| bookshop @ 2004-07-01 00:08:00 |
(no title)
Mood: indescribable
I want to tell myself it's too soon to make this post. And I want it to be too soon to make this post. But I can't. It's over.
And I was going to count down to a hundred things but it's hard to count when you can barely see straight for sobbing, so I'm just going to screw it.
The Hijacking.
Parvati's Tarot cards.
Dean's artwork.
Millicent's artwork.
Draco's artwork.
I see you've forgotten that I have a bag of bats.
Sticks and Strays.
Millicent.
the Millicent/Pansy femslash
Queenie Greenkneesgrass
The ongoing obsession with gender transformation.
Veritaserum.
Harry and Lucius facing off. I remember reading this thread the very first time with my jaw hanging open, because it was the first time I saw both of them, at once, revealing so fully the depth of their power as characters--Lucius being sinister and threatening and not giving an inch, and Harry being just, every inch Harry, and challenging him like only Harry Potter can do. It gave me chills.
Goyle. Oh, Goyle. ♥♥♥
The Tavern Fight, one of my top 5 all-time favorite NA moments. And not just because of what was happening under a certain table.
The beautiful, constant, hilarious bickering and squabbling between Professors Snape, Lupin, and Black. I just linked to the Hogsmeade tavern brawl, but I feel inadequate to stop there, because the bitchfest is all so delightfully intermeshed and ongoing and subtextual and well-done. This was my favorite aspect of your characterizations, and the thing that delighted me most about the adults at Hogwarts. Bravo, you three.
Terry's eyeliner.
My darling Colin. You were so rotten misunderstood.
George.
The Ravenclaws.
Sirius' Streisand fetish.
The Duel.
Ginny/Cho--my second-favorite Nocturne_Alley ship. Cho, you were wonderful, and Miss 
blushcrush--you're the only Ginny in the fandom I'll ever love.
Draco's great dating campaign. And Millicent's brilliant plan of counter-attack.
Support Malfoy.
the Christmas present.
Snape's ongoing vendetta against Harry. (Those detentions? Never. will stop. being. funny. Ever.)
Sirius' most prized possession. *cries and cries*
Ginny's obsession with Celestina Warbeck.
Parvati's obsession with Random capitalisation.
McGonagall's obsession with random increments of time.
Terry's obsession with purple beans.
Arthur's obsession with staplers.
Lisa.
Ron.
The sleep duel.
Percy's esoteric essays about things no sane person would care about, which somehow always manage to be totally fascinating.
Remus' werewolf essay.
TBWL.
The shortlived life of Trevor the Toad.
I am beautifully enraged.
I suspect something is awry.
I am ever so enthralling.
Bongo.
The Essay.
The song of the volga Draco Malfoy theme song.
Lavendar. You are beautiful, and we love you. =^_^=
Lisa's taste in music.
*Nraged.
Professor Sinistra.
Love Your Neighbor Week. May Dean and his hair never be parted again.
The cake server.
Miss Granger.
Soblessa Spriggs. RIP.
Narcissa's beauty tips.
M.B.
The evil house elves of Hogwarts.
The commenting in old posts.
"Hello!"
And other occasional random cameo appearances.
The little black raincloud.
The Meta. Martin/Scorpio forever. ♥♥♥♥♥♥a_slytherin. How we will miss you him her it ???
The time Draco tricked the Fat Lady into giving him the Gryffindor house password, and then stole Ginny's dragon. :D :D :D Sorry, Ginny. :D
Luna and her italics.
Draco's birthday present.
Sinistra's hairy legs.
Draco and Millicent. Together forever, whether or not there's anyone around to keep her from sitting on you when you're 70.
Lavendar & Parvati. No matter what happens, to me you'll always be BFF.
Tomatoes for ears.
Molly's Howlers.
Ernie.
The sparring Lucius and Vector used to do, and how he used to drive Vector crazy, on a number of levels that always made the game more exciting. And the friendship between Narcissa and Hilda, and the way Draco used to put up with Vector fawning over him because he was her favorite student. The Nocturne_Alley Malfoys--you'll always be my favorites.
WEASLEYS/CAPSLOCK FOREVER.
Snape/Sinistra. One of my favorite NA ships.
Mood: Enraged.
Colin's secret plot to blow up the school (and he does have one). Think he's been quiet all this time? Ha. Trust me. Just wait til next year. He'll be back. ;) I loved playing you, Colin. I send you off with love and respect and lots of h hope for the future. Stay away from the Muggle cars, okay?
Pansy. Pansy and her 'Draco darling' and her staunch loyalty to Draco and Millicent, her faux sincerity and subtle mockery, that gradually deepened into genuine sincerity and kindness. Pansy who I had loved and admired and never actually realised how much, until she was gone and there was this hole where she used to be. It won't be the same without you, Pansy darling.
The Glossary: seriously the most comprehensive fandom lexicon outside of, well, the Lexicon. So much information, so much cross-referencing and research and meticulousness. Just opening it causes my automatic *boggle* reflex to kick in.
nraged. Oh, Nraged. I have such a deep and abiding affection for your members, and what you represent, and the fact that you sprang out of such a tight community, and the fact that if I hadn't started you, sooner or later, somebody would have started you, because the need for some kind of central location where we could all come together and experience N_A with one another was just that great. I love you, I love your Player appreciation threads, I love your wild speculations and theories even when they're widly off-base, I love your insensate squeeing over the least little thing, I love your icons, I love your fanart and your chats and just, all the things that make you as a community what somebody on my friends list once called "an anthropologist's wet dream." I'm proud of you, and I really think that you as a community, in coming together and organizing so many things, helped to make NA the milestone of fandom rpg-ing that it is. And I don't care how wanky it may look for me to say that--I began my love affair with NA as a fan, and I'm really happy that I am ending it as a fan. I feel incredibly blessed to have been on both sides of the game and to have gotten to interact with, just the best roleplayers anybody could hope to ever work with, in and out of characters. And I feel like-- to me, NA has been such an integral, ingrained part of my fandom experience, since just a few months after I delurked in the fandom; I consider N_A to be not just a fandom milestone, but one of my 3 personal fandom cornerstones--the three things that have really created, defined, and shaped my fandom experience. Nraged has been something altogether integral to that. I can't think of some of my dear friends--Sister M, Black Dog, Verdant, Notapipe, without thinking of Nraged and what you have all helped that community to become. I don't feel connected to Nraged as much anymore, but it is still something that I view with pride, and love, and respect--and I want you guys to know that when I was a player, I loved knowing that this community was there--I loved reading what you guys thought about my characters, and I relished just knowing that we were connecting to you. That the game has been able to maintain and hold such a strong connection to its fans after nearly three years, speaks volumes about the caliber of its fans. So pat yourselves on the back. Because you guys---you guys were fantastic fans.
The time when you logged on just to wish me a happy birthday.
The time when you left your quiz result on my journal. 33333333333333333333333333333333333333.
The time when you broke Harry's nose because he said you didn't have any friends, and you still covered for him when he snuck out to the Cannons game.
And when he kissed you the time he got drunk, how you didn't tell anybody about it at first, until you felt like you had to.
How you always obeyed your father, whenever he asked you to do anything, without ever questioning him or showing anything but obedience.
The time when Harry made you kick the fire.
The time when you went into hiding in your special hole, and Pansy and Millicent came and found you anyway because they loved you.
The time when you let Potter buy you golf clubs because you thought they were weapons, and the way you kept them and held onto them even after you found out they weren't and you couldn't really use them because golf was such a boring game anyway.
Your friendship with Finnigan. I loved watching it grow. And how you started out exchanging fashion tips to Potter, and having tea, and how now you're really good friends. And how Potter was always wrong about you not having any friends, and wrong about other things too--but it didn't stop him from falling in love with you. Or any of us, either.
The way you were always so patient, the way you always seemed to know how to get around Draco's insecurities, even when you weren't sure what part was real and what part was posture.
Your friendship with Remus and how much it meant to you, and the way you never quite let yourself believe that Sirius could love you as much as you loved him. The way you cared about everyone around you, even the annoying prats like Colin.
The way you let yourself keep reaching out to Draco even when you weren't sure what was there--the way you clung to the possibility of more, even when he was doing all he could to push you away. The way, now and always, you just wanted to be there for him, any way you could. The way, even this morning when you weren't sure about how he felt about you, and if he had been lying or not, you still wanted to tell him how you felt.
this. I want to say something meaningful, anything to do this justice--but it feels too full and the words are stuck. It is just. Last night 
lunacy said that H/D was about the power of love to remake the world in its own image. If it is, and I want to believe that it is, then I think this thread is one of the most beautiful expressions of it I've ever seen.
"You are impossible, do you know that?"
That's where it starts, for me. That sentence, that moment. It is the moment I always come back to. Draco's player told me at the time that it was the kind of thing you'd say and then ruffle someone's hair.
Somehow, I have this permanent, fixed impression in my head of Malfoy getting his hair ruffled a lot more from here on out.
I love this game. Canonical to the very last word.
Goodnight, nocturne_alley. I love you.
Comments:
| evieangelique @ July 1 2004, 05:10:23 UTC |
I love you for this.
Thank you, and thank you nocturne_alley
<33333333333 to you all.
| mars_daydream @ July 1 2004, 05:18:54 UTC |
I am delurking to thank you as well. I can't say how many times something from N_A made me burst out laughing, or almost cry, and it was great to read along with this community and see that others were as addicted as I was, even if I just lurked in the shadows. ;)
So thanks.
| sincelastjuly @ July 1 2004, 05:22:45 UTC |
I love this game. Canonical to the very last word.
Yes, god, that made me grin.
NA -- it's seriously been unbelievable, and the end of the game will leave a hole in the fandom that can never be filled.
Goodnight.
| longtimegone @ July 1 2004, 05:24:08 UTC |
Oh, Aja. Just...yes.
Cheers, to you, NA. You were one of my frist fandom experiences. One of the first late nights I ever sat up F5ing with fellow fans, the first RPG to really capture my imaginations.
Way to go out on top, and thanks to all the players who made it so great.
<3333
| jiffy_spiffy @ July 1 2004, 05:26:44 UTC |
Thank you Nocturne Alley. It's been great fun following this RPG for the last couple of years, and I doubt that I'll ever find a RPG as brilliant as this one. Thank you the players, the fans and - well, everyone for making NA something I won't forget in a hurry.
| jacay @ July 1 2004, 05:29:03 UTC |
I cannot tell the players often enough how real they made this seem. I like this more than canon, because it has achieved depth and realism that far surpasses the books. Even though it seemed like half of the characters were gay, which isn't bad, but isn't paricularly realistic--and yet, somehow, you made it seem so real that I hurt when Harry hurt, or when anyone hurt. All of the characters were different and lovable in their own ways, and I thank you, for giving us a glimpse of this sort of awesomeness that I don't think I'll ever see outside of this RPG.
This is the end, and it hurts, but it was beautiful.
| gracefulfool @ July 1 2004, 05:35:11 UTC |
i just can't believe it's all come to an end.
although, in a way, it doesn't exactly feel like it has ended. not for them, anyway, just for us. it feels like draco and millicent will spend summer hols together, everyone will see each other for NEWTS and harry's birthday, seamus and dean will share a flat, harry and sirius will take remus to amsterdam, ginny will plant a tree for pansy, and luna will get her l's back. it's just that we won't hear anything about it.
it's been brilliant while it lasted and i am honored to have been able to watch it happen.
 |
zonko @ July 1 2004, 05:40:11 UTC |
I don't really have anything to say other than "I agree". Because I do. I love this post, thank you for this. <3
(parent)| divinelight @ July 1 2004, 05:50:12 UTC |
Thank you.
So much love for everyone right now. The characters. The players. And everyone in this community.
| the_plebe @ July 1 2004, 06:01:06 UTC |
word, and I can't believe that it's over. >.<
Thank you NA for just being so great. You guys kept me entertained for hours (and sometimes days when I think back to certain posts), and gave my F5 button much use. So thanks for all the angst, the wibbles and teh funneh you've provided us with over the years. <3 *toasts to the players*
| philalethia @ July 1 2004, 06:03:34 UTC |
God, yes.
JK Rowling may have created the characters, but nocturne_alley made them real.
Thank you for this post.
| corsiva @ July 1 2004, 06:19:41 UTC |
Thank you so, so much for this. You've managed to reduce me to tears over this yet again.
<3
| snackbreak @ July 1 2004, 06:20:14 UTC |
There are no words, no words.
Aja, you've done a marvolous job, thanks :-)
MUCH LOVE to the players. There is nothing that comes close to NA.
<333333333333333333333333333
| daisy_drabbles @ July 1 2004, 06:23:26 UTC |
Thank you Aja, for saying all the things I've been wanting to say about NA and to the players, but didn't know how to properly put into words. Thia has been an experience I have been truly honored to witness.
Players, you are truly remarkably talented people. I read Harry Potter, see the movies, and You come to mind. You made them real for me, like nothing else could.
Goodnight, Nocturne Alley. And Thank you. So much.
| lilychick @ July 1 2004, 06:30:52 UTC |
YES.
I feel like this is all I've been saying lately, but I agree.
Thank you, n_a.
(As a sidenote, thank you as well, Aja...because, if I remember right, I discovered n_a myself through some post about it that you made on your old journal, as I happened across it many, many moons ago. It's a small world, and all that, and so I just wanted you to know. (*thumbs up*))
| leadtippedarrow @ July 1 2004, 06:32:58 UTC |
This post was perfect. Thank you for posting this.
(parent)| sylvertongue @ July 1 2004, 07:02:32 UTC |
My thank-you got out of hand. It is now its own post. Just one more fan and her awe.
(parent) |
unknownwisdom @ July 1 2004, 07:55:19 UTC |
Thank you. I will be going over old threads and laughing until I'm 60.
(parent)| saucy_kate @ July 1 2004, 08:44:21 UTC |
this was beautiful. I found NA through your journal a long time ago, even though you don't know me, and it seems very fitting that you would provide such closure.
NA has been a joy to read. The characters are so real I always felt as if the Harry Potter world really existed, somewhere out there, and we were just the silly Muggles who got to sneak a peek. That's what I loved about you, players. You made something imaginary into something so real I felt like I could touch it sometimes, and it is wonderful. I felt like I knew the characters, from the most popular to the very minor. I will miss this, but I think the ending is merely a beginning.
Nothing will fill this void, but perhaps it is time we took on our own wings. NA may be ended, but it will live on in our hearts, forever, and none of us will forget it.
| nannyo @ July 1 2004, 08:53:57 UTC |
Much love, NA (and Aja) Much love!!
Also, I wanted to say that due to NA I have a new appreciation of scones, and so many other things. I have laughed and cried and gone "wuh?" along with everyone else, and I tried to resist joining nraged for such a long time, and then I just threw in the towel and loved being here...
So good, you players, so good.
Love
N.
| dragynville @ July 1 2004, 09:03:27 UTC |
This post is a beautiful thing, thank you for that walk down memory lane. :)
(parent)| lazy_daze @ July 1 2004, 09:48:17 UTC |
Thank you. Oh, each of these is just as fantastic as the first time round - I will never get bored of reading old posts. <3
(parent)| polina_slosvau @ July 1 2004, 10:54:14 UTC |
Thanks for writing this, it's perfect.
I discovered NA through one of your fics, Aja - where you mentioned potterstinks in your A/N. ;) So thank you for that as well.
Dah, but I'll miss this RPG and its characters. The players have all been amazing. The story has always been incredibly enthralling. Thanks for putting so much effort into it, everyone.
-+- Juwely.
| botherd @ July 1 2004, 12:35:04 UTC |
Oh, I can't believe it's over. Thank you for making this post. I've only been following NA for a few months, and so I've missed alot of this, and it's wonderful to look over old entries. Oh, NA! <£
(parent)| thestrand @ July 1 2004, 13:10:39 UTC |
Oh, I love you for doing this, but just reading this and opening the first few links...I can't stop crying.
(parent)| novembersnow @ July 1 2004, 13:15:14 UTC |
This is a lovely post, and I suppose it's only appropriate that your tribute make me sniffly, since it was your squeeful posts about potterstinks that made me start following NA (how long ago? gosh, I don't even know now--it seems like forever).
All the bittersweet goodbyes remind me vividly of when I graduated from college, and everyone split up to go their different ways with no real certainty that we'd ever be together again.
I feel almost as if I've lost a friend.
| catiadoodle @ July 1 2004, 13:38:23 UTC |
I can't read everything you wrote right now, I'm in an internet cafe and I don't have the time, but I wanted to say I loved NA and nraged.
Much, much love to ALL the players.
Thank you.
| sistermagpie @ July 1 2004, 15:15:36 UTC |
Yes to everything.
I can't believe something so wonderful was put together by so many people just out of love of the characters. There are very few endings in my life that have been this meaningful to me. Thanks to everyone, even if I can't stop crying.
| saturninesprite @ July 1 2004, 17:21:10 UTC |
i see that a few other people have already said this, but i also found NA through you. at the end of one of your chapters or something..
so, thank you.
| exprophet @ July 1 2004, 19:16:33 UTC |
I honestly felt like nocturne_alley was a person. I had personal (if one-sided) spats with it. I would stalk off and abandon it because it was sucking up too much of my life. I would come back to it and it would kill me with laughter. I would love it to death because of that, and then it would make me cry. LIKE AN ABUSIVE BUT CHARMING SPOUSE/FRIEND. But one that you love. And I think that's the important part. No, I will not be attending group therapy, thanks.
| bookshop @ July 1 2004, 19:41:28 UTC |
I really love this post. I just linked to it from my journal (brimful) because somebody said that maybe the desire of people to write fanfic about NA now that it is ending stems from a desire for closure. I agree--and added:
I think that in this, as all things, NA and the way we feel about the characters is closer to how we feel about real people than how we feel about fanfic. We don't always get closure in many of our relationships in life--and as difficult as that is, I think it's remarkable that the massive amounts of weeping and sheer withdrawal the game is causing reflects that dynamic--the human need for closure when a real relationship ends. Or, actually, I couldn't put it better than exprophet put it here. Like a friend. One that you love.
I just, I understand exactly how you feel. I had a very stormy, intense, always passionate, deep love for NA and so many of its members. But always the love trumped and trumps everything.
WAH. *cries and cries*
| bloodybrilliant @ July 1 2004, 23:30:56 UTC *ETA* |
Thanks so much for saying this, Aja. I add my "Yes. Exactly! You have reduced me to tears (again!) with this post."
Thank you N_A and all of you Players for an incredible story which I believe in with all my heart. You have made these characters so real to me and to so many others here, including those who do not post here or chat. I just have to de-lurk to give my praise to you all. All of the characters, storylines, scenarios, and interactions between characters are simply the most believable things I have encountered in fandom. Certainly nothing else seems as *real* as Nocturne Alley. I have read other stories where I have come to relate to, identify with, feel for, know and love the characters, but nothing else has made me do so to such a degree as this. Potterstinks, just_harry, turpinol, lupercus, jadedsirius, purestblood, seamus f, erniemacmillan, petitemillicent, potions_master (you made me cry the hardest the other day!) and *everyone* are so true and so Real...I am moved as though I know these people in my life, as though they exist in more that just on this screen and inside cables and hard drives and the minds of their players. It is as though they themselves live, breathe, laugh and feel pain as I do. I have never laughed as much nor hurt as much as when I have been reading Nocturne Alley, especially in this past week.
Bravo N A.
Bravo Players.
Bravo NrAged.
and Thank You.
Much love <3<3<3
Isobel
| sinisteral @ July 2 2004, 16:26:36 UTC |
You said all the things I wanted to say and more! I know I would miss nocturne_alley so much like a lot of the fandom and declare that it is probably one of the best RPGs out there! Thank you NA and thank you Aja for posting up this memorable posts like these that we can't get enough of =D!
| catiadoodle @ July 5 2004, 15:28:57 UTC |
Finally I can access the internet and take time to fully read Nraged.
Each link you posted here made me smile and cry at the same time, I'm glad nobody's really watching...
Thank you.
