| potterstinks in nocturne_alley @ 2002-10-16 20:21:00 |
| Current mood: | enraged |
Attention: Hogwarts.
As I was inspecting Gryffindor Tower on my Prefect's rounds, I was forced to check under the right side of Ron Weasley's mattress, as some Gryffindor had claimed he had illicit pornography. Of course, it's no surprise, and I had to confiscate them.
From Weasley's bed I confiscated the following magazines:
Wide Witches
Wingarterbelt Leviosa
Voyeuristic Vampires
Witches on Witches: Woohoo! (this appeared to be the work of a student)
Showers of Gold and Other Things Your Wand Can Do
Shaved
and, finally, Magical Me: A Guide.
Of course, if I were dating someone that was harder to get into than the public register . . . no, no, I still wouldn't be this pathetic.
Each had a tag inside that read, "PROPERTY OF RON", so there is simply no doubt who they belong to.
Weasley, if you want your reading material back you'll have to go to Professor Dumbledore. Of course, I had to give him a fully detailed report, and all Prefects are required to return illicit confiscations to the Headmaster. I'm sure if you explain just how very, very badly you need them, he'll be happy to give them to you.
Comments:
| potterstinks @ 2002-10-16 05:45 pm UTC |
Rotten? A Prefect can't favour anyone, Rummy. I'm just doing my job.
(parent)| blushcrush @ 2002-10-16 05:50 pm UTC |
Rummy?! Where did you get THAT? You know my name, you're just being a rotten git.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2002-10-16 05:54 pm UTC |
No, I'm afraid I can't be bothered remembering the details of every charity case I pass.
(parent)| knight_to_h3 @ 2002-10-16 05:54 pm UTC |
Don't bother with him, Gin, he's not worth anything.
(parent)| percyneedsalife @ 2002-10-16 07:01 pm UTC |
Hey, Malfoy, does that mean you want us to return the ones we're holding in the shop for you?
Just in case you'd forgotten, we've got:
Lords In Leathers
Bare Barons
Hung 'n' Horny
Wizzing Wizards: The Golden Shower Chronicles
Fisting Fun
Oh, and that signed copy of the Gilderoy Lockhart commemorative photo collection. You remember, the one with the inscription "Draco, I'll always treasure that glorious night. Love, Gillie", that you didn't want sent to Hogwarts in case it fell in the cornflakes.
Let us know if we should send them back to the supplier, yeah?
George
PS. The Black Prince (14") should be in stock by next week. I know you were interested in it when you looked in the catalogue.
| percyneedsalife @ 2002-10-16 07:07 pm UTC |
PPS. George forgot to remind you about the new nipple clamps we have in. You said that you had so much fun with the first set and all.
--Fred
 knight_to_h3 @ 2002-10-16 07:19 pm UTC |
Get them nicely engraved with his father's name, won't you, Fred?
(parent) knight_to_h3 @ 2002-10-16 07:20 pm UTC Ho ho! |
HAHAHAHA HA HA HAHAHA HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA HA HA HA!
(parent)| sinistra @ 2002-10-16 07:02 pm UTC |
What an enlightening post, Mr. Malfoy. Four points to Slytherin for your work.
However, since I feel ill from reading it, that will be three points from Slytherin.
 missgranger @ 2002-10-16 07:56 pm UTC |
Of course, if I were dating someone that was harder to get into than the public register . . .
How DARE you say that?!?! What Ron and I do privately is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!
And I'm certain that Professor Dumbledore already knows that you PLANTED those things in Ron's room!!
no, no, I still wouldn't be this pathetic.
That's only because you couldn't possibly get more pathetic than this post proves.
| potterstinks @ 2002-10-16 11:17 pm UTC |
Planted them, did I? It seems the Weasel's friends are rather familiar with his pornography collection.
(parent)deanthomas @ 2002-10-17 02:33 am UTC |
Malfoy?! What the hell were you doing in my farking bedroom?! I don't care if you ARE a prefect, you're not supposed to go poking your pointy little nose around Gryffindor Tower! How the hell did you even get in?
Neville, did you write all the passwords down again?
And anyway, Ron's MY friend. And his things are MINE to root through and mock, not yours.
Christ.
seamus_f @ 2002-10-17 01:31 pm UTC |
I expect, Dean, that he was looking for my own stash of Dragonhide Wizards. Seems rather more likely.
Which, by the way, is what you should have been looking at, isn't it?
| deanthomas @ 2002-10-17 02:04 pm UTC Re: |
I'm not interested into random blokes in leather trousers, Seamus. I'm just into you.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2002-10-17 04:13 pm UTC |
Oh, well that's touching. I'm glad you've brought things to a head in my journal entry.
(parent)| deanthomas @ 2002-10-17 04:55 pm UTC Re: |
I was GOING to bring it elsewhere. But now I think I'll spew heartfelt confessions all over your journal, since you seem to be to appriciative.
(parent) seamus_f @ 2002-10-18 08:48 am UTC |
Oh. Well. That's different, then.
Christ Jesus, Dean, but you're a complicated bloke.
| potterstinks @ 2002-10-17 04:15 pm UTC |
I have my ways, Thomas. Feeling rather possessive of the Weasel's pornography, aren't you? Is that something you and Weasley "bonded" over?
(parent) seamus_f @ 2002-10-18 08:42 am UTC |
Sounds more like a fantasy of yours than his, Malfoy.
Stay the bloody hell out of our tower.