My Two Grandads

An exciting (and possibly blasphemous) new animated show featuring all the major players in the most commercially successful book ever written (The Bible!), living in a house together. Jesus is a single parent, living with his son, Abel. They live with Joseph of Arimathea, his wife Mary, and the Creator of Everything - God! But Joseph and God hate each other! Oh man!

Episode One: Monopogeddon!

Jesus comes home from work, and hangs his coat on a coat stand which also holds a crown of thorns and a pair of gloves with blood in the middle of the palms. God, Joseph and Mary are playing Monopoly in the front room. Abel is doing his homework at the other end of the table.

God rolls the dice. As they hit the table, there is a crack of thunder. Tiny plastic flowers sprout on the board where the dice has touched it.

Joseph: Will you stop doing that, you egotistical pillock? It was impressive the first 30 times, but...
God: NOBODY MUST JUDGE ME! I AM YOUR GOD! YOU WILL PRAISE MY VERY NAME, AND SING THESE PRAISES FOR ALL TIME!
Mary: Ooh, stop doing The Voice, will you? It's really messing up my hearing aid. She sweeps the plastic flowers off the board. You rolled 11, come on! Move your little top hat.
Joseph: Ha! Regent Street - I believe that's mine! And with 4 houses, that's... glances at cards... £1100! Almost bankrupt yet, O Benevolent Deity?
God: Why would I want to pay rent to stay in your squalid little street? It's plagued!

God flicks his hand toward the board. ZOOM IN! Four tiny green houses in a line. A swarm of locusts rushes towards them, and in through the windows. Tiny plastic green people run out of the houses, screaming. The locusts carry off a tiny plastic green baby, and we ZOOM IN! through the window again to see them emptying the cupboards and devouring all the food in the tiny plastic green kitchen. ZOOM OUT! through the window to see the row of houses again. Doors are hanging off, windows are smashed, and there are 'Condemned' signs on each of the doors. ZOOM OUT!

Joseph: Is this going to happen every time, you beardy bastard?