notapipe @ May 12 2003, 07:45:11 UTC

I think she's lying now.

zorb @ May 12 2003, 08:02:44 UTC

Has to be. No lying under Veritaserum.

Lavender has issues.

neveth @ May 12 2003, 08:33:59 UTC

I almost feel sorry for Lavender. She can't escape from the illusion many girls have that marrige is a perfect thing and life HAS to be 'Mummy, Daddy, and babies'. She needs someone to tell her that her father leaving is NOT her fault, and that becoming tiny won't make him stay. That seems to be the unveiled root of it all, for Lavender, that she wants to be tiny and childlike again so her father will stay.

notapipe @ May 12 2003, 12:31:19 UTC

Wow, I didn't notice that. Her horrible "normal = Mummies and Daddies and babies :)) ^_^ <3 (*.#) ^^" becomes all the more issue-ful. I wonder which is the cart and which is the horse? The divorce or her unhealthy and narrow-minded traditional notion of the nuclear family?

neveth @ May 12 2003, 13:00:57 UTC

I think the divorce exacerbated her traditional notion of the family, making it narrow minded. It, argh, sorry, I'll have to explain better when I get home.

neveth @ May 12 2003, 14:07:26 UTC

Okay here goes:

Lavender can't see why everyone at Hogwarts (except a few) is coming down on her for the things she said about Lupin staying a wedding, so it could be perfect. She sees the world through the lens of Teen magazines and romance novels, that the Girl finds her True Love, marries him, hand lives happily ever after, complete with babies. That's how she really thinks the world should be.

Now, Divorce throws this mindset a set of problems and realities that it cannot cope with. It cannot be the Girl's fault because he is her One True Love, it must be something else. So Lavender blames herself for her parents divorce, thinking it must be something she's done.She needs to have a nice long talk with a councillor or her parents about this.

ungemmed @ May 12 2003, 16:54:40 UTC

One thing I thought was pretty telling was a particular trick of phrasing: "so I look like I was when I was a little girl and mommy and daddy were happy," or something to that effect (can't find actual post.) I remember reading somewhere (once again, argh, I can't find the link...) that a large (subconscious) component of anorexia in some people was the wish to avoid maturity/adulthood by starving themselves so they literally have the body of a small child.

Hm. While searching for the site I read that on I found these interesting things.
http://www.anred.com/causes.html

Also, once a person begins to starve, stuff, or purge, those behaviors in and of themselves can alter brain chemistry and prolong the disorder. For example, both undereating and overeating can activate brain chemicals that produce feelings of peace and euphoria, thus temporarily dispelling anxiety and depression. In fact some researchers believe that eating disordered folks may be using food to self-medicate painful feelings and distressing moods.

...

People vulnerable to eating disorders also, in most cases, are experiencing relationship problems, loneliness in particular. Some may be withdrawn with only superficial or conflicted connections to other people. Others may seem to be living exciting lives filled with friends and social activities, but later they will confess that they did not feel they really fit in, that no one seemed to really understand them, and that they had no true friends or confidants with whom they could share thoughts, feelings, doubts, insecurities, fears, hopes, ambitions, and so forth. Often they desperately want healthy connections to others but fear criticism and rejection if their perceived flaws and shortcomings become known.

Hm.

Manymany congratulations to Lav's player.

jgoreham @ May 12 2003, 20:14:32 UTC

O_o;; somebody did a lot of research!

I guess I don't understand why she's now denying her parent's (upcomming?) divorce. Unfortunately, divorce seems really common nowadays, I can only think of a couple of friends off the top of my head whose parents aren't divorced. *shrugg*

Lavender's really interesting right now because she seems to have "real" problems (as opposed to, say, Neville, who's being accused of being an evil genius. That doesn't happen too often in real life =^^=;; )

Anonymous @ May 12 2003, 21:23:13 UTC

I think Lavender's response is very common in children of people who are in the process of splitting up. Society is built around the "traditional" family. Some time when you go out, look for things who's target market is the family.

I'm surprised that divorce hasn't been brought up before. Muggle divorce rates were at an all-time of 50% in the US the last time I looked at stats (I think it was for '00 or '01) Does anyone know the stats in the UK for 1996? (I think that is the year the game is supposed to take place in) I'm rather curious.

Lavender needs to make some other friends, or at least someone who understands what she's going through and can assure her that everything will be ok in the end.