potterstinks @ 2003-04-10 18:08:00

Current mood:enraged

As always, I've returned back to the drawing board. Actually, by now the drawing board is starting to look like 'the ink blot with a few bits of white where I haven't crossed out any names yet', but just the same I'm starting to think my original suspicions were correct. Clearly there isn't anyone worth dating at Hogwarts, as my results will show.

Hufflepuff. For continuity's sake.


Abbott: I may have had something to say, but that would have required me to actually find out who this Abbott witch is. Of course, I wouldn't want to add to her delusions of being noticed, now would I? Not applicable.

Bones: How I detest Susan Bones. Each time I see her naïve, pudgy face, I wish I had a sledgehammer. Her innocent, pathetic stupidity is the most annoying thing to come out of Hufflepuff since the time Finch-Fletchley vomited on the Quidditch pitch during fifth year. If she has breasts, they're likely very stupid breasts. She probably draws on them so her nipples look like happy faces. No wonder Finch-Fletchley went looking for arse elsewhere. He likely tired of all the masturbation. Denied.

Jones, Megan: Disqualified. Hufflepuff.

MacDougal, Morag: Disqualified. Mudblood.

Midgen: Who or what is this? My sources tell me she's some sort of Hufflepuff girl, but one can hardly tell behind that hideously off-centre nose. Not even a consideration.

Now that's taken care of, I've been giving a bit of thought to this duel, and have come to the conclusion that Boot is a complete and utter idiot. Today he asked me to choose my weapon. As though there's a complete line of weapons available for duelling. So many to choose from, of course, that I could hardly decide. I asked him, and he said he'll be using his wand. Surprisingly enough, I've decided to do the same. It was a difficult decision, trying to choose between my wand and this speck of lint here, but I feel I've made the right one.

I've been discussing with Cadogan, and in the event of my death I've decided to have my body mounted in a glass case in the Great Hall. Of course, this impending doom does worry me. After all, when facing such certain death, I might not choose the best robes to be immortalised in due to being distracted by the overwhelming fear of Boot's cosmetics and my undying love for Millicent Bulstrode. Incidentally, I'd like to know when we entered an alternate reality.

Comments:

purestblood @ 2003-04-10 06:27 pm UTC

I'm glad you're approaching this farce with the right spirit, son. You'll do splendidly on Saturday. Narcissa and I will be there.

Your Father

potterstinks @ 2003-04-11 11:09 am UTC

Father,

I'm quite glad to know that you and Mother will be coming out to show your support. It's a shame that I can't say that the parents of others are as interested in the activities of their offspring. Will you be going to Hogsmeade with Mother and I as well?

Your protege,
Draco

(parent)
purestblood @ 2003-04-11 11:31 am UTC
Re:

Draco,

You know that your mother and I take every interest in your activities. I am looking forward to seeing your victory, and accompanying you to Hogsmeade. The quality of the stores there is nothing like the Malfoys are accustomed to, but I'm sure we can find something to reward you with as a result of your impeccable behavior these past few days.

Your Father

(parent)