ABOUT A.D.M.
Founded in 1996 by former PETA Regional Poohba Reginald Dickwillow, the Animal
Defense Militia is America's definitive non-pansy animal rights group. With over 65,000 active members,
the A.D.M. is a massive paramilitary underground movement of covert operatives committed to using extreme
violence while preserving the autonomy and merriment of non-human vertibrates.
A.D.M. members are resolute in the belief that grassroots and public activism, lobbying, civil disobedience
and demonstrations of any kind are a monumental waste of time. The effort required for these touchy-feely
diversions is much better expended on such useful activities as fire-bombing, poisoning and assassinating
the filthy meat-eating and skin/fur-wearing hordes.
As part of its commitment to Orthodox Animal Worship, A.D.M. firmly opposes the production and consumption
of flesh-emulating foodstuffs and products, including but not limited to pleather, tofu dogs, soy milk,
veggie burgers, suedetteTM, animal crackers, and the dreaded Tofurkey.
A.D.M. operatives are directed to kill on sight any human suspected of violating the fundamental spiritual
rights of any single or multi-celled creature. A.D.M. urban cells are active in the preservation of sewer
rat habitat and cockroach nesting grounds.
We welcome interested and like-minded Animal Rights extremists into our coven. For information on joining
your local A.D.M. terror cell, please contact us.
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