Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 14:20:46 UTC Also

He's only got three userpictures now, and he's still got a paid account. Perhaps he's getting new ones, but it's been over ten minutes now...

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 14:36:13 UTC Re: Also

I was totally confused for a while there--I thought you meant Harry still had three and I was like, um, yeah...so what?

But no no! It's Draco that's got three now! But still with the paid account...what is going on?

jitter_bug @ May 22 2003, 14:42:11 UTC Re: Also

And his default icon is "I have a shapely girlfriend." Right. Just make sure you don't get swamped with moth-ball scented coats in that closet of yours, Draco.

dragynville @ May 22 2003, 14:56:47 UTC Re: Also

Hmm.. but used today in this thread, the popup for it states "I strike fear into the hearts of many." o_O

tabiji @ May 22 2003, 14:47:16 UTC

Uh-oh. Ron only has 3 userpics now too.

Grrreat...if they're all going to only have 3 pics each now everything will be that much harder to interpret.
*sobs*

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 14:51:05 UTC

Some of the stuff about LJ accounts sounded kind of insidery to me, a private joke among players, maybe? But I agree that his sour mood here is interesting.

I'm ever so sorry if you had other ideas that I would be more fun.

Sounds like he had a disappointing encounter with someone, which is very sad after yesterday's opening-up. At last check, it might have been his visit "outside" with Harry, or a visit to McGonagall with Seamus. So I'm looking out for evidence of other people's hurt feelings.

The business about the bed legs being sawed off bewilders me. I'm also trying to figure out the significance of the entry and comments that he linked to, beyond the common reference to his bed shrinking. It contains an old rant against Hogwarts, and an old quarrel with Hermione. I thought his heterosexuality might be acting up, although there's the very revealing comment that his porno mags were a gift from his father and were still in their wrappers. There's a lot of Pansy stuff, and also some implicit dialog with his father.

Could Pansy, whom we haven't heard from, have started playing head games with him over his friendship with Harry and Seamus? Could his father have weighed in with a private owl?

I don't know that the puzzle is meant to be solvable at this point. But it does look like something has made him feel that he overextended himself yesterday, has made him self-conscious and prickly once again.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 15:06:47 UTC

the lj stuff might be cause lj has been SLOW AS HELL for like a week now, lol. the last paragraph on his entry sounds like it's talking to everyone but the stuff in it's so specific..... also he added it as "not exactly reliable." to his memories.

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 15:19:16 UTC

you can always turn to Weasley

This could be read to suggest that the whole last graph is addressed to Harry.

I noticed at the time that while they stopped talking yesterday after Harry implicitly invited him outside, it's not clear that Draco actually did go out to meet him. Half an hour after Harry's last post, Draco is posting his own long summary of the day's events. (Timestamps, I know, I know.) But it's at least possible that Draco blew off the implied meeting, and they had words about it.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 15:27:20 UTC

yeah i read that as seeming like it was directed at harry too. it sounds like the first part is more general and then as he goes on he forgets to make it that way and is just talking to harry...

greenapricot @ May 22 2003, 16:00:59 UTC

I think Draco did blow him off. Reliability is italicized, implying, perhaps, that Harry said he was unreliable for not showing up to their meeting. Or maybe he's trying to say that Harry shouldn't expect him to just run out to meet him whenever he suggests it.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 16:04:38 UTC

I thought the same thing about that last paragraph being directed at Harry.

And I think your theory is really plausible, especially since he italicizes reliability. I wouldn't be surprised if Harry confronted Draco about missing the meeting and accused him of being unreliable. The reliability might even apply to Draco's moods in general. Harry is obviously patient with Draco, probably because like the rest of us he sees the potential in Draco. But I can see Harry being pissed about Draco not meeting him and suddenly saying something like, "What is it with you?! Do you want to be my friend or not? I'm never sure with you!!" Or well, something along those lines.

Also reading that last paragraph it seems that whoever he argued with (which I'll assume is Harry for now) brought up something about there being more to Draco then meets the eye; a better person behind the snarkiness. Maybe Draco asked Harry why he liked him anyway and Harry responded with something along those lines. This would account for the whole 'what you see is what you get' comment, and the 'i don't sit around reflecting' comment. Although, that might be reading too much into it.

zhonnika @ May 22 2003, 15:54:24 UTC

From glancing at Harry's reply to him, I agree. It does sound like he's addressing Harry. Hrm...

tabiji @ May 22 2003, 15:58:36 UTC

Sounds like Harry got ticked that Draco's been hanging out with him a lot but still won't admit it in front of other people?

conversant @ May 22 2003, 16:01:42 UTC

Yes, but what does the reply mean? I thought you said you didn't care about being cryptic to hide identities. Is it, "If you've got something to say to me, just say it"? Or does it call into question the paragraph's apparent implications, as in, "I thought you were going to give up pretending to hate us, so what's with the pretense of contempt?"

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 17:05:58 UTC

I think it's the first. Just watching the thread develop, it seems that they've had a fight, that at least one issue was Draco's perception that Harry was wanting/expecting him to be more like Ron -- Harry seems to have called something about Draco "stupid," and then tried to clarify.

It really is an intense conversation, isn't it? Draco's issues seem to be whether Harry really sees him clearly enough for their friendship -- if any friendship is possible, here -- to be real. And Harry has been confronting Draco. About what? I think Harry has too much sense to try and change Draco fundamentally, but could he be making an appeal to Draco to resist something self-destructive, self-defeating in his own nature? To be more himself, and less of a caricature?

I'm not sure I understand why they're digressing about Colin's meeting, even though Draco raised the issue. Harry asks, "What made you think any of it? I explained it to you." Any of what? Explained what? Was Harry trying to explain that he really wasn't trying to change and reform Draco? Or am I off on an unsupported tangent here?

conversant @ May 22 2003, 17:57:00 UTC

Well, at least Draco admits that to being as dizzy by the unclear references in this conversation as we are: What are you talking about? What is because of what? Saying what? Who?

I thought maybe they were getting somewhere with this post from J_H: I don't care if you go to Colin's stupid meeting. Why'd you think I ever cared? I mean, you're czar, aren't you? What made you think any of it? I explained to you. Remember that part where you laughed? Have you just decided what I think for me?
I was hopeful that the reminder that they'd shared a laugh would be a step forward in the conversation, along with the reminder that they share a sense of the absurdity of much of what's currently going on amongst their classmates.

I was also hoping that PS would see J_H's comment as a declaration of J_H's ability to appreciate PS's sardonic side. J_H's not offended by PS's attendance at Colin's meeting because he can see that PS went to mock Colin and the others. I think J_H may hope that PS's usurpation of the club (by proclaiming himself czar, then adjourning the meeting) is really a sign that PS feels protective of J_H. This may be a mistake: it may be that PS meant only to underscore his possessive claim to be J_H's number one nemesis and most formidable enemy (in which case, we should be forgiven for feeling that PS has simply not realised that this possessiveness is really protectiveness and affection).

I also applauded J_H's last point in this post: Have you just decided what I think for me? It's a question that needs to be asked/answered every bit as urgently as PS has needed to ask if J_H is really responding to and liking the *real* PS or whether all this positive attention is merely a result of a fantasy on J_H's part.

But, sigh... The conversation took a turn for the worse. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. They seem to make a habit of getting to the verge of a breakthrough only to fumble it and go off in separate huffs.

They're impossible, you know!

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 18:32:19 UTC Re:

Ugh, LJ seems to be messed up and not displaying all the subthreads. So I'll answer you through Yahoo.

I think you've put your finger on the two really touchy points in their relationship -- Draco's desire for control, to play both parts in any conversation and immunize himself from letting another personality challenge him, and Draco's fear that JH really doesn't see him for himself, is just responding to his own fantasy. And the combination creates kind of a tough knot to untie, because it means that Draco is locked in a sort of echo chamber where he's only hearing his own doubts, and can't hear the reassurance that he needs, no matter what PS tries to tell him.

So I'm not surprised that this conversation failed, but I think the fact that they both went at it for so long is a good sign, a sign that they take each other seriously. It's also possible that Draco just wasn't willing to continue in front of Ron, that his issues were too personal for that. In particular, he seems to keep citing Ron's behavior as evidence for Harry's feelings, which suggests some real issues of jealousy/rivalry with Ron. Maybe Harry and Draco will be able to continue with this more privately, off-line.

The issue of what kind of claim Harry can make on Draco is a really interesting one. A number of people have assumed that he's trying to redeem or change him, or have even bought into Draco's own suggestion that Harry is acting out a fantasy and not seeing Draco clearly. I really believe Harry is more subtle than that. I don't think Harry thinks he's entitled to demand a full account of Draco's behavior and personality. I do think he's entitled to point out contradictions in Draco's behavior; to refuse to be an enabler for Draco having things both ways, and to insist on some basic respect from Draco. That's pretty basic stuff, but we can see how threatening it is for Draco to be called out on anything that limits his narcissistic freedom to "act out" from moment to moment. "You want to turn me into a Weasley!"

I like Harry's anger throughout this exchange. And I suspect that he's not enduringly angry about anything specific that Draco did (though a momentary fight was probably the pretext for all this) as he is angry at the way Draco keeps evading, misrepresenting, refusing to engage the issue. You can be friends with a difficult person, but you really can't have any kind of relationship with someone who has no stable center, is always a chameleon. So Harry's anger, I think, is partly a reflection of a desire to be closer to Draco, an impatience with his constant evasiveness.

But more than that, I think it reflects a healthy insight into Draco's own chief source of unhappiness and personal disorganization -- the fact that he won't examine, won't work with the things that are agitating him inside. It seems like Draco wants to be free to act out his contradictory impulses as they dominate him from moment to moment, without spending any time at all on introspection. But if he keeps doing that, he'll never figure out who he really is and what he really cares about.

conversant @ May 23 2003, 04:29:58 UTC

Draco's desire for control, to play both parts in any conversation and immunize himself from letting another personality challenge him, and Draco's fear that JH really doesn't see him for himself, is just responding to his own fantasy. And the combination creates kind of a tough knot to untie, because it means that Draco is locked in a sort of echo chamber where he's only hearing his own doubts, and can't hear the reassurance that he needs, no matter what [J_H] tries to tell him.

Yes, exactly. The ironic thing about this argument is that it is PS who is reacting to an imagined version of J_H, not the other way around. -- The J_H he imagines is judgmental, clueless, and cliquish.

My reading of J_H is very different: I see him as a boy who hasn't been very firmly molded by his society's mores (for a number of reasons) and is thus rather flexible or lenient in his judgments about PS's character and actions.

I also see J_H as surprisingly mature and observant compared with most fanon!Harrys: he seems able to take a relatively calm view of all the juvenile factions that swirl around him; he cares about his friends and shows tolerance of their bouts of immaturity; and he is incredibly patient with Draco and Ron (and Hermione when she's in SPEW-mode).

He will need to continue to be patient if he is to convince PS that there really is room for him in J_H's circle. I'm encouraged that Ron is doing his part to allow PS to build his own place in that group. With regard to cliquishness, if it exists, it's only because others behave as though it does (Justin, for instance) or because they fail to behave themselves (Colin, who could have been a friend if he'd not been such an idiot; he certainly had more access and acceptance than his repulsive fannishness merited).

I'm not sure that I completely believe in J_H's grounding in canon. He seems a bit too zen-masterish, although I'll concede that he has his moments of melodrama (sleeping in the WC, for instance). That said, I like J_H very much and I think he's the perfect partner for PS. If anyone can break through to PS and show him how fulfilling and completing a relationship could be, it's J_H.

One last thing, BD. Your final paragraph gave me a little hope: It seems like Draco wants to be free to act out his contradictory impulses as they dominate him from moment to moment, without spending any time at all on introspection. But if he keeps doing that, he'll never figure out who he really is and what he really cares about. I still have high hopes for the hours he spent with that head of lettuce. Perhaps J_H should invite him to Hogsmeade for a salad tea one of these days. (Oh, wait. PS said he doesn't sit around with a cuppa and meditate. Hrm.)

sistermagpie @ May 23 2003, 05:59:29 UTC

I love all of these points! Especially--I would have bolded it too--the thing about ps hearing his own doubts echoed back to him.

The more I think about this exchange, the more it seems like ps is fighting with himself here and not Harry. He has this thread archived under Why Potter Should Not Have Lived and the one about proof of his unfair treatment at Hogwarts and the title of it is "not exactly reliable."

If this is what Harry said, it's hardly anything to get worked up about! And I also love that Harry brought up ps laughing about something--up until now we've never gotten a hint as to what ps is like with Harry except in his own posts, in which he always presents himself as rolling his eyes at Harry's antics. Here Harry finally makes a direct reference to ps actually laughing--and he giggles with Seamus as well. In both cases I think it's clear we're not talking about his usual laughter at someone else looking stupid, but genuine good-natured laughter.

Anyway, I feel like ps is not really upset here by Harry at all, since Harry has always freely told him the flaws he saw in his personality. The fear here seems to come from the fact that ps is starting to tell himself about these flaws and as usual he's just projecting that voice onto somebody else. It's not that Harry has suddenly started to want to change Draco into anybody, it's that Draco is now seeing himself from Harry's pov for real. He may be starting to realize that he actually doesn't like hurting Harry but doesn't know how to do anything else to him. I think Harry has been saying the type of thing he said to Draco this time all along, but Draco's now really hearing it and he hates that. Unable to accept that he himself is freely changing he has to pretend that Harry is changing him against his will.

black_dog @ May 23 2003, 17:40:14 UTC Re:

Oooh, much to agree with and disagree with. Very fun!

We agree, I think, about the way that PS is misreading JH. But I'm very intrigued by your take on JH himself.

I think your suggestion is that a "very mature and observant" Harry is patiently trying to socialize PS, gradually pulling him into the Gryffindor clique. But I wonder about this on two points: 1. I think this is precisely what PS, unreasonably, fears; and 2. I think it attributes too much maturity to Harry, and makes him the "benefactor" in this relationship rather than someone who needs it as much as PS does.

I think that it's easy to misread Harry much the way one misreads a cat -- his relative quietness and unflappability is mistaken for self-possession and self-sufficiency, when really, it's just a sort of emotional numbness and absence. I think JH is messed up in many ways.

I agree that JH is very, very perceptive and observant, but he's so inward I think he's guilty of being too passive, socially, and too ineffective in many of his relationships. Susan Bones, for one, but Colin is maybe the best example. Harry really sort of strung him along, without really giving him the time of day, when a more honest response would have been to just tell Colin why he drove him crazy and either break things off or see if a real friendship could have been built on Colin's obvious affection for him. I agree Colin is incredibly irritating but Harry's response was passive-aggressive and kind of irresponsible, and I sympathize to some extent with how hurt Colin is. And it's a good example of how Harry's own issues, his inability to deal with the TBWL thing, his oddly narcissistic and self-obsessed determination not to stand out, make him not always a very good person.

Because he is so inhibited and so prickly about so many things, JH strikes me in general as someone who only comes fully alive, is only fully himself, when he is provoked or drawn out by someone else, so that he sort of gets over himself and gets lost in the moment. And I think this is the feeling, this is the stimulation, that he gets from PS. I think he really, really needs PS, and knows it.

And I think the intensity of this need means that the "clique" may genuinely be at risk from JH's infatuation with PS. Of course, JH will work hard to keep his old friendships -- and maybe more importantly his wiser friends will make efforts to accommodate the new reality. (It really makes me smile to see Seamus' effort, and I'm really impressed with Ron "biting his tongue.") But really, thinking back to high school, first loves and changes in who you spent time with really wreaked havoc with pre-existing patterns of friendship. I don't think JH wants to bring PS into the Gryffindor clique. I think he wants a relationship with JH, badly enough that there are going to have to be some real adjustments in his Gryffindor relationships.

Well, interesting to turn this around and look at it through JH's needs, rather than PS's. Do you agree, or am I coming from Mars here?

sistermagpie @ May 23 2003, 20:11:13 UTC

Well, interesting to turn this around and look at it through JH's needs, rather than PS's. Do you agree, or am I coming from Mars here?

I love this!!! j_h is hard to read for so many reasons. ps's personality completely lends itself to a journal--you can see him sitting down with a flourish and playing to his intended audience. He's an actor and wants to connect with the people.

Harry doesn't want to post in his journal at all, but being HP he has to. His entries are all aggressively normal. In his own way he's playing just as much a part as ps, though he seems to dislike it more. I definitely don't think j_h wants to bring ps into the Gryffindor clique. On the contrary I think Harry wants to be able to continue to be the person he is when he's with Draco alone, whoever that is.

I think it's VERY important that j_h and ps are both learning from each other. The goal here isn't for ps to evolve into j_h who, as you said and I agree, has his own problems. I think he is very passive and numb a lot of the time. He has this, "I just thought/I guess/maybe/sort of" tone in his posts. Except when he starts to get *ahem* enraged and then he drops that and sounds more confident. Usually he does this with Draco or recently Lucius.

So what does j_h get from ps? Well one thing the two of them have in common, imo, is a fear of being displaced. ps gets angry when Narcissa pays too much attention to Harry but look at how threatened Harry is by Remus and Sirius! Both their parties ended up being about Harry. After the first one he left (upset by how happy R/S were together and feeling like a third wheel) and they spent hours searching for him. After the wedding he locked himself in the bathroom (upset by their wanting children more than anything, imo, but the James revelation might add to his feelings of not belonging). Ron seems perplexed by Harry's reactions here, but surely ps understands. How are these actions of Harry's all that different from ps's weekend in the theater, save for that nobody comes to look for ps? And even with their coming to look for him Harry still doesn't feel like somebody's child. Another thing ps & j_h have in common is a troublesome public persona. If Harry's acting OOC everybody wants to know why because he's TBWL. But Draco has this same problem; people are "disappointed" when he's not enraged.

Right now it seems like Draco's the one most in denial about his emotions but maybe that's just because his emotions are so close to the surface we can see them even if he can't. Draco has always dealt with his unhappiness by getting angry, kicking things and demanding attention. Harry becomes passive, hiding anger and accepting what he's given. (One wonders what *his* protection spell would have looked like--invisibility cloak, perhaps?) I mean, look at Harry's reaction to the outing. He deleted his journal (invisibility cloak) and told everybody to leave Draco alone (act like nothing happened, I don't want any more attention). His first post back is all smiley, with Harry answering everyone's posts in an incredibly chipper way.

Ps may often be wrong about why he feels a certain way but I think he's usually honest about how he does feel even when his feelings are painful and childish. That might be something Harry really does envy. When Remus said he wanted children Harry's post came across as forlorn and resigned, but I'll bet a part of him wanted to respond more in ps mode: "Sorry I'm not child-like enough for you. Perhaps if I put on a diaper on and cried all night long you'd be more fulfilled!" We always think of ps being a case of arrested development but in some ways both ps and j_h are probably frozen in early childhood patterns. Perhaps it's just unfortunate for j_h that his childhood coping mechanisms are more socially acceptable.

notapipe @ May 24 2003, 02:19:45 UTC Shallow!Har'

Holy fuck, I don't think I've put this much thought into J_H's personality in all of my time watching n_a put together. But I think there is a simpler explanation for J_H's interest in PS. Get rid of the s.

black_dog @ May 24 2003, 04:55:53 UTC Re: Shallow!Har'

Actually, do we know for a fact that PS is hot? He's little and he's pointy and he scowls a lot. He's not necessarily UL!Draco or DV!Draco.

True, Hermione thinks he's attractive. But Hermione thinks Ron's attractive.

Just a thought. ;)

black_dog @ May 24 2003, 04:53:09 UTC

Yes, I definitely think you're on to something here!

j_h is hard to read for so many reasons

in some ways both ps and j_h are probably frozen in early childhood patterns. Perhaps it's just unfortunate for j_h that his childhood coping mechanisms are more socially acceptable.

I think that really nails why it's difficult to even discuss JH's problems, or why it's easy not to see him as really having any. He reacts to pain by becoming even more obsessively normal and unobtrusive, so as not to make claims on anybody. And yet as you point out, he really does make these indirect claims, these passive-aggressive claims, so that both of the parties at Dogear "end up being about him." But no one would ever dare attribute that to him deliberately, because he's ordinarily such a good boy.

one thing the two of them have in common, imo, is a fear of being displaced

I definitely think this is a basis for them to understand each other, which is maybe a precondition for any other good things they can do for one another. I was rereading early posts from last May (in a futile effort to reconstruct the whole NA story line!) and noticed something interesting about the first time JH is nice to PS. It's the weekend where Harry had to miss the Cannons game (which Draco then boasted about attending) and Draco tried to beg off a Hogsmeade weekend. It was so clear that although Draco was noisily boasting about his father and his connections and all his reasons for being pleased with the world, the fact was that he didn't want to go to Hogsmeade because he had no friends to go with. And Harry goes out of his way to say something kind, deflects his taunt about missing the Cannons by thanking him for filling him in on the game. It's as though Harry has a moment where he suddenly sees the loneliness behind the facade, and he can relate to it, he sympathizes with it powerfully.

So how does this potential understanding help him? I think Harry must be fascinated with someone who deals with his pain by just negating it and either appropriating or inventing facts about the world that constantly stroke his own ego. Someone who deals with his doubts and anxieties by loudly affirming himself and acting out an assumed confidence and superiority. And Draco on full volume is an asshole, maybe, but a measured dose of what Draco's got might be exactly what Harry needs.

He has this, "I just thought/I guess/maybe/sort of" tone in his posts. Except when he starts to get *ahem* enraged and then he drops that and sounds more confident.

Exactly! He wants some of that enraged stuff for himself, because things are just more fun that way.

I think Harry wants to be able to continue to be the person he is when he's with Draco alone, whoever that is.

Beautifully put, and I really do think this is right. And we only get hints of what he's like when they're together -- the moments of snark against Colin and Sinistra and Millicent and Goyle. The silliness of Gulf or (I assume) the water guns at Dogear. The unselfconscious, presumably affectionate way he can "caddy" or fetch drinks for Draco, when you know Draco's not actually going to be able to dominate or bully him.

Actually I keep thinking about the scene where he was cooking "hamburgs" for Draco and Narcissa. Here's something that must have been so routine and degrading for him at the Dursleys, and here he has a chance to do it for people he cares about, and you can almost see him transforming the meaning of this action in his own mind, reclaiming something ordinary that was tainted by the Dursleys.

[continued]

black_dog @ May 24 2003, 04:53:38 UTC

[continued]

If Harry's acting OOC everybody wants to know why because he's TBWL.

Here, though, I think there's a big difference between them, because I think -- once he's sufficiently pushed to do something -- that Harry is more able to live with the consequences and defy expectations than Draco. The obvious example is that he's brought his friends into line on his interest in PS. But he also stood his ground quite effectively, recently, with Ron oiver the Ginny/Cho thing. PS by contrast needs to constantly be covering for his apparent friendship with Harry. The Seamus/paper doll thing was an interesting exception, because I loved PS' defiance of ridicule immediately afterward, but perhaps some lingering anxiety about whether he had overextended himself here went on to contribute to the off-screen fight with Harry.

Well, endlessly interesting to talk this stuff over with you. It's really helping bring JH into focus, I think, which only makes following the game even more fun.

conversant @ May 24 2003, 14:17:16 UTC

I've missed an interesting turn in this thread today!

It's really helping bring JH into focus, I think... Hmm. I don't think JH is coming into focus yet, and maybe that's a reader's failure on my part. He is such a minimalist presence on LJ that it is really difficult to know what he's like. I agree with all three of you that he's often insecure and withdrawn, but I still am surprised by the way he re-emerged from the "outing" and is apparently standing above it all. He's not circling the wagons with the trio over the anti-Potter society, and he's not reacted in a way I understand to the hurtful things PS has said and done. Instead, he's more or less pretended that they were a fit and has extended a patient hand to wait out PS and welcome him back. This is what I meant when I said he seems zen-masterish to me -- and I find it really hard to reconcile that part of JH with the hurt child who is so demanding with Remus and Sirius.

To go back to my last post and respond to a bit of BD's answer -- I must not have been clear about my view of cliquishness: PS thinks it exists, as do Ernie and Justin and others, but I don't think JH thinks or behaves this way. He does indisputably have best friends in Ron and Hermione, but that's not cliquishness.

I didn't mean to say that JH intended to draw PS into a Gryffindor clique (though Ron and Seamus seem to see this as a good strategy). Instead, JH seems to think he can spend time with whomever he wishes, and these days he wishes to spend as much time as he can with PS. I think, in fact, that Ron and Seamus are the ones who acknowledge a clique and are seeking to preserve it by adding PS to it.

black_dog @ May 24 2003, 21:52:59 UTC

Well, I suppose "focus" is a relative term when you're dealing with a character as inward and self-concealing as Harry, but I really do think it is a worthwhile challenge to try and interpret him, and I do think there's been some significant, revealing evidence lately.

I think our readings differ on two key points -- my image of a "cat" was my answer to your image of a "zen master" -- I think a person can seem incredibly controlled and self-possessed and even wise, just by suppressing his grosser reactions to things, making himself numb and gritting his teeth and carrying on. My own belief is that in Harry's case this is significantly deceptive -- I do adopt a reading that tries to "see through" that inscrutable surface and find evidence of the cravings and unresolved issues that may be driving Harry.

Our second difference is that I think that any discussion of Harry's "patience" with Draco is going to be misleading unless it reckons with his intense desire for Draco. I don't think he's sitting there like a wise sage waiting for Draco to come to some kind of insight. I really do think that creating a relationship with Draco is an urgent issue for him.

I'm not sure that his reaction to Sirius and Remus really is all that inconsistent with his reaction to Draco. His "hurt child" anxiety about Sirius and Remus is not about any overt injury -- it seems to reflect a pervasive dread, fundamental to Harry's character, about not having a stable emotional foundation, not being able to take for granted the people who provide his ultimate source of security. Authorities have always let Harry down, and here we go again when he thinks Sirius and Remus seem unable to take "family" seriously.

But the whole connection with Draco has a different tone -- he has no claims on, no expectations from Draco so there's no similar fear of betrayal. Draco is wholly Harry's own independent project, his own emotional initiative. And it's maybe the first time in his life he's done something like this, and the very unfamiliarity of it makes it liberating and less burdened with the baggage that parental figures or other archetypical experiences carry for him. So maybe he can react to the ups and downs with Draco more rationally, less neurotically.

I also wonder if the "outing" itself isn't something that was worse in the anticipation than in the reality. I mean, since Harry really is gay, it's got to be at least partly a relief to get the disclosure over with. And he's gotten tremendous emotional support from the people closest to him. And he hasn't even scared Draco off. Far from being a disaster, he probably sees it as a difficult but rewarding rite of passage.

So I don't totally accept the logic that he ought to resent or be slow to forgive Draco. His fear of betrayal by parental figures is not the same as a general cultivation of grievances; he really hasn't been irreparably injured by Draco after all; and he needs Draco and has a deep sympathy for their common emotional shambles, so his reaction is more likely to be empathetic than judgmental. I don't want to take anything away from Harry's insight, or his forbearance, or his charm, but none of this should make Harry super-human, or impossible to interpret.

Fun to agree with you, and also fun to disagree with you, because it makes me think twice and refine my arguments. We may not convert each other, but we'll keep each other on our toes!

Anonymous @ May 24 2003, 20:53:17 UTC

(if i weren't already promised to zorb and quakerlux, i would run away with you. :-*)

black_dog @ May 24 2003, 21:55:56 UTC

*is jealous of zorb and quakerlux* If you can divide your love two ways, why not three? We can take shorter shifts driving.

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 16:11:54 UTC

And Harry states the obvious. Plus, he confirms that the last paragraph was adressed to him.

dragynville @ May 22 2003, 16:39:56 UTC

Oh, and it's just getting better and better isn't it? *death by squee*

hobaggins @ May 22 2003, 16:13:58 UTC

*coughs*

Okay. Joint "Hello! I'm de-lurking" and message of awe.

Is there any sort of initiation process I've to go through? Hot coals to walk over?

I am endlessly impressed with NA *refresh* and with your (plural) commentary regarding. May I join in? I have become disgustingly addicted.

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 16:19:46 UTC You must bring us a... SHRUBBERY!

You have to go seriously short of sleep one night thanks to pressing "refresh" or F5. And yes, join in, please.

hobaggins @ May 22 2003, 16:27:17 UTC Re: You must bring us a... SHRUBBERY!

WHY DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS "F5" OF WHICH YOU SPEAK OF BEFORE

*swoon*

NA is a beautiful beautiful thing. F5 is now my absolute favorite keyboard button. *cossets F5*

hobaggins @ May 22 2003, 16:29:58 UTC Re: You must bring us a... SHRUBBERY!

ALSO: Your icon is seriously worship deserving. Oh man.....

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 16:17:09 UTC

For those befuddled by Draco's reference to an old entry that Harry quoted, the entry is here.

luxuryrevenge @ Deleted Deleted

Deleted

greenapricot @ May 22 2003, 18:13:47 UTC

I believe Harry's unreliable comment was made in a conversation that they had outside of LJ.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 22:18:32 UTC

I adore your icon.

-HedgeMouse

luxuryrevenge @ Deleted Deleted

Deleted

Anonymous @ May 25 2003, 23:50:27 UTC

Wow, thanks. Although I must admit to already having an lj, but I'm still too far in denial about my enjoyment of H/D to use it here. But I couldn't keep myself from commenting, ... Thank you for offering, though.

-HedgeMouse

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 16:40:52 UTC I have a theory..

The comments between Draco and Harry are getting pretty intense , heres Harry attempting to disect Draco's charector while Draco seems to almost be defending himself.
Also it seems as if Draco has been insulted by Harry associating him with Ron.
I'm starting to sense that Draco could quite possible be jealous of Harry and Ron's friendship.

moojja @ May 22 2003, 16:44:11 UTC Re: I have a theory..

I think Draco has always been jealous over Ron, Harry did pick Ron over him. Although the conversation w/Ron in this post was very friendly for P_S. And Ron use the cannon icon when talking to P_S. !squeal!
Ron is definitely trying to get along w/ P_S better now for Harry's sake.

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 17:19:55 UTC Re: I have a theory..

Just because your being nice to some one it dos'nt mean your not jealous.
I am jealous of my dog but that dos'nt mean I kick her.

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 17:16:42 UTC Re: I have a theory..

I think Draco is just overreacting to something innocent Harry said at some point, and is insulted and thinks that Harry wants a NiceAndOOC!Draco. I see no jeleousy, though.

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 17:25:32 UTC Re: I have a theory..

Eh I'm reading far to into it as per usual , just the whole "go to Weasley comment" made me a bit iffy.
Ohhhhh their commenting again * clicks refresh*

moojja @ May 22 2003, 16:40:53 UTC Confused???

Am I the only one that is confused by their conversation. It sounds to me, that they meet previously, and talked. Now they are having an argument over that conversation. Harry apparently said something that pissed Draco off, and now they are dueling it over on the lj. Is that about the gist of it?

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 16:44:07 UTC Re: Confused???

Yep that seems about right.
Wow Draco's starting to sound really upset.
"And of course there's you yourself, seeming genuinely surprised that I'm not quite the side-splitting good time you quite clearly had imagined in your own head"
Perhaps Draco did not quite live up to the "crush" or fantasy Harry has created in his head.

hobaggins @ May 22 2003, 16:46:02 UTC Re: Confused???

The "Where to even begin?" really got me.

It sounds almost defeated under the pissed-off'dness

tabiji @ May 22 2003, 16:52:02 UTC Re: Confused???

Hmmm...I was reading that as his response to Harry's "what kind of an idiot do you think I am".

greenapricot @ May 22 2003, 17:00:04 UTC Re: Confused???

I totally didn't see it like that at first but now that I look at it, you are so right. Suddenly the whole thing makes much more sense.

greenapricot @ May 22 2003, 16:53:32 UTC Re: Confused???

Yes, those words go along with a big sigh, almost like he's tired of arguing about it.

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 17:21:15 UTC Re: Confused???

I can kinda see where Draco's coming from. It's always difficult when some ones built up this expectation of you in their head and then they lash out because you don't fufill their expectations.

bookshop @ May 22 2003, 17:43:26 UTC Re: Confused???

Considering that Lucius pretty much ordered Draco not to have anything to do with Harry, it very well could be defeated, especially if they'd been having a good time before and now something's shifted, which is my personal interpretation.

moojja @ May 22 2003, 16:56:20 UTC Re: Confused???

I think you might be right. "Real Draco" isn't the same as "fantasy Draco", even if he is nicer now. I wonder if Harry would prefer the old Draco back, where he can go on pretending Draco is a lot better and more interesting than he is in reality.

More about Draco, he has expectation that he had to live up to all his life. Mostly from his parents, but also from his classmates, head of house, that he has a certain kind of behavior that he must obey. He must be annoyed finding out that the one person who didn't seem to care, have his own expectations.

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 17:15:25 UTC Re: Confused???

But I think the verdict is out on whether Harry really does have those expectations. Draco seems to feel that Harry is judging him, trying to reshape him, and is upset about it. But I think/hope that Harry is actually making a subtler appeal -- that he cares about Draco as he is, but would just call on him to examine some of his more contradictory behavior. Not to change him from the outside, or in a controlling way, but to help him deal with whatever he's dealing with.

It looks like whatever Harry did/said has set Draco off, made him almost desperately refuse any self-examination. But the very intensity of the conversation suggests that he's gotten under Draco's skin, and that they take the issue seriously, and the relationship seriously, enough to work on it at least a little. I mean, I could see an earlier Draco being much more flippant and just refusing to engage Harry at all, here.

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 17:24:12 UTC Re: Confused???

I'm watching this conversation unfold with baited breath!!!

Here's what it seems like to me at this point from what's going on--and this could be completely wrong. It seems like Harry said something to Draco and I suspect Draco didn't react much to it at the time. But after thinking about it he got angrier or more upset. Harry said something was stupid and that Draco was unrealiable and my guess is Harry like--not insulting but honest--about his personality. It got to him, so he stuck in a thing at the end of his post.

Harry seems to not understand where all this is coming from. Actually, he asks Draco flat out if he's having a fit because Harry said he was unreliable. But Draco sounds like he's probably now freaking out about a lot of things and is throwing things out to confuse the issue.

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 17:28:16 UTC Re: Confused???

::sigh::

I really need to use preview. That sentence should read that Harry said something very Harry-like to Draco. (Harry-like=not insulting but honest)

And now Draco's going off in a huff.

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 17:44:42 UTC Re: Confused???

I'm trying to decide if I agree that Harry doesn't understand why Draco is upset. Harry clearly has a theory at the outset -- "you're just worried about you," which is probably a clue to whatever he accused Draco of in the fight. I guess I continue to think Harry pressed him on some of the contradictions in his behavior, while I'm sort of hoping he wasn't trying to crudely remake Draco into his own fantasy.

And when Harry says, "OK, Hang on." I don't know whether he's realizing something for the first time, or just trying to cut through the chaff that Draco has thrown up about Colin. He restates the issue as -- "you're throwing a fit because I called you unreliable." But that's really hitting the same theme, that Harry is challenging the way Draco presents himself, challenging his contradictions.

And yeah, the argument ends in what looks like a failure, they didn't quite make a breakthrough. But that's realistic, too.

Maybe, though, it really was the fact that Ron was reading every word. Draco just wasn't ready to have it all out in front of Ron. Maybe this discussion will continue privately.

I <3 the idea of Ron biting his tongue.

I <3 Harry's use of the infamous, "fine."

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 18:10:51 UTC Re: Confused???

The part that made me think Harry wasn't sure what Draco was reacting to was when he said, "Why are you thinking any of it?" Harry does definitely seem to know what he said that's set Draco off--that he's unreliable. But he seemed confused as to why Draco had therefore leapt to the conclusion Harry wanted him to be Ron.

I just now also noticed a sort of interesting difference between Harry's posts to Draco asking him why he's having a fit. He spells things out by asking if Draco's having a fit because Harry said he was unreliable. But in his first post (the one that makes Draco claim to be completely confused) he asks if this is because Harry "doesn't get" what Draco is "doing."

What exactly does Harry mean by "what [Draco] is doing?" Is Harry referring to something he actually said to Draco, something like, "I just don't get what you're doing here. Why do you continue to act so stupidly?" Or is he more saying something like, "Don't you think I know you're trying to push people away because you're afraid?" (or whatever) Or even--I can't completely leave this out--that Harry knows what Draco is doing by pushing Harry away to make Lucius happy.

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 18:49:19 UTC Re: Confused???

I suspect that "I don't get what you're doing" was something Harry said in the original fight, when he called something about Draco's behavior "stupid" and then tried to explain himself. I'm feeling more and more that they're working out the boundaries of what, exactly, Harry can claim from Draco as a friend. And it's tricky, because there are certain minimums -- respect, and basic consistency -- but Draco is also legitimately hypersensitive about anyone trying to remake him. So there is maybe a misunderstanding here over whether boundaries have been crossed. I ran with this point a bit in a reply to Verdant, above, though I'm not sure LJ is displaying all subthreads.

"Why are you thinking any of it," I took to mean, "Why are you attributing any motives to me at all about my forbearance in the Colin thing," and more widely, "why do you think I'm trying to remake you?" After all, "I explained that," and "you laughed." So Draco has trouble believing that Harry may actually be respecting boundaries, perhaps because he's used to people (his parents?) not respecting those boundaries, and trying to manipulate him.

Interesting to think about, and to try to puzzle these two out.

sistermagpie @ May 23 2003, 06:09:49 UTC Re: Confused???

Also, ps's fits are almost always come directly out of himself and not other people. That is, he reacts to external stimulus but it usually stews a while and becomes all twisted by his personal issues and then it comes out in some strange way. I think something like that is happening here.

One thing that's always been wonderfully consistent about ps is the way he shows that he listens to everything everybody says. Harry must have known he could easily quote ps's words about not being cryptic and have ps know to which post he was referring immediately. He saves everything in memories and sometimes brings something up months or, with his parents, even years later. He tends to react emotionally and defensively to something in the moment and then have a different reaction later. You really don't know how he's going to take something right away. Harry once lamented Colin remembering things for a long time, but he's got nothing on ps.

So I think j_h is a little bit at a loss here. He knows what Draco's reacting to and I probably knows he's using his accusations to Harry and Ron as a cover, but he may not quite understand how ps sees the situation. This is kind of a good thing, though, in a way, because it makes j_h more emotionally involved. I love watching him deal with ps when he's completely in control, like when ps was afraid after the werewolf demonstration and Harry could just say, "Okay, you weren't scared," knowing that he was. But j_h's anger here, imo, shows that he doesn't quite get what's wrong with ps and that's good, imo, because otherwise ps is just too easy a person to understand. The times when Harry can completely understand what he's doing is when he's at his most childish. This isn't quite that--maybe there's a teensy bit of growth...

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 17:48:18 UTC Re: Confused???

Exactly. Draco probably got all stewy because he's veiwing it in reference to a larger program of not understanding and accepting Draco for who he is. He's a teenager, and so even if people SHOULDN'T be doing so, it's a great injustice when they don't. Now he's just putting every injustice together in a big ball, so it's not really just Harry's fault, even if that's a catalyst.

darklites @ May 22 2003, 18:06:12 UTC Re: Confused???

But the very intensity of the conversation suggests that he's gotten under Draco's skin, and that they take the issue seriously, and the relationship seriously, enough to work on it at least a little.

I agree completely. Also, I noticed on Draco's userinfo page, that he has removed all the "I HATE HARRY POTTER" stuff. And now, last year he "scored a fabulous win against Gryffindor", not Harry Potter. hating harry potter has been removed from his interest lists, too, although it is interesting that beating harry potter and defeating harry potter are still there. This is not like the first time when he was trying to wipe Harry's existence out of his life. Which is interesting. Very very interesting.

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 18:28:11 UTC Re: Confused???

I'm now getting interested at what exactly Draco meant by asking if people thought he sat around, drank tea and meditated in his spare time. It sounds more and more like Draco is insisting that he isn't "deep" and is just the shallow, awful brat he appears.

Suddenly this makes me feel all bad for him again. Because, you know, Harry's probably both right and wrong about saying he's unreliable. He's very reliable...about being unreliable. Throughout their relationship it's like Draco obviously loves being with Harry but whenever it appears that Harry might be relying on him he does something nasty and he's back to being just an occasionally amusing, nasty kid with whom nobody should have a very deep relationship.

Ps really does seem to think that if he ever lets down the mask for one minute it all falls apart. But he came through it okay after the outing incident. Maybe that's why Harry felt like he could take the next step and say something to him now...?

It's just striking me as so sad now the way he keeps repeating that nobody listens to what he says--that he doesn't like anybody, that he doesn't like Harry, that he's not a nice person because of course nobody listens. His actions always scream otherwise.:-(

Also, if Draco is feeling guilty about the outing incident he's got even more reason to hide behind the "I'm just a rotten person who doesn't like you," mask. He's like flipping back and forth--on one hand he's angry people want him to be more than he is, on the other hand he's saying what he is isn't worth the trouble.

black_dog @ May 22 2003, 19:00:49 UTC Re: Confused???

Draco obviously loves being with Harry but whenever it appears that Harry might be relying on him he does something nasty.

Ps really does seem to think that if he ever lets down the mask for one minute it all falls apart.

This sort of opens up a whole new tangent about how Draco may feel about some recent events. I'm thinking about the pop-psychology concept of "fear of success," where you start experiencing things that open up your world, in what should be a good way, but 1. feel you don't deserve them, 2. find that the loss of predictability in your surroundings, even if it objectively amounts to a "better" life, is too disorienting to bear.

I mean, look at the things that have been happening to Draco -- not just the warming up of the friendship with Harry, but the fact that he made a breakthrough with Seamus, who was obviously just delighted with him, really liked the side of Draco that he saw yesterday. And even Ron is making an effort to be civil, and they're sharing some jokes at Seamus' expense and at the Hufflepuff's expense. And you can see Draco thinking, I can't be this happy! Life can't be going this well! It's a conspiracy and they're all secretly laughing at me!

More to think about . . .

sistermagpie @ May 23 2003, 06:22:48 UTC Re: Confused???

Yes, I think that's a big part of it. He may be inching up on the horrible self-realization moment and he's got good reason to be afraid of that. Now that he's experienced some brief moments of genuine good-feeling from other people he may realize how much he wants it. It's funny...I love ps and M.B. as friends but part of what makes them interesting is that they're so different. M.B. really is the way she presents herself--a tank that can destroy Potions classrooms. She's incredibly protective of ps, imo, knowing that he's really not like that.

But now ps is hit with the previously ridiculous idea that he might be likeable to other people. I think he's fine dealing with the Gryffs as long as he thinks he really doesn't like them, but the minute he starts to want to spend time with them they have power over him and can reject him. This has to be a real fear for him given his relationship with his parents. He's made a real breakthrough with Narcissa but Lucius still casually refers to disowning him. The stuff about this being disorienting is also definitely true, imo. He hates anything changing, especially himself.

I mean, think of how he will have to start over here. He's never had any personality beyond the one where he put everyone down. With Seamus he's actually creating things and looking at the students in a slightly different way, offering up his opinions of what he thinks would look good on them. I know his referring to the paper dolls as charity work was sarcastic and insulting, but also...this actually is something ps clearly feels he has to offer and it's not a bad thing at all. It's actually great having a friend who can dress you so you look good. I'm sure ps has other talents but this is a start--something he's genuinely offering, connecting to thoughts he's had about other students that were actually kind of positive. (Perhaps really the first thing he did along these lines was help Harry with Potions...?) Plus it's got nothing to do with his money or Lucius. It's something he's learned and developed himself.

black_dog @ May 23 2003, 17:57:21 UTC Re: Confused???

the minute he starts to want to spend time with them they have power over him and can reject him.

And in another post you say:

Unable to accept that he himself is freely changing he has to pretend that Harry is changing him against his will.

I've said before, I love the way you get inside Draco's head. I think this is absolutely his sticking point -- that he's misrepresenting his experiences to himself because they are too radically threatening to his narcissism. He can't bear shifting to a real emotional dependence on other people -- it just feels too risky for him, so he runs away from it. And he can't bear thinking that he's wrestling with his own genuine need for more emotional connection -- he has to see it as something inflicted on him from outside.

I feel my emotional response to this overwhelming my analytical response, and I just want to say, poor, poor w00bie. This is all so hard for him, and he has so little real support.

Who is there, I wonder, who can really show him, convincingly, that it's worth making a leap, taking an emotional risk? Harry, maybe, but Harry is a major source of his confusion and maybe too charged an object to calmly draw lessons from. His parents are certainly useless; Pansy is a manipulator. Maybe Millicent, but she's so self-assured that she might not serve as a good example for him as he wrestles with his doubts.

He's really facing this all alone, isn't he?

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 17:22:43 UTC Re: Confused???

Yes!

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 17:16:28 UTC Re: Confused???

I doubt it. I think the imagining is on Draco's side. Harry seems pretty cognizant of Draco's character flaws.

hezzabeth @ May 22 2003, 17:23:58 UTC Re: Confused???

When you have a crush on some one , you tend to ignore that stuff.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 17:15:35 UTC

http://www.livejournal.com/users/potterstinks/20446.html?thread=369118#t369118

haha... I just had the image of just_harry replying:

"Well, if you don't know I'm not going to tell you."

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 17:31:43 UTC

So here's how I read the conversation:
Draco's post: "Some people are fools who think I am reliable. If they want a Hufflepuff, they should go play with Ron."
Harry: "You should have said Harry because you mean Harry"
Draco: "Attempt at a witty reference blah blah save blah blah"
Harry: What he actually said
Draco: "It was a reference, fool. Don't worry about me. I am not your fantasy. I am real!Draco. I am nasty and mean and unreliable."
Harry: "I do not harbor illusions about your personality."
Draco: "Yes you do. You want me to be a hot version of Ron."
Harry: "NO! Also, I didn't mean what you think I meant when we were talking before."
Draco: "Ron, blah blah Colin. You are disappointed I am me."
Harry: "I don't give a shit about Colin's meeting. We've been over this honey. You don't know what I think, I do."
Draco: "WAH! You never listen. I am not reliable."
Harry: $#%#$)@

sistermagpie @ May 22 2003, 17:41:39 UTC

I half expect Draco to tell Harry that "fine" is his line.

It carries such different meaning when Harry says it.

Ron seems to know more of what's going on than we do, yes? Because what is Draco supposedly blaming Harry for? (Or am I missing something...?) Wait...I guess Ron is saying not to blame Harry for his (Ron's) being surprised at Draco going to Colin's meeting...but it still makes me wonder exactly what set this fit of ps's off.

notapipe @ May 22 2003, 17:48:00 UTC

I didn't notice that. I was transposing "Fine" and "Okay". You're right about it having a different meaning. I think it's rather nasty when Harry says it.

I agree with the Ron saying "I am me. I am not Harry. Just because I'm an ass doesn't make Harry one." However, I think Ron mounts a weak counter-attack in general.

moonlitpages @ May 22 2003, 17:59:46 UTC

*rolls* Priceless. Definitely love the interpretation. I was waiting until the argument finished to make any comments on it, but I still don't have much more of an idea what that little spat was all about. Draco's definitely insecure about something that occurred, probably when Harry went up to visit him the other night, and dear Harry seems to have thrown up his hands for the moment. Well, no one ever said Draco wouldn't be a high maintenance boyfriend ;-) (sarcasm, before anyone jumps on me. I know Draco isn't his boyfriend. yet.)

anjaliesque @ May 22 2003, 17:34:06 UTC

I am very much affectionately tickled by a mental image of Ron, increasingly curious about Draco's and Harry's exchange, yet desperately trying to hold his tongue and not interfere, for Harry's sake. <3

babytyggeryss @ May 22 2003, 17:44:37 UTC

I'm enjoying this new side of Ron; the more mature Ron. He seems to sit back and watch what is going on before he jumps in.

I'm very curious to know what brought this on. Maybe it's just natural growth or maybe something happened.

anjaliesque @ May 22 2003, 17:53:57 UTC Re:

Maybe the realization that Harry really is gay and really does need support in his relationship with of all people Malfoy has made Ron stop and realize that the way he goes about things isn't going to be the best for Harry anymore.

Well, good to know that Ron's not completely changed. Even he can't stay quiet when Draco starts ragging Harry too much. :D

babytyggeryss @ May 22 2003, 18:03:51 UTC

Well, good to know that Ron's not completely changed. Even he can't stay quiet when Draco starts ragging Harry too much. :D

I don't think that part of Ron will ever change; it's in his personality to stand up to those who are hurting, or have the ability to hurt, people he loves. It's a trait in him I enjoy.

Anonymous @ May 22 2003, 17:54:05 UTC

Regarding the sawing of the bed legs... I'm casting a suspicious glance in Zabini's direction. I swear there is a connection between its first entry (http://www.livejournal.com/users/a_slytherin/497.html) and Malfoy's discovery (http://www.livejournal.com/users/potterstinks/16975.html)...