potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 17:11:00

Current mood:enraged

You know, I'm starting to suspect that Millicent Bulstrode has severe communication problems. I'd thought so before, of course, but I was never entirely certain if it was that she was simply unwilling to learn or if she had a serious sort of mental disorder. However, in recent weeks, I haven't been able to help noticing that it must, in fact, be a disorder. I shall now present this case to the world.

Proof that Millicent Bulstrode is Unhinged
by Draco Malfoy


For the past month or so, Millicent has been quite sour towards me. Of course, I wouldn't have noticed, as it's not much different from her usual self, except that she threw a parchment broom at my head during Defence Against the Dark Arts two weeks ago. Actually, I wouldn't have known it was Millicent, as I'd been paying apt attention to the lesson, but when I unfolded it, I discovered that it said M. B.

As Malcolm Baddock and Marian Berger aren't in my Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, I feel it's safe to assume that this was an act of Millicent's inexplicable anger.

I, however, was not yet convinced at this point that Millicent was acting awry. After all, Millicent is a surly girl. It wouldn't be entirely odd for her to send a parchment broom at my head, though, of course, it was needlessly violent.

During our first Quidditch practice with our new Chaser and Beater, while I organised the team and explained how we do things, Millicent spent the entire practice whacking the Snitch to the other side of the pitch each time it came near me. Since Millicent is rather similar to a dog anyway, I assumed she was trying to play fetch and let it pass.

In History of Magic, we're seated alphabetically this term, so I sit next to Macmillan, unfortunate as it is. Millicent, of course, sits next to Bones, a good five rows away. However, when I entered History of Magic last Wednesday, Millicent's rucksack was spread all over my seat and desk. I ask you, does this seem normal? It's not as though she was merely resting her books there due to the incredible effort it took to cross from the door of the classroom to her seat. It's not as though she was pacing herself. She was in her seat. She was settled. And so were her books. They were settled IN MY CHAIR.

Being an intelligent young wizard, I realised that something was wrong and moved the books to Midgen's seat.

Naturally I tried to speak to Millicent at lunch, but she, it turned out, wasn't having any of that. In fact, all she did was speak to Pansy, though it appeared that what she was saying to Pansy was meant for me to hear. After all, I can't imagine why Pansy would care that Millicent was going to be late for Quidditch practice, or why Millicent felt it necessary to inform her.

I can't see why Millicent's become so hostile towards me. She's completely unresponsive. For instance, when her cat jumped on my leg yesterday and dragged itself all the way from my knee to my ankle, Millicent didn't even flinch when I kicked it. She also showed no concern whatsoever for my leg, which, by the way, now has three vertical lines gouged down it as though someone has forked me. My skin may never be the same. But have I turned Pins into some sort of domestic animal control centre? No. Because I'm a generous person. I could, but I haven't. Millicent, on the other hand, seems to be simply asking for someone to turn her cat in to get killed.

I'm not sure if this is just a cry for attention or what. I've thought of having My Father do something about this, but as it's only Millicent, it doesn't seem necessary. I am, of course, used to people becoming irrationally angry at me. Those of us who are privileged have always had to suffer things like that. However, Millicent must be mentally unbalanced, because I've done absolutely nothing to her and she's acting like a schizophrenic.

Staff, you may do what you will.

Comments:

la_pensee @ 2003-10-09 02:01 pm UTC

Cut her nails, if you want.

M. B.

potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 02:07 pm UTC

By 'cut', does that mean I can rip them out and you won't mind? Why, Millicent, how thoughtful of you to say so.

(parent)
la_pensee @ 2003-10-09 02:09 pm UTC

I forgot you cannot do anything right, so no.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 02:11 pm UTC

Oh, do I not take parchment brooms to the head correctly?

(parent)
la_pensee @ 2003-10-09 02:13 pm UTC

I was aiming for your eye.

And you moved.

That is so like you.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 02:17 pm UTC

What, exactly, is your mental duress? Is this because I can whistle and you can't?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 02:21 pm UTC

Yes, yes that is exactly it.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 02:29 pm UTC

WHAT IS YOUR HANDICAP, MILLICENT?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 02:37 pm UTC

I was mad at you for something.

Interestingly enough, I cannot remember what.

What are you up to.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 02:49 pm UTC

Oh, well, you know, this and that.

I think you do know, as a matter of fact. I think you're avoiding the issue, as per usual.

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 03:14 pm UTC

Hmm.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 03:18 pm UTC

Yes?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 03:25 pm UTC

Terry Boot got me Silk Souffles today.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 03:39 pm UTC

And?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 03:40 pm UTC

You like them, too.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 03:52 pm UTC

Oh, I do?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 03:54 pm UTC

Yes, you do.

Do not argue with me about your diet.

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 03:55 pm UTC

Why? Will you put your books in my bed?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 03:58 pm UTC

I would, but I suspect you prefer to steal them.

Makes you feel more macho, perhaps?

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 04:00 pm UTC

Why would I steal your books?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 04:02 pm UTC

Makes you feel more macho, perhaps?

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 04:04 pm UTC

Why would I need to feel more manly?

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 04:05 pm UTC

So you can take on the heaving bosoms and crimson lips in my novels?

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 04:51 pm UTC

I'm quite manly enough for heaving bosoms.

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 04:52 pm UTC

Silk Souffles?

M. B.

(parent)
potterstinks @ 2003-10-09 04:54 pm UTC

Fine.

(parent)
petitemillicent @ 2003-10-09 05:01 pm UTC

Bon.

M. B.

(parent)