| purestblood @ 2002-08-22 01:01:00 |
| Current mood: | irritated |
| Current music: | "That Old Black Magic" by Dead Toms in Leather |
That sodding school
Well, I have made a decision. Based on recent events, I am transferring Draco to Durmstrang next year, unless Draco comes up with a good reason for me not to do so.
What precipated this decision? I assure you, the decision to transfer Draco to another school other than my alma mater was not made lightly.
I am sure that all are aware of the unfortunate events that have transpired recently between Ron Weasley and Draco. Young Mr. Weasley seems to have quite the fascination with rodents. I'm sure that's all the Weasleys can afford to feed their family, but I do not appreciate My Son being hexed so that he resembles a rabbit. The Weasleys have always suffered from a lack of imagination. Poor Draco had no choice but to defend himself, which, as you can see, he did admirably.
As a result of actions taken by young Mr. Weasley, Draco was forced to serve detention and all manner of horrific events were visited upon him. He was attacked by a grindylow. Small they may be, but harmless, no. His nose could have been broken. Narcissa was quite beside herself at the news. Then I find out that my son, the heir to the not inconsiderable Malfoy fortune, was coated in clabbert dung! It will take months to get the smell off of him. Is this considered appropriate treatment for the scion of one of the Wizarding World's most influential families?
I went to the Ministry and paid a visit to Arthur Weasley, to give him some friendly parenting advice. Certainly he has been far too lax in the raising of his offspring, what with Virginia cavorting about with future Dark Lords, (yes, Virginia, there is a Tom Riddle), Percy trying unsuccessfully to remove the very large stick that seems to be permanently lodged inside his rectum, two very out of control twins who find nothing better to do than turn others into large birds, and a son who hexes anything that moves with no provocation whatsoever.
The meeting did not go well. In true Weasley fashion, Arthur became enraged and leveled a punch at me! First Sirius, now Arthur. Really, I am aware that others are envious of my status and position, not to mention my very large, er, assets, but honestly. There are other ways to channel that energy. However, the mediwizards assure me that my nose will return to its usual aquiline state quite soon. I'd sue Weasley, but there's nothing he has that I could ever dream of wanting.
I am hiring a private investigator to look into the various atrocities that are being perpetrated upon Draco. First his bed is gradually being lowered, (and, as you all know, Malfoys do not sleep on the floor; that is for Weasleys), and now someone has sent him a voodoo doll, which, besides being laughable, is so last year. I have just the private investigator in mind, however. Hopefully the mystery will be solved.
To top things off, Draco was forced to watch a unicorn give birth. Now, there are some things men should not be forced to see, and placenta, or any form of afterbirth whatsoever, is among them. Things like that are best left to women. We men have much more weighty responsibilities.
Narcissa is off staying at our home in Crete, trying to "rediscover the woman within". I have refrained from directing her to Professor Lupin, who I am sure will be all too willing to allow her, too, to re-experience the "miracle of birth". I do confess to wondering just what werewolves get up to underneath the full moon. I must ask Draco if the unicorn had any wolf-like features. He might just have stumbled upon the birth of a new magical species.
I must go now. Severus is coming to visit the Manor this weekend, and I must ensure that all is in order for him. I must order more bath salts and loofahs. I have a new chess set from Turkey that I am just dying to break in. I'm sure Severus will be more than happy to demonstrate his chess moves and other techniques for me.
Comments:
| blushcrush @ 2002-08-21 11:53 pm UTC |
Mr. Malfoy,
"Cavorting" is not really the right word for my time spent under the Dark Lord's power. I am sure it fairly well describes the time you spend with Him, though.
Virginia Weasley
| purestblood @ 2002-08-22 12:18 am UTC |
Miss Weasley,
I am fully aware of your actions while working with Tom. Whether or not you did so willingly is not for me to discern.
However, you are right. I do not consider killing roosters, daubing messages in blood upon the walls of Hogwarts, and opening the Chamber of Secrets to be "cavorting". I stand corrected. Perhaps "Assisting" would be a more appropriate term.
Tom sends his love.
Lucius Malfoy
| knight_to_h3 @ 2002-08-22 12:35 am UTC |
Dobby sends his socks!
Get the hell away from my sister, you father of ferret!
| purestblood @ 2002-08-22 12:42 am UTC |
I can see that you have inherited your father's tasteful mastery of the English language. You Weasleys are all so eloquent.
If you'd care to notice, I am nowhere near your sister, nor Hogwarts in general.
Lucius Malfoy
| knight_to_h3 @ 2002-08-22 12:47 am UTC |
I can see where your mini-ferret got his fleas!
RONALD WEASLEY
| potions_master @ 2002-08-22 12:51 am UTC |
Lucius,
Do stop teasing the little Gryffindors. They are not equipped to handle your superb sense of humor.
-Severus
| just_harry @ 2002-08-22 05:44 am UTC |
Mr. Malfoy,
I don't think Ginny was cavorting with Voldemort, or Tom Riddle. It's really weird how she just got that exact diary randomly. I guess you would know alot about that diary though, wouldn't you? I'm glad you have it back now. Is it back under the drawing-room floor?
And I don't think sending your son to Durmstrang so he doesn't get attacked by grindylows is a really great example of good parenting. Mr. Weasley is a really good father, maybe you should ask him for advice.
Sincerely,
Harry Potter
| purestblood @ 2002-08-22 03:41 pm UTC |
Harry,
I do so appreciate your thoughts on good parenting. I'm sure your father provided a shining example for you to follow. Oh, I just remembered--he's dead. My mistake.
As for Arthur Weasley, do you really think the behavior of his children is a testament to his parenting skills? Or to Molly's? You, growing up an orphan, at least had sense enough to stay out of the line of fire in the events that transpired recently. Pity Ron can't learn a lesson or two from you.
Lucius Malfoy
| just_harry @ 2002-08-22 04:28 pm UTC Re: |
Mr. Malfoy,
I guess my dad really didn't get the chance to show me what a good father was. I'm sure you'd stand up to Voldemort for Draco, too, wouldn't you?
I really don't think you ought to talk about children being just like their parents. I mean, but I guess Draco really shows off your best qualities. He pays more attention to everyone's business than his own too. I haven't seen him kissing anyone's robes, though.
Harry Potter
| purestblood @ 2002-08-22 11:44 pm UTC |
Harry,
Your unfortunate propensity to get involved in matters which have no bearing on you has proved to be nearly fatal in the past. You'd do well to learn a lesson from that, and soon.
Lucius Malfoy