potterstinks: No subject.

When I hunt down and find the sadistic riffraff who took it upon himself to invent crutches, I will make certain to bash each and every bone that comes remotely close to his underarms. If he happens to be dead, I'm sure I can trap his spirit in a Bludger.

Prior to the match on Saturday, Millicent decided to use me as weight-lifting practice. Since I was to be both Beater and Seeker, I thought it best that Millicent be in top shape for the match, as she was to be doing most of the work. Of course, by the time we got to the changing rooms to go over strategies, I was in need of a shower, so we only had forty-five minutes to go over everything and Haydt had sneaked off for a doughnut. Never mind the filling that leaked on the robes I'd just had cleaned that morning. Evidently this is unimportant.

In any case, since McGonagall made us return Vulchanov to Bulgaria, we hardly had time to find a replacement Beater and since Millicent is two Beaters on her own, we'd decided I would take on the position as a formality. It's hardly kosher, but no one seemed to object once we were actually on the pitch. I suppose they assumed being short a player meant Slytherin would be losing tremendously and that therefore it didn't matter. Of course, I hardly see why we should be punished for having a professional Beater but have nothing said to us for having someone play both Seeker and Beater, but it's rather moot now, isn't it?

Bludgers, as you know, are charmed to follow players indiscriminately, but when not being hit, they'll aim for the person closest to them. So when I spotted the Snitch an hour in, I threw my bat to Millicent as planned, and a Bludger happened to be right there. So it smashed my kneecap, as of course everyone knows by now, causing me to spin out and smack into Chang. She wasn't even paying attention so of course she fell off her broomstick. I'd hardly be pretending I didn't mean to knock her off her broom if I'd done it on purpose, so I don't see why everyone's acting as though I purposely let my knee get destroyed in order to shove her off. Yes, it was all part of my plan. I let a ball of iron smash into my patella just to pull one over on Chang. It was an accident. If I wanted the credit for it I'd certainly take it, but oddly I was a bit pre-occupied with the searing pain in my leg. In fact, I didn't realise she was right behind me and I hardly even noticed when she fell off.

In any case, I could hardly be expected to stay in the air after that. I caught the Snitch on the way down and crashed into the ground in what I feel was a rather dramatic display, especially as I ripped my knee open once I landed on my broom. That's the reason there was so much blood, actually, as I tore a large chunk of skin off on my broom. According to Millicent, my knee looked rather impressive since it was sunken in and bleeding all over the place. I, however, was under the impression that I had sunk into the ground and was being buried alive, as everything was going black and I seemed unable to move even my mouth. Fortunately, the inability to move my fingers meant I didn't let go of the Snitch until some time after I passed out.

By the time I awoke in hospital, Pomfrey had stuffed me full of so many potions I could barely remember who I was. I'm glad, however, that everyone finds it so comical. The reason she'd been pumping me with draughts, I learnt later, was that after she'd had my kneecap wired back on with silver and unicorn hair, she let it heal and then had to rebreak it with a Breaking Charm so it would heal properly. So humorously, she gave me potions to ensure I stayed knocked out throughout most of it. Pansy considerately had molasses sent to me so I wouldn't speak in my lack of consciousness. I do feel so horrid that I bothered anyone while I was unconscious due to having my kneecap attached to my leg with silver and then having it rebroken. I am so very bloody thoughtless.

I woke up for a moment on Sunday and had Millicent and Pansy removed so I could be alone. Evidently at some point, my mother tried to have a firechat. The next time I awoke up, I discovered that My Father had sent a mediwizard to handle my affairs. Mr Avery seemed to be bothering Madam Pomfrey, largely due to the fact that he used a Repelling Charm to remove the unicorn hair from my knee and set the whole thing apart again. The silver, of course, wasn't enough to hold without the magical properties of the unicorn hair, but Mr Avery wanted to use Veela hair instead of unicorn hair. A frenzied battle ensued, in which Mr Avery and Pomfrey got into a hair-pulling war and finally remembered that I was lying on the bed with a kneecap that was not in the place it should have been.

Consequently I had to stay in hospital an extra day and received a delightful visit from Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe seemed to be under the impression that I was growing an entirely new kneecap. He asked if there were seeds. Then he thoughtfully dropped his books on my knee. Needless to say, he left rather quickly.

Since my kneecap was rebroken, it's meant to heal at a slightly slower rate than the first time so it will do so properly. Pomfrey finally let me leave the infirmary last night, but since my knee is too weak to walk on I've to use crutches. I used them all day today, and now my underarms feel as though someone used them for kicking practice. I'd considered staying in bed so I could be left alone, but then I realised if I stayed in bed any longer my muscles would start becoming atrophied.

I was late to Potions this morning, but I imagine Professor Snape was well aware that it's difficult to be speedy when on crutches, so he clearly didn't mind. Pansy and Millicent decided to spend the day labelling my food, sticking forks in my face and trying to drown me with my own glass of milk. My hands aren't broken. I can feed myself. Millicent also threatened to give me a sponge bath. Fortunately, tomorrow is Pansy's birthday, so the humiliation can be focussed on her instead.