out even, but Hermione just asked Harry to bring me a blanket and I sat on the couch next to the fire and waited.
I heard the portrait swing open, and there he was, and he said that McGonagall said that he didn't have to go anyplace he didn't want to so he's staying at school, and I was so glad. He looked so tired, and sad, and scared, and I hugged him and he was shaking a little. And I realized that I'm the one who has to decide what to do, that Dean's made enough decisions for a while, so I brought us back up to our room and got him changed for bed but he said he didn't think he could sleep and would I read to him because he likes that. So we picked up a spy novel he had got for Christmas and went back to the common room and I sat on the couch and he lay down next to me and I read to him all night. When we finished the novel it was almost morning so we went outside and watched the sunrise over the lake.
After a while we went in to have breakfast and then Dean said I should keep my plans with Harry because he wanted a nap and to be alone for a little while and think, and I said he'd better not do anything stupid and he smiled for the first time since dinner and said "You don't have to worry about me, Shay." So Harry, if you're still willing, I think I'd like to have that flyabout. I'm too restless to nap and too tired to do any work.
And Professor Lupin, Professor Black, do either of you have any time this evening to talk? I'm not sure what to do next.
I don't recall everything that Da has told me about the faith he practiced before he met Mum, but I do remember the story of Easter, and that it's about forgiveness. I hope Dean's parents remember that, too.
Comments:
| lupercus @ 2003-04-06 11:46 am UTC |
Seamus,
Yes, I'm available, at any time. I will be in my office throughout the day. Please, come and see me. I'll make sure Professor Black is here as well, and you can bring Dean if he is willing.
For what it's worth, Seamus, I am sorry that there are no magic spells to make everything better, this time. Believe me when I say that I wish there were.
- Professor Lupin
| percyneedsalife @ 2003-04-06 02:39 pm UTC |
Seamus, pop round the shop sometime for a chat and a little package we'd like to give you. Fred'll try to talk your ear off, but just ignore him.
-George
| jadedsirius @ 2003-04-06 05:00 pm UTC |
I echo the sentiment Remus put forth much more eloquently.
We're here for you.
~Sirius