| potions_master in nocturne_alley @ 2003-04-13 14:39:00 |
| Current mood: | irate |
| Current music: | "Cello Concerto: First Movement," Elgar |
From Ancient Grudge Break To New Mutiny
This school is no longer safe even for authority.
On Friday evening, while en route to the dungeons, I was obnoxiously accosted and detained, verbally abused and then force-fed a confection that resulted in my spending three hours in the form of a crane. I am certain that all of you find this highly amusing, however rest assured that I do not, and as a result I am in very bad humour and you will all pay. Particularly you. Do not think a mere pecking was the only pain you shall suffer, you great arse.
I suggest you all study extremely diligently for a week's worth of the most arduous, obdurate exams you will ever experience in your tedious, fustian lives.
The persons responsible for destroying the computer laboratory are to report to my office immediately for their sentencing punishment. I will not tolerate the vandalism of school propery, no more than I tolerated it when Weasley and Potter very nearly took down the Whomping Willow four years ago. Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster may have coddled those two meddlesome brats, but I will show none of their mercy to the destructive fiends what left that room in such disarray. Their punishment shall be swift and virtuous.
With regard to the flagitious scofflaw behind the current malediction plagueing this school, I am indeed very close to exposing him and his scheme. It is only a matter of time before he is caught, and forced to answer for his diabolical delictum. Mark my words, he shall rue the day. Rue.
I am finished here.
Comments:
| potterstinks @ 2003-04-13 02:42 pm UTC |
With all due respect, Professor Snape, Professor Vector has demanded that I go to her office immediately as well. As I can't be in two places at the same time, I'd like to know where I'm supposed to go.
Draco Malfoy
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 02:51 pm UTC |
As the Head of your House, Mr Malfoy, I strongly suggest that you choose very, very carefully which teacher you must inevitably disobey.
I am waiting.
Professor Snape
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 02:53 pm UTC |
As Deputy Headmistress, I also advise you to carefully consider this, Mr Malfoy.
Professor M McGonagall
| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 02:55 pm UTC |
Oh, of course you are as always free to do what you like, Draco. But I did say there would be Consequences for any delays in reaching my office. You would do best to mark my words.
(parent)| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:00 pm UTC |
And what on earth do you want with Mr. Malfoy, Minerva? He's not really in your immediate jurisdiction, and, unless my calculations are off, it's not remotely a day of Change, Surprise, And Unrest for you, so I cannot imagine what has effected this sudden never-before-manifested interest in Draco's welfare. Hmm?
(parent)| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:02 pm UTC |
As Deputy Headmistress, my jurisdictions take something of a wider area than Severus's. May I ask what your interests are, Hildegard? You were not, the last time I checked, the Head of a House. If it is jurisdictions you are concerned about, you may wait until Severus and I have finished our business with Mr Malfoy before you attempt to shower him with the baked goods you are so deeply fond of.
M McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress
| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:09 pm UTC |
Your attempt to deflect my queries about your intentions onto myself is clever, Minerva, but it hardly justifies your sudden interest in the boy. I at least have hopefully proven by now that I am interested in Mr. Malfoy's welfare as well as in his schoolwork, and therefore I see no reason to justify myself to you, regardless of the fact that, as you feel so eager to remind me, I have no position of real authority because I am merely a lowly professor, and not an esteemed Head of House.
My compliments to you for the impressive intimidation techniques, but as I am much more concerned for Draco than either of you, I'll just be running along now to find him, as I've no doubt he's used these diversions as an excuse to slip off somewhere and hide from all of us. Brava, professor. Brava.
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:13 pm UTC |
Hildegard, you know very well that as Deputy Headmistress it is my duty to see to it that punishments are doled out to students fairly and equally. It would not do to see Mr Boot and Mr Thomas receiving punishment while Mr Malfoy goes off scot-free, which I can only assume will be your choice. On the other hand, Mr Malfoy hardly deserves to take the majority of the punishment from Severus due to Severus's own outlandish expectations of Slytherins. Therefore it is only logical that I should be the one to see Mr Malfoy as I seem to be the only impartial member of this staff. It would be highly recommended for both of you to step aside and allow me to do my job. If not I can certainly sniff out Mr Malfoy faster than either of you can.
(parent)| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:26 pm UTC |
As you know quite well, Minerva, I have never attempted to interfere in inter-house disputes, and nor do I have any intention to start today. My interest in Mr. Malfoy does not regard his punishment over that ridiculous affair of the duel, the portrait, and the copy machine, although I must inquire as to why Hogwarts feels it necessary to even own such a potentially harmful device when a simple replication spell would work and be much safer.
No, I fully intend to leave his punishment up to you. I have other matters which I wish to discuss with Mr. Malfoy.
Now, if you please, I have done with explanations.
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:29 pm UTC |
I, too, have other matters to discuss with Mr Malfoy. I assume you feel yours are the only of any importance.
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 03:03 pm UTC |
The day you become the head of a house, Vector, is the day you shall be taken seriously. Maybe.
Mr Malfoy is a Slytherin and therefore my responsibility. I will deal with him, should you nattering harpies back off and let me do my job.
SS
| potterstinks @ 2003-04-13 02:52 pm UTC |
Professor McGonagall also seems to request my presence, sir.
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 02:55 pm UTC |
Then I shall be required to owl Your Father and inform him of your disobedience to Slytherin in favour of a Gryffindor.
I suggest you examine exactly where your loyalties lie, Mr Malfoy.
Professor Snape
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 02:58 pm UTC |
Since the pair of you have resorted to innuendo and threats, I hardly feel that you will mind waiting while Mr Malfoy puts aside 32.5 minutes to visit my office.
M McGonagall
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 03:01 pm UTC |
I do indeed mind waiting, McGonagall. You, however, may go and chase rats or whatever it is you do, while I dole out the boy's punishment for being an absolute disgrace to his House.
It will not take long.
SS
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:06 pm UTC |
Severus! Insulting a student is not beneficial, nor does it argue your case. I do have some authority over you, you know.
MM
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 02:59 pm UTC |
Why don't you go calculate something, such my complete lack of interest in your presence.
| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:03 pm UTC |
Charming advice, Severus. I'm told there's an antidote for that particular complex of yours in which you think your mere appearance supercedes the interests of everyone else present. It's called arsenic. I think it would suit you.
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 03:08 pm UTC |
You threaten a Potions Master with his own weapons. Tell me, were you born thick or is it a talent acquired over time?
I suggest you hire a house-elf as a taste-tester, Vector, lest you find yourself ingesting something you should not.
SS
| potterstinks @ 2003-04-13 03:09 pm UTC |
Professor Snape, Professor Flitwick has just come by and asked me to see him as well.
(parent)| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:13 pm UTC |
You have ten minutes, Mr. Malfoy, after which, if you are not inside my office I will take 50 points from your house, and an additional ten points for every minute you are late.
That is the end of this discussion.
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:14 pm UTC |
Mr Malfoy. Professor Flitwick is your lowest priority right now.
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 03:15 pm UTC |
Flitwick's importance to this matter is less than his height, Mr Malfoy. I do not care if the Minister of Magic has requested your presence, if you are not in my office within the next five minutes, you will be paired with Longbottom in class until the end of your seventh year.
Professor Snape
| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:23 pm UTC |
I will give you a protection ward against Mr. Longbottom's cauldron disasters, Draco.
My office. Please.
| potterstinks @ 2003-04-13 03:27 pm UTC |
I don't want to be paired with Longbottom! Longbottom smells.
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 03:30 pm UTC |
Then I suggest you get down here.
Incidentally, protection spells are useless in the Potions classroom. You are aware of this, of course.
You now have three minutes.
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:32 pm UTC |
2.5 minutes, Mr Malfoy, or you may meet with the headmaster to discuss your status as a prefect.
(parent)| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:35 pm UTC |
As if Dumbledore would rescind Draco's Prefect status just because of a silly inter-faculty argument over who gets to punish him first! Reall, Minerva, I question your ability to lead if such are your priorities! Of all things. Pay her no heed, Mr. Malfoy.
90 points from Slytherin.
| arithmantra @ 2003-04-13 03:39 pm UTC |
The wisest of choices, Mr. Malfoy. 90 points to Slytherin.
I shall see you in my office on your way back from visiting the Headmaster.
| scotchtartan @ 2003-04-13 03:43 pm UTC |
The dark corridor behind the Muggle Studies corridor off of the Runes corridor, Mr Malfoy, the one near the library. There is a mildly unattractive gargoyle to which you should give the password ice mice. A fine choice, if I do say.
(parent) boot_boy @ 2003-04-13 04:03 pm UTC |
Well, if Draco doesn't have to meet with Snape I don't see why I should.
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 04:09 pm UTC |
You will be waiting for me in my office, Mr Boot. Mr Malfoy has not escaped punishment - he has merely succeeded in delaying it for a few minutes.
Professor Snape
| boot_boy @ 2003-04-13 04:48 pm UTC |
Fine. I'm on my way. Do you still keep the hallucinogenic toads in the third desk drawer on the left?
(parent)| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 05:02 pm UTC |
Not anymore.
You will also bring your entire supply of purple Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, as they are now a controlled substance in this school, and I must confiscate them.
I am waiting.
Professor Snape
| lupercus @ 2003-04-13 04:06 pm UTC |
My dear boy, I did say that I was sorry. I'd no idea that was a Crane Cream - you recall I was a bit out of my tree. You might look into experimenting with Boot's purple Beans, I daresay they have very interesting properties that bear a closer examination.
I shall bring you some, as a token of apology. How's that?
Also: Elgar? Really, Severus. Elgar?
- R.
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 04:10 pm UTC |
I happen to like Elgar.
And you can keep your bloody beans, Remus. For all I know they've been tampered with just as that biscuit was.
SS
| lupercus @ 2003-04-13 04:12 pm UTC |
You have no taste.
You do, however, have very lovely plumage.
- Remus
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 04:14 pm UTC |
I have never looked forward to the full moon more than I do now.
SS
| potions_master @ 2003-04-13 04:22 pm UTC |
I don't have to try them to know that I do not like them. I just know.