notapipe @ April 20 2003, 03:26:42 UTC

That explains: I don't have any ugly scars on my forehead, I'm fabulously wealthy, I despise Mudbloods, and I HATE HARRY POTTER. If you have anything to say about that, allow me to introduce you to the wand of my girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson. Was wondering about that.

Actually, now that I look at that, it's like that stupid get-to-know-you game where two things are true and one thing is a lie. Only two things are true and two things are lies. (three are lies if he actually develops a lump)

Plus, he's actually putting his denial strategy into words, right in black and white. "I HATE HARRY POTTER, if you have any [doubts] about that, allow me to introduce you to [...] my girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson."

eponis @ April 20 2003, 08:30:00 UTC

Hee. Yes. Am I getting too symbolic if I think that it's significant that he specifically defers doubts about his sexuality - ahem, his hatred of Harry Potter - to the wand of his girlfriend?

Or, even in a non-phallic sense, I love that Pansy is explicitly only there to defend him from such accusations. And that he refers to Harry seven times (at least?) in his profile and interests, and to her only once: in connection to J_H!

notapipe @ April 20 2003, 03:33:41 UTC

I also invite everyone to check out his new "AM SO! I AM TOTALLY STRAIGHTSTRAIGHTSTRAIGHTSTRAIGHT times infinity plus one!" icon.

Keywords: I have a shapely girlfriend.

Key words here: "I have a ... girlfriend." A girlfriend who happens to sleep with Millicent (who is herself shapely, just a different one).

quixotic_sense @ April 20 2003, 04:39:08 UTC

There's a king of sad, if funny desperation in the choice of icon. He might as well wallpaper his bedroom with posters of buxom blondes cooing, "Draco Malfoy likes girls. Really." ^^;;;

shusu @ April 20 2003, 08:00:39 UTC

That icon cracks me up.

Especially since I know the original photo he's looking at Lucius.

Has anyone noticed that Mr. Potter has retorted to our PS: "Yeah, but I got the best club, too."

*Hummmmms*

quixotic_sense @ April 20 2003, 08:05:21 UTC :D

Stroke the phallic symbolism. Love it.

shusu @ April 20 2003, 08:06:55 UTC Re: :D

"We were both pulling and you let go!!"

:p

xnera @ April 20 2003, 09:13:31 UTC Re: :D

That whole exchange just made me laugh. Hee!

shusu @ April 20 2003, 09:51:38 UTC Re: :D

We need a site for all these NA-inspired icons!

kat99999 @ April 20 2003, 03:36:54 UTC

Ahhhhh. Did NOT see it coming at all. *whine* That was really unexpected, lmao.

quixotic_sense @ April 20 2003, 04:41:51 UTC

I was RP-ing via y!m while I was reading the post, and there was a definite pause in the game while my mind finished boggling and went for a beer. ^^

luxuryrevenge @ Deleted Deleted

Deleted

Anonymous @ April 20 2003, 07:17:42 UTC

d00d

"...hair spread on your pillow, dark as ink.."

well, that's certainly not draco she's talking about...

millicent/pansy OTP!!!!!!!!

notapipe @ April 20 2003, 07:27:13 UTC

Wow, re: poems. If I had a doubt or two about Pansy/Millicent before...

Even though you're right, just to insure rigor, how does this work with your obviously correct theory?

sistermagpie @ April 20 2003, 07:31:51 UTC

I wonder if j_h will offer his polite congratulations to Pansy. He'd have done so well in Slytherin.;-)

quixotic_sense @ April 20 2003, 08:12:25 UTC

Hmm. I read that as Millicent feeling territorial. Not happy about the charade, perhaps?

sistermagpie @ April 20 2003, 07:28:56 UTC

As much as I admit that I want it to be a front because I love M/P and H/D so might be inclined to see things that aren't there...you have to admit it makes a lot of sense. Pansy and Draco had a "long talk" and he agreed to be her boyfriend? Sounds like a plan to me. Plus it's true, the poems definitely whisper "Millicent" rather than Draco. Dawn is when her beloved is changed into nothing but friends--and Draco becomes the "beloved."

If they're really doing this I so love them for it. What are friends for, after all, than to be a beard in need?

notapipe @ April 20 2003, 08:05:38 UTC

Of course, hence the age old aphorism:

"A beard in need is a friend indeed.
A beard with weed is better,
A beard with breasts and all the rest,
A beard who's dressed in leather."

flyby @ April 20 2003, 13:19:43 UTC

I am torn between laughing hysterically and kicking you.

notapipe @ April 21 2003, 17:29:11 UTC

Laugh.

quixotic_sense @ April 20 2003, 08:01:59 UTC

I mean, have you read the poems on Pansy's site?

Alas, poor Terry. Thanks for pointing out the site -- much as I like Terry/Millicent, Pansy/Millicent is so... well, obvious, when you think about it.

Either I'm in denial, or they are.

There so needs to be an NA-inspired icon with that.

notapipe @ April 20 2003, 09:36:57 UTC

There are now. All thanks to you.

notapipe @ April 20 2003, 09:37:58 UTC

and luxuryrevenge of course. Hope you don't mind.

ex_meiko437 @ April 20 2003, 13:50:22 UTC

wow! i definitely didn't see P/D coming~ but i really like P/M. They're perfect together! as much as I like T/M too..

catiadoodle @ April 20 2003, 07:43:34 UTC Mmmm...

I think that somehow, it makes perfect sense.

PS put himself in a dead-end situation. One one hand, he wants to prove the world he is straight as a board and starts the girlfriend hunt, but on the other hand he feels so uncomfortable with having a girlfriend that he always finds excuses to "disqualify" each and every candidates in order to unconsciously delay his suffering. And when he couldn't find any possible excuse against Padma, he made sure she would run away from him by acting rude.
So now he has come to the point where he has rejected almost all available girls in Hogwarts but still wants the world, and especially Harry to think he is straight, because he is too deep in denial to admit he likes him. So he has to take a decision now. But he is too stressed up (because of family issues) and panicked to actually consider picking a girl he hardly knows, pretend to like her and start to date her (with all the physical contact aspects it implies). He unconsciously knows he doesn't have the energy to engage himself in such a masquerade, what he needs now is comfort and security.

So, at this point, either he (not consciously) draws the conclusion that there is only one person who matches his criteria of selection and with whom he would feel comfortable enough to play lovey-dovey, either Pansy herself, who knows him well and wants to help and support him, goes to him and proposes to be his girlfriend.

In-denial!Draco probably deludes himself by thinking no other girl was good enough for him, and will probably make an entry to explain his choice thoroughly in that sense, but the truth is Pansy was the only one he could choose if he wants to avoid any other fiasco.

I wonder how far Pansy will pretend to be blind and follow Draco in his masquerade. I wonder if she will try to make him accept he just doesn't like girls... I really wish she would, and I really wish he could open himself to her, after all, she is the one who understands him the best.

metaphoracle @ April 20 2003, 10:59:34 UTC Re: Mmmm...

I don't know how much I buy the Draco is in denial and thus using Pansy as a coverup theory.

First of all--If you're going to get a girlfriend, you don't pick the one that knows you're gay. That defeats the purpose.

Secondly--I don't think Pansy would allow herself to be used by Draco in that way. Especially at the expense of Millicent.

As people have pointed out time and time again--Pansy and Millicent have Draco's number, and have for quite a long time. His Imsosostraightandlikegirls phase seems to me, to be triggered by Narcissa. I don't remember the exact post, but there's something about a promise. I'm willing to bet that promise is something about marrying a nice girl and bringing honor to the Malfoy name or what not.

Draco obviously has more ties to his mother than to his father. Not sure when that happened, since early in NA, he was equally indifferent to them both.

Now, there's also the fact that knowing you're gay, and knowing you want to make hotmonkeylurve to Harry Potter are two very different things. Draco's probably pretty sure of the former. How sure he is of the latter is up for debate. He's certainly enjoying himself with Harry, for once, and not objecting to them becoming friends. How much further they've actually gone? No idea.

The point is, I think, that the Pansy situation seems to me to be clearly a beard for the benefit of his mother. As long as he has a girlfriend, in name, he can work out his issues with Harry on his own and not be afraid of bringing shame to the name of Malfoy.

fourscore @ April 20 2003, 14:02:09 UTC Re: Mmmm...

I agree, I don't think Pansy would let herself be used by Draco either, but I don't think Draco knows he's gay at all. I suspect he thinks he's straight and Pansy is indulging him. I'm not sure if I can think it would be for his mother, because Draco had been talking to his mother all night and never mentioned it. Why would he have waited until Pansy did? I think Pansy being the first one to say something here is interesting. Draco still hasn't written about it in his journal.

pink_faerie @ April 20 2003, 07:57:38 UTC

I, the lone D/Per, refuse to read your logical and plausible conspiracy theories and will simply squee with joy while I can.

Heeeeeeeee!

eponis @ April 20 2003, 08:12:59 UTC

Definitely agree with the in-denial-and-seeking-coverup theory above. A few other things that are interesting to me:

First, there's this entry of a couple of weeks ago. She demanded how it was possible that Draco Malfoy was seeking a nice girl to go out with, and he has managed to ask every girl in Slytherin but me. I wrote her back quite plainly that I had in fact been the first girl he went out with, albeit that was months and months ago. I told her we are quite content being friends now. I am certain my mother won't believe me, but honestly, I do not care what she has to say. Note the conversation between Millicent and Pansy afterward, too! It really seems like the entry strongly implies "there are other reasons why Draco and I wouldn't date, and they're reasons that both of us are perfectly content with," and if the conversation afterward doesn't illuminate those reasons, I'm not sure what more would. In light of that, and so recently too, I'm also amused and suspicious about the "dating" proclamation . . . particularly when they're suddenly "dating," without actually going out together.

Also, Harry's conversation with Draco is remarkably . . . well, flirtatious. Things like calling J_H "caddy" and "You have crushed my golf dreams, Potter." It's particularly interesting because J_H seems less calm then previous conversations, but PS is just idly teasing him. Makes me really, really, really wish I was a particular golf club on Thursday night, so I could listen in . . .

Finally, look at the timeline. In Draco's previous entry, he and J_H are arguing/flirting until around 2 AM. Then, around 3 AM, he heads over to Pansy's room. He finds Pansy and Millicent in bed together. They talk about "lots of things," <CONJECTURE>including PS's strange inability to be attracted to girls, his strange enjoyment of J_H's company and conversation, and Pansy's mother's matchmaking instincts</CONJECTURE>. Naturally the best solution is to declare each other girlfriend and boyfriend. (Anyone want to place bets on whether anyone actually ever finds them making out?) But my point is, it comes in response to all the time that he and J_H have been spending together, IRL and online.

eponis @ April 20 2003, 08:15:21 UTC

Eeep, sorry, the Pansy/Millicent link above should be here!

bookshop @ April 20 2003, 09:09:35 UTC

Dude. Great insights. *thumbs up, way way way up*

And you give me a chance to say, "Guh." I just can't get over how flirtatious they're being, Draco especially. The whole tone of his post was that of affectionate indulgence! I can just picture him smiling and shaking his head and rolling his eyes the whole time he reads it. And he read the whole book! Awwww! <3333333333333333333

ex_meiko437 @ April 20 2003, 13:57:27 UTC

I can totally see that too.. they are so adorable together. I love the idle teasing! "I wouldn't want to steal your hat or anything."

and "well, potter, that's just the rub of the green"

so funny!

I'm now a closet D/H fan >>

moonlitpages @ April 20 2003, 08:49:44 UTC

Ack! I too was perhaps more caught off guard by that than I should have been. I went from reading the delightful h/d flirting on PS's last entry to that. I think most of what was already mentioned above pretty much sums up my reaction- I don't really think PS is at the place yet where he would sit down with Pansy and hatch a plan to hide his burning love for JH ;-). If anything, I think he's still convinced himself that this is what he wants, because denial seems to be his theme song these days *laughs*. Pansy, on the other hand, seems much more aware of things, if her poetry and Millicent sleeping in her bed is any indication. If anyone is 'just playing along', I think it would be Pansy. She strikes me as a girl who knows what she wants ;-). Or maybe she just thinks she can have her cake and eat it too, who knows? *laughs*

But either way, this is going to come as a slap in the face to poor JH, I'm afraid...

shusu @ April 20 2003, 09:12:37 UTC

Or it could just be playing hard-to-get.

*remarkably un-verbose today*

moonlitpages @ April 20 2003, 10:23:10 UTC

*laughs* Well it hardly seems necessary with Harry more than willing to be his caddy and follow him around toting clubs. What more could a hopelesslysmittenyetsteepedindenial guy want? ;-)

xnera @ April 20 2003, 09:17:52 UTC I agree...

Draco doesn't know what he wants yet, I don't think. Besides, Pansy's very manipulative. Yes, Draco found fault with all the girls he's tried dating, but Pansy also sabotaged each date. Seems to me she's been planning this for awhile, though it still took me by surprise. Am rather amused by it, though. :)

moonlitpages @ April 20 2003, 10:19:25 UTC Re: I agree...

Heh, but Millicent does seem to know what she wants. I can't help but fear for PS's safety, he's going to end up with more than his toes crushed if he's not careful ;-)

sistermagpie @ April 20 2003, 14:29:23 UTC Re: I agree...

How funny is this? It somehow says it all...even if I couldn't say what "all" is.

fourscore @ April 20 2003, 14:04:27 UTC

I agree, that's the impression I got. Pansy knows something is off with Draco but she still fancies him (hasn't she always? and look at her userinfo, "You want him, I can tell, but you can't have him.") so she's using the opportunity for her own benefit and indulging him.

notapipe @ April 21 2003, 17:31:39 UTC

Probably no one is reading this anymore, but...


WEEEEE! Go hawklady!