| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 00:02:00 |
| Current mood: | enraged |
If anyone was under the impression that Muggles are to be trusted, I'm quite thrilled to say that I was, of course, right in this area, and that once and for all I've got proof.
Mother owled me last week to inform me that Hera Peligroso exploited her to a group of Muggles claiming to be witches. Evidently they find the entire thing to be some sort of herbal religious experience and expected My Mother to perform for them. Rather than being honoured that an actual witch, not to mention a Malfoy, graced them with her presence, they were instead angered that she didn't perform for them. She had to fight for her life all because she's a witch.
Anyway, Mother, I'll be returning your owl this evening.
My wretched experience thus far at Hogwarts has improved marginally, in that I've managed to get a few nights of sound sleep and the centimetres by which my bed was lowered last year have somehow come back. I suppose once I'd actually gone home for holidays, the powers that be at Hogwarts finally felt it appropriate to fix my bed. Perhaps they thought I wasn't coming back. Regardless of the reason, my bed is back in its normal condition and there haven't been any bizarre messages written in the steam on the mirror after I've showered.
However, I do, of course, have a number of complaints. For instance, I'm not sure what Professor Flitwick was thinking when he decided to get a suntan. He looks like a leper now. A leper with a secondary skin condition.
I'd intended on listing a great deal of complaints here, but I've decided they're far too numerous to go into. I've got things to do, and I can't cater to everyone. I'm a busy man. Of course, I will stop to mention that Crabbe closed the window after my owl delivered my letter from My Mother and as a result, he was trapped in the dormitory for nearly three hours. I'm starting to suspect that Crabbe is attempting to build a rivalry between himself and my owl. The last time anyone started acting this way towards my owl, he was killed and I had to get another. I rather think it's understandable that I'd be suspicious of anyone's motives towards my pets now.
And finally we have Potter. Actually, I have nothing to say about Potter right now. Further proof of my generosity, I'm sure.
Now I think I'll go celebrate being the wonder that is me by going to sleep.
Comments:
| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 12:45 am UTC |
Well, of course he can. It's the principle of the thing. How would you like it if I were walking around carving voodoo owls with little white feathers?
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 12:58 am UTC |
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Of course I can carve. I am multitalented.
| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 01:00 am UTC |
Well I'm impressed, but I think you should leave Hedwig out of it.
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 01:06 am UTC |
Hedwig's no match for a genius carver like you. It wouldn't be fair.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:25 am UTC |
Perish the thought, Potter. Your owl couldn't carve her way out of a very easy to carve bag.
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 01:26 am UTC |
That was my point. She doesn't have thumbs. So are you persuaded yet?
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:33 am UTC |
Now I don't know what I'm supposed to be persuaded into doing. Feeling bad for your owl, is that it?
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 01:35 am UTC |
No, feeling bad for her is what was supposed to persuade you not to unleash your awe-inspiring carving powers on her.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:38 am UTC |
You're the one who belittled the importance of my owl being stalked by Crabbe.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:43 am UTC |
You underestimate Crabbe's weight, I see. That's rather like you, isn't it?
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 01:46 am UTC |
I really have respect for Crabbe's weight. Alot of respect. But your owl can still take him.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:52 am UTC |
Of course my owl can take him. That's not the point. You're completely insensitive. I think you ought to be dragged into a road and kicked.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 01:56 am UTC |
No, you can't. I've broken your nose at least twice in my recollection.
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 02:00 am UTC |
We could even it up if you wanted. I'm not busy or anything.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 02:03 am UTC |
Oh, that's fabulous. My nose is a bit too busy being attached to my face to be broken, I'm afraid.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 02:19 am UTC |
Shut up. I don't like you any longer. As a matter of fact, I think I will throw you into a road and kick you. Of course, I'll have to wait until you least expect it. When you're sixty, Potter, and find you've had a rib broken by a random bypasser in the road, that will be me.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 02:23 am UTC |
I didn't say what day.
Obviously I'm not going to see if my nose can stay attached to my face while being broken. Instead, I'd infinitely prefer to try it on your nose first, and if it happens to be broken and removed in the process, then at least it won't make much of a difference, it being you. Do you comperehend now?
I'm tired.
| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 02:27 am UTC |
But then I'll have to break your nose twice to make it even. I think you should just stick with the plan that we had.
Me too.
| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 02:32 am UTC |
We're both tired. I'll just break your nose and get it over with. And then we can go to sleep.
(parent)| potterstinks @ 2003-09-09 02:34 am UTC |
I don't think breaking my nose was ever part of 'our' plan.
(parent)| just_harry @ 2003-09-09 02:36 am UTC |
It's a better plan than your plan. If you break mine once and I break yours twice, we'll be up all night.
Or we could just skip it.