| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 14:10:00 |
Concerns.
For a change, I am going to talk about the NEWTs.
It is approaching.
It is also Summer.
I do not see the need to further explain why that is wrong.
But I will, anyway.
In Summer, there is sun.
18 hours of it, in case anyone else has been wondering why they are getting sunburnt in their sleep.
24 minus 18 is 6.
In Summer, there is 6 hours of un-sun.
6.
Six.
I am physically incapable of mental exertion while I am sticking to everything I am in unfortunate contact with.
Therefore, I am forced to cramp all my revision in the 6 hours.
Why?
Because the NEWTs are in Summer.
You know who else hates the sun?
Draco.
Why?
In Summer, Draco chafes.
And who I have to study with everyday in the hammock?
Draco, who chafes.
And who weighs next to nothing so the hammock is lop-sided and he ends up sitting on my knee until it falls asleep?
Draco, who chafes and cannot hold his own.
And who decides it best to conjure up a canopy of leaves around his head to block out the sun, and is very short and thus the leaves are actually there just to blind me?
Draco, who chafes and is small.
Therefore, the NEWTs should not be in Summer.
Any questions?
Keep it to yourself.
M. B.
Comments:
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:13 am UTC |
Perhaps if you weren't closer to the sun than everyone else, you wouldn't have this problem.
| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:17 am UTC |
I do not see the giants having to share a hammock with you and a rainforest.
M. B.
| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:23 am UTC |
How is that different from sitting with a forest, how.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:27 am UTC |
Well, if you didn't take up so much space, you wouldn't be so hot, now would you?
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:28 am UTC |
Larger surface area aids faster evaporation.
However, hot air rises.
Nobody has suffered the way I have suffered.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:34 am UTC |
Pardon me?
Are you forgetting that you broke my toes last year? Have you forgotten that I dislocated my kneecap? Where were you while that brutish Hippogriff was ripping my arm open? Perhaps the fact that I've been stalked by the house-elves managed to elude you. When did you last have to serve detention with Evan Landgreen? Have you been forced to serve detention by acting as a house-elf? When was the last time you had to polish the Gryffindors' shoes? Don't let's forget that I was forced to go through the Imperius Curse twice more than you in Defence Against the Dark Arts fourth year. And while I'm at it, I might mention that all you had to do was twirl around, while I had to walk into the wall repeatedly.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:35 am UTC |
I've received blisters while at Hogwarts more times than I can count, including the time I had to walk back from Hogsmeade all the way to Hogwarts.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:38 am UTC |
YOU LEFT A HEATING CHARM ON MY BED FOR OVER A WEEK AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:45 am UTC |
To see how long it would take you to realise your bed is boiling.
You disappoint me, Draco, you do.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:48 am UTC |
You're going to pay for what you've done, Millicent.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:52 am UTC |
I am aware of that, Draco.
I have been paying since we met.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:02 pm UTC |
Of course not. If I've got to put up with you, though, I ought to get gold for it.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:04 pm UTC |
Get my mother to adopt you, then.
She asks about you frequently in her owls.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:06 pm UTC |
Actually, I think Eglantine will give me gold for nothing.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:07 pm UTC |
I am glad you do not find that disturbing in any way.
M. B.
| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:14 pm UTC |
I cannot imagine what you both have in common.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:25 am UTC |
I've drawn up some plans for a spell to destroy it, but it's only tentative at the moment.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:27 am UTC |
If you need further emotional support for this project, know that I am here for you.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:28 am UTC |
What, exactly, do you mean by 'here for [me]'? Are you attempting to hit on me?
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:40 am UTC |
I do not know.
All that chafed skin and receding hairline.
How could I, indeed.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:41 am UTC |
I DO NOT CHAFE, MILLICENT. I BURN. MY SKIN IS SENSITIVE. IT'S HARDLY MY FAULT YOUR SKIN IS COMPARABLE TO LEATHER.
I DO NOT HAVE A RECEDING HAIRLINE. MY HAIR IS THICK AND GLORIOUS.
| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:44 am UTC |
My skin is "weathered" because I have suffered.
Not "leather".
Why are you shouting?
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:47 am UTC |
Weathered, if you were a dragon. I am shouting because I was just struck with the brilliant idea to set you on fire in your sleep. I was quite excited, you understand.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:50 am UTC |
That would be a lot more threatening if you do not sleep three times more than I do.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:52 am UTC |
Is this a joke? You're the laziest person I've ever met. I'm surprised you manage to stay awake until dinner, but of course, there's food there.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 11:55 am UTC |
Considering that I don't spend twelve hours a day eating, this is hardly a surprise.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 11:59 am UTC |
Therefore, you sleep more than me, and I am correct.
M. B.
| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:07 pm UTC |
Friends do not let friends make losing bets, so yes, I do.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:10 pm UTC |
All right, then. I challenge you to a Sleeping Duel. Whoever falls asleep first loses.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:13 pm UTC |
Accepted graciously.
Would you like a headstart?
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:16 pm UTC |
You just know that I'll win unless I start hours before you.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:17 pm UTC |
Well I was offering you the chance to nap before we start.
That is the last time I am ever being nice to you.
M. B.
| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:18 pm UTC |
Perhaps we ought to start tomorrow after we've slept for the evening. After all, you had a big lunch.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2004-05-26 12:25 pm UTC |
I hope you're looking forward to the many things you'll have to do between curfew and morning.
(parent)| petitemillicent @ 2004-05-26 12:32 pm UTC |
I will have a lot of time to keep watch on you.
M. B.