One day, whilst playing football in the yard...
______________________________
                              |
              ------------    |
              |SMASH!!!  |    |
              |   \/\ /  |    |
              |   / __--/|    |  @@
              | \-\/  \/ |    |  @o\
              |   /\__/\ |    |  | >
  |~~|        |   \/  /  |    | /\ O-----
  |  |        |    |__\  |    |/  -  W   \
  |00|        -----|------    |  /\\//    \
  | >|             |          | /  \/      \
  \ O/ --------------------------Oh crikey! \
   \#              |          |/             \
  /  \             |          |              DERRRENNNNN!
 ||  ||            |          |
 ||  ||___________/___________|__________________________
 ||  ||          /
 ||  ||         /                         ~~~~
 VV  VV        /                          O   \
  ====\       /         You're for it    C   @|
  |  _ \     /          now! Old man     |    |
  | | \ \               Granger saw----- >    /
  | |  \ \  /\          you kicking       \__/
  | |   \ \/ /          the ball!         /  \
  | |    \  /                            ||   |
  | |     \/                             ||   |
  | |__                                  ||   |
  |____|                                 ||   |
---------------------------------------------------------
  Some time later...
  __________
 |          |
 |    @@@   |                                       |~~|
 |    O O -----------OK Derren, off you go now,     |  |
 |   ( > )  |        there's a good lad!           o|00|
 |    \V/   |                                       |< |
 |    / \   |  Wow! I thought you'd be            o \~ /
 |   |   |  |  suspended! How did you do it?         #/
 |   |   |  |  Your powers of mind control       o  /  \
 |   |   |  |  must be phenomenal!!                ||  ||
 |   |   |  |                  |                o  ||  ||
 |   /===\  |                  |               o   ||  ||
 |    | |   |          ~~~~    |    (It was only)  ||  ||
 |    | |   |         /   O    |    (a blow job)   VV  VV
 |    | |   |         |@   C   /                    ====
 |    | |   |         |    |  /                    |   |
 |   == ==  |         \    <--                     | | |
-----------------------\__/------------------------| | |
                       /  \                        | | |
                      |   ||                       | | |
                      |   ||                     __| | |
                      |   ||                    |_ __| |
                      |   ||                      |____|
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