The Big-Faced Adventures Of Tom Chaplin From Keane

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     |o  o|          OK. Coming up next on
    _|  > |_         my show - 'Wossy' - with
   |_\ \/ /_|--------me, Jonathan Ross, we have
   /  \__/  \        a very talented young man.
  / /|    |\ \       Please welcome Tom Chaplin
 / /||    | \ \      from Keane!
 | |||    | |\ \
 | |||____|_| \ \
 """|\ /\  /\  ""
    | \\ \/ /|
    | | \ \/ |          ****APPLAUSE****
    | | /\ \ |
    | |/ /\ \|_
      / / |____|
   __/ /     |
  |____|
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     ~~~~~~
     |o  o|
    _|  > |_         Oh dear. It appears that
   |_\ ~~ /_|--------we're having some technical
   /  \__/  \        difficulties. Tom's not  
  / /|    |\ \       going to be able to be with
 / /||    | \ \      us tonight. Instead, I'll  
 | |||    | |\ \     take the piss out of my
 | |||____|_| \ \    band! Hey, band - you're
 """|\ /\  /\  ""    all gay! Hahahaha!
    | \\ \/ /|
    | | \ \/ |          ****LAUGHTER****
    | | /\ \ |
    | |/ /\ \|_
      / / |____|
   __/ /     |
  |____|
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MEANWHILE, BACKSTAGE...
 ____________
 |STAGE DOOR|
 ------------
   _________
   |       |
   | ~~~~~~|
   |//// \\|    ARGH! My moment of glory,
   |/  o o |    and I couldn't get through
   |    L  |    the door! Why must everything
   |__  O ------I attempt turn out like this?
   | /\___/|    CURSE YOU, BIG FACE!!!!!
   |/ /   \|
   |" |   ||
   |  \___/|
   |   | | |
   |   | | |
   |   L L |
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