Personality Test!
What's Your Favourite Type Of Cake?
1. Walking home one night, you spot the girl who you've sort of been 'necking' for the last couple of weeks, sitting on her own in the café opposite the post office. You're just about to go to talk to her when a man comes out of the toilets, taps her on the shoulder, and she gets up to leave with him. He's got his hand on her arse, so they're obviously not related (unless they're a family of inbreds - and to be honest you've always had your suspicions. Let's just assume they're not related.) How do you feel?a) Calm. You always knew this would happen. This always happens. Girls are naturally repelled by you. Your pussy magnet has had its polarity reversed, and that's the way it's always going to be.
b) Distraught. She was the one! You'd spent 6 hours on the phone to her last night, discussing your plans for her future! How could she do this to you? Actually - thinking back, you've only been going out for a week and a half, and when you started talking about babies and mortgages she sounded shit scared.
c) Full of a righteous anger, fuelled by nought but blind fury and unholy rage. She will pay. She will pay, just like all the others. Her family will never see her again.
2. Which of the following best describes your current state of mind?
a) Well actually you're in a pretty good place right now. You've had your fair share of ups and downs in the past year, but suddenly your stars have aligned, everything's fallen into place, and you've finally found your centre. Things are looking up!
b) Mustn't grumble. You do, though. Constantly. Shut up! Wanker.
c) Your state of mind cannot be described adequately in a trite sentence or two. You just want the world to leave you alone and mind its own business. Otherwise you will. Kill. Again.
3. You've been waiting for a parking space for 5 minutes while an old lady reverses out of it. As soon as she gets out of the way, some dick in a BMW comes the wrong way round the one-way system and steals the spot which was rightfully yours. How do you react?
a) You don't. You spend another 20 minutes looking for a parking spot, by which time the patient in the back of your ambulance has died. Oops!
b) You wait for the guy to get out of his car, watch him disappear round the corner, then do a shit on his bonnet. Ahhhhh!
c) Feel incredibly angry, but smile politely as he smugly walks past your car and walks into Toni & Guy - without even putting any money in the meter! Drive off. Fuuuume!
4. What's your favourite type of cake?