percyneedsalife @ 2002-09-05 12:53:00

Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes Strikes Again!
We received this letter from our dear friend Lee Jordan, Auror, today:

"Recently, the Ministry has been trying to track down You-Know-Who's minions who have infiltrated our ranks. As it was, I was assigned to look after a certain group of suspected Wizards. In a stroke of genius, I remembered one of your old tricks, a magicked waffle that would let the owner hear whatever was round it. We used it on those Ravenclaw birds a while back so we wouldn't have to study, remember? It worked wonders.
"We had heard this group was meeting for an early evil brunch at a remote bistro deep inside Knockturn Alley. We had the cook put the waffle on one of the plates, and it ended up in front of none other than Mr. Crabbe, Sr. Remember his son? He was one of those wobbly Malfoy goons who liked to harass Potter back at Hogwarts. Somehow, Crabbe ended up-- well, let's just say the whole lot of my team ended up yelling:
"'No! Don't eat me, don't eat-- Oh, crap.'
"Crabbe not only ate the waffle, he ended up choking on it! It looked moldy -- it wasn't suppose to be edible! You couldn't pay me enough to eat that thing. To make matters worse, none of the Death Eaters could do anything to help him!
"But no, things couldn't end like that. When Crabbe died, his body turned into a giant, green kangaroo. Kangaroo, boys. The Death Eaters were completely shocked! I think they think a kangaroo in the shape of Crabbe somehow infiltrated their ranks! It would have been more funny if Crabbe wasn't, well, dead.
"Unfortuntely, because of this little accident, the Ministry's trial of Wizard Wheeze equipment has been suspended indefinitely. Sorry about that, I was really trying my best. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought I'd tell you before the Ministry sent you a nasty howler.
"But look at it this way -- you went out in a bang!"

Suspended?!

Well, if you ask me, it got rid of a Death Eater, didn't it? I don't see the other Aurors doing much of that. Lee is clearly a genius. Every Auror should take our pranks into account.

Comments:

crabbe @ 2002-09-05 10:54 am UTC

...

percyneedsalife @ 2002-09-05 11:05 am UTC

Er, sorry, Crabbe.

(parent)
potions_master @ 2002-09-05 12:27 pm UTC

Fred and George Weasley,

I am sure that this is a very proud moment in the Weasley family history. You've managed to be condescending, flippant, inappropriate and insensitive in one go. Perhaps you will take into consideration next time that practically the entire wizarding community can read your juvenile words including family and friends of Mr. Crabbe Sr.

Perhaps you were unaware that Vincent Crabbe, his son, attends Hogwarts as well?

Congratulations on being complete prats, Weasleys.

-SS

la_pensee @ 2002-09-06 07:50 am UTC

This is unbelievably callous. Despite whatever the actions of the father, the rest of his family is hardly deserving of such disrespect.

Pansy